You see me as the type of person who hurts so much but still finds ways to laugh and put on a smile, someone who’s willing to brighten your day even if she can’t stand her own. But a lot of times she just drops that fake smile you see everyday and the laughter you hear becomes quite all because she realize she cant keep doing this, as that one tear fall downs her cheek. Nobody notices when she becomes quit because she knows she’ll get hurt again, she becomes afraid to care now all because she’s has a fear that no one else could care less about needs.

She believe that she not worth the time or efferent it takes for someone to feel special. She slowly starting to hate school, not because of the work, not because of the drama or the people, but because she knows she has to put up with the act she’s created for hours at a time. She doesn’t care to go out with friends to a movie knowing she’s going to be a “third wheel”. She gets fed up with always seeing couples together everywhere she goes, and always thinking what’s wrong with her. It gets annoying after a while to listen to her friends asking for her help on things, sure she does it anyways but just to be a good friend. The thing that makes her bother her the most is with in every movie , a book comes from it and with every movie, a song joins the party and soon after music joins. Its ironic that they all happened to have the good things about love, never the realistic things that happen in relationships. It’s even come to the point to wear she doesn’t want to go out in public because she knows that all she’s going to see and once again put on her fake smile and act like everything is great. It seems to bother her so much, knowing the fact she can’t do fuck all mostly because she’s just given up on love, because she knows she's unloved.

Her close friends try to cheer her up, they joke about it, say things they don’t really mean, she’s even heard “you’ve got so many more years till you get old.” and all she can ever think is maybe but that doesn’t mean she want to spend the rest of her youth alone, asking anyone to help her end it all, in any size, shape or form.

Dances come and dances go, but Prom will come once and what will she do than, will she dread it too, just like everything else. Prom is the greatest night of our lives, but what happens when no one wants to take her? Is she support to put her act once again for one more night even if it means it wont turn out to be the greatest night of her life?

Her best friend doesn’t think, she doesn’t believe her sister for life should put on a act for the last two years of school. She doesn't think her best friend should dread dances, movies, dates, or even prom if that meant her leavening the house with her friends and their lovers. But her “sister for life” believes that if nothing has change in the past two years, so what makes her think things will change now? and all her friend can say is you' don’t know what’s going to happen in the next two years of school, because school wont be over for years to come Sometimes she doesn’t realize that you need to forget what you want, and remember what you deserve, even if it only makes you happy for so long.



So ladies and gentleman, this is what a girl who’s so hurt that she’ll willing to put on a fake smile and a fake act on for years on, just because she can’t see behind the pain she’s already been through.

11.04.09
( P.S i just write for fun this poem has nuttin to do with my life, just of what i think some people feel like)