you know i love how life has this werid way of telling us what to do and pushing us into the right people
i am really happy i found the love of my life
and that my best friend might have found hers 2
this thing called life has a funny thing about making us see the truth in the weridest ways

The walls I have around me were meant to protect me instead, they've destroyed me. They're built to high, to thick, and I don't know how to break them down.

sometimes when u dont text me it makes me think of when u left me once before i need u and want u in my life its hard to live when u are not in my life. my heart was broken once by u and i still have my wall up and i know thats not good but i just need to know if u really love me as much as u claim. because i know that i love u more then i love myself and i know its not good but its how i feel. i wish i could get into your head and see what u really feel and think.
i hope u and i last for a long time but if u are using me or u dont love me the way u say then i am done i will hurt but i will live.

today i feel like someone just kicked me a million times i am so emotional i just want to cry all the time. i feel so sad and i know y but i dont . i am so confused and so out of my real mind its crazy. i have not left my house in 3 days how do u just never leave i am just so sad. i cant wait to get back to school and not think about my life and the love of my life and how he broke my heart. i never thought it would be this hard to get over someone i mean i know i have to because he has but i dont want to . my head says i have to forget and my heart says love him and he will come back he just needs space. which one do i lisen to my head or my heart? i dont know and thats why i am so drained i think . i keep playing everything over and over in my head and it has to stop but its so hard to make it stop. people that i love keep leaving and everytime i let my walls down and my guards down i get hurt . i think that i am going to keep my walls up from now on and just let people in that i know 500%% will never leave me and right now i can only think of 2 people that is sad . but i needed to write this somewhere and get it off my chest.
i hope things get better.

YOU CHANGED MY LIFE
YOU MADE ME A BETTER PERSON
NOW YOUR JUST A MEMORY =(

god must have it out for me he wont let me have anything good in my life and when i do get something he takes it away. i fall in love he takes it away and then i find a new and thing to love he takes that wtf. how am i ever going to be happy i think i am going to die alone and have nothing its so much easyer then this feeling right now the feeling of not being wanted the feeling like i am not as important as anything eles the feeling that i am not pretty enoff for you i am not good for your life what the hel i give up .....

well i dont know how but.........MY LIFE IS GREAT RIGHT NOW I AM SO HAPPY I DONT KNOW WHAT CHANGED ....WAIT I DO I FOUND SOMONE WHO I CARE ABOUT SO MUCH AND HE FEELS THE SAME WAY LOL . i just hope its always this good

so yah
happy thanks to him

so i guess our friendship is over and i guess its for the best i mean i am going to miss u how could i not. but i cant wait around till u are ready to not let a guy run your life . maybe one day u will chose friends over him but i might not be there waiting but i guess change is what is and we have to go on with our lives and maybe one day it will all get better

daddy i wish you knew how it hurts that u cant see me graduate and i wish you knew how hard it is to say our dad lives so far away and we never get to see him .

if only you would just come home and see us grow up you have already missed so much

god i am so mad at myself i let my emotions get the better of me and i messed up with you everytime you come around i dont know what to say its like i freeze it makes me feel like crap
i really like you but you dont like me like i like you which is ok i mean i am not sure you and i would work
but i feel like its all werid now that you know how i feel and i dont know how to make it all go back to normal
i guess i will have to make it work some how its all so werid now but i wish i could take back what i said so life would go back to normal.
i guess i will wait and see what happens maybe you will read this and see that i like you but i dont want to make things anymore werid then they are ...

its raining i thought it was summer
but i guess its all right i wanted to watch all those movies that i keep saying i am going to watch but i never get around to it
so rainy days are not that bad

i hate how i always see u
you were gone for a long time and i was me again and then you came back and now i dont know who iam
you kiss me and i fell for it but really u only see me as a pices of ass
why cant i find a real person to love me no matter and not some one that will just uses me and throws me away like you
i dont want your kisses anymore
i dont want to see you
and i know one thing with out you i am so much more happy
i am done wasting my time on you when i could waste it on someone who really loves me
i am done so if you are reading this i dont want to know you any more i am sorry iam done being played

do you have to give me butterflies everytime i am around you.
i dont know what it is but i get all shy around you and it makes me crazy.
i cant belive i could like you

i cant get you out of my mind
i want to spend more time with you and see what is there
after seeing you last night all i have done is think about you
and i cant get your voice out of my head

why cant you see that all i ever wanted was you
but some how you cant see that
maybe its time i let it go its for the best
dont talk to me or call me i need to forget we even thought it would work out.