wow, i havent been this down in a long long time...i usually just hide it when im slowly falling into a depression. but here we go...the rollercoaster of emotions are heading my way... i dont wanna do anything but lay in bed and stare into space...ive screwd up. i always do...i dont see why i think that would change...im screwing up the best thing ive evr had...fuck...y do i do this..