Well, recently i realized i've found myself trying to write blogs on facebook. but i'm terrified for THAT many people to see them. as i do talk way to much... sooo then i tried a "thoughts book" aka. diary:P didn't like that either cause i found i was only talking to a book and not to others... sooo here i am, back on nexopia... the only place where i feel comfortable writing my true feelings without being ridiculed.
Thanks Nex, i knew i'd be back sooner or later.
blek, i don't know what to do with you.. serisously..
as much as i hate to admit it i don't think your as mature
as i would like you to be... your parents still RUN your life
and EVERY aspect of it.. only a few hours on computer,
only 2 hours on ps3, can't be out late on a FRIDAY OR SATURDAY..
have to read a book before bed,
can't text because your not responsible enough to have
a texting plan.. can only hang out when theyy say its okay
like fuck... it's like i'm dating a 10 year old. I'm so used to
dating people who either don't have parents around, or
have parents that are like mine... seriously, you may not
realize it but i can see them being our breakin point.
and i can see your immaturity being a problem.
i mean you still don't have a job and you just get money off mommy and daddy,
your to lazy to go get a license even though your already a year behind,
you procastinate on everything until the point where your crunching to
get assignments done for the next day.. then you get mad, cus they
aren't done, then take your anger out on me on MSN.
all you talk about it MW2 to me and your "KD ratio", you think talking
about sex is weird and anything even remotely related is discusting..
hell i can't even tell you my past
without you thinking it's a "weird" subject..
you really just don't get it.. By this time i should be able
to talk ot you about anything, and i should be able to trust
you to support me, or give me feed back.. but i can't..
i don't know if i feel this way cus ive been dating older guys,
who are matured and don't have parents who refuse to cut
the umbilical cord, or what.. but all of this shit is really bothering
me.. the fact that i can't even get ahold of you, becasue you can't
text and you flat out find your PS3 more important is fucked up.
i want a boyfriend that i can talk to..
i want a boyfriend that will listen to me when i need him to...
i want a boyfriend that doesn't make me feel like i'm in a 3 way relationship with his parents.
i just want you to be... someone your obviously not and won't even be.
i don't know. i really don't know how much longer i can paddle this 2 person boat on my own.
Date: Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:52 pm
Subject: No Subject
hey hows it going im 22 m Vancouver if u wanna talk more add me on msn lt.col.frankslade2005@hotmail.com you are so pretty my god would love to talk some more
To: Slaughter105
From: *-dee.xo
Date: Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:57 pm
Subject: Re: No Subject
haha i'm 16, and not particularly attracted to rapists or freaks with no friends soo when you stop hittin on LG's, get some nex friends that arent just female.. and get some less "mugshot" type photos MAYBE just maybee will i continue to talk to you ... until then do like a 9 yr old boy and jack off to them movie stars
all this time we spent feels like nothing at all...
in one quick moment i watch it all fall...
its shakes and it crumbles as i sit there and cry..
you were all gone in a blink of an eye..
swing batter batter swing batter batter swing..
you were a bestfriend, an ex, and just some random thing.
i wish i had known what all you would do..
i thought you'd be there and i thought you 'd be true..
1 strike 2 strike now were on 3
don't worry bout missing just swing to a T
Will, you were my bestfriend, my buddy and i'd thought you'd be there..
but apparently not.. you don't even care.
disregaurd how i'm feeling.. put a mental block to..
with both you shouldn't feel the pain i went through..
Jordan, you are my ex, yet a goodfriend at that..
or atleast that's what i thought.. not just a player up to bat..
disregaurd how i'm feeling.. put a mental block to..
with both you shouldn't feel the pain i went through..
Now there's one last person, who i THOUGHT gave a shit..
didn't think he would be like the rest of the pit.
He came up to bat, and i thought it was done.
John you were such a sweetheart but you have to much fun..
a puddle between us, don't think it matters.
cause either way your just one of the batters.
Now as i stand here and pitch, my arm goes limp
can't stand the heartbreak, can't give a shit.
the game is over. and they're all at strike 3..
i wish this game hadn't happened to me.
alright can we please get some originality in these random creeper msg's? please?
"hey baby youre gorgeous/sxy/hot/beautiful"
"do you have msn"
"hows it going"
like holy fuck use a brain cell when you try to spark a conversation...
i want to be friends, but i dont want to fight like couples do.
i want to be able to give you a hug without you thinking i think theres something going on.
i want to be able to tell people we are JUST friends and for them to believe me...
but you're making this nearly impossible..
you said we'd be bestfriends... well bestfriends DO hang out all the time..
bestfriends ARE there when the other needs them... bestfriends can be as stupid as they want around eachother and neither cares.
i wishhh i had that kind of relationship wiht you.. i wish you could be my BESTFRIEND.
because no i don't want you completely gone...
but i do want you to understand that's all i want... and when you call me ripping
me a new one about how were not together... it hurts.. i KNOW were not together.
i do not WANT to be together... i want to be BESTFRIENDS.. and somehow
we can't even manage that.
