fuck I hate skool, I left my parents and the skool tht I had been in 4ever,ever since i started skool. And the skool I orginially tried to get in2 was a bitch about the fuckin' paperwork, so I went to an outreach center and they made me redo fuckin' calm, when I already did the fuckin' course. They cudnt get my transcrpit the day i signed up,but they didnt even fuckin' bother to ask what classes i have taken durnin' serior high. instead they just fuckin' think tht i wanna take fuckin' calm all over again. well they r fuckin' wrong. I passed it the first time cuz I hated it, and now im fuckin' do it again. And because I already did the fuckin' course, im now 2 weeks handin in the fuck calm modual tht they gave me.I cant afford to waste a simester doin' jack fuck, i need to do sumthinh' or else I wont fuck graduate.
If I dont inish this thing then Im gonna end up droppin out most likely and I dont wanna fuckin' do tht , My parents didnt fuckin' graduate and now im just gonna follow in their footsteps like usual.I wanted to graduate and make my parents proud, well tht fuckin' idea just went down the fuckin' tubes, big time. I cant do anythin' fuckin' right, im just a fuckin' screw up.Its all tht im good at apparently is fuckin' things up. I fucked up my skoolin', my parents think im fuckin' stupid 4 movin, and now im startin' 2 think tht they r right. But im not gonna move back to their house, im a stubborn fuck and i wont admit defeat.
I wanted 2 go 2 university and become a mechanical engineer,but im not gonna manage tht i cant even fuckin' do anythin' right. Im barely gonna graduate if im lucky.
The only thing tht I have ever been any fuckin' good at was workin' with horses,but tht went down the tubes like 5 years ago. When I worked with horse tht was the only time tht nothin' but being calm and relaxed mattered, I had no ither fuckin' wrries. My only problem was figurin' out what the horse was tryin' 2 tell me,but those days r long fuckin' gone. Ill b lucky if I get another chance to work with horses, I think tht is what kept me sane 4 as long as it did, was tht when I was workin' with horses it didnt matter what assignment was late or what assignment was due the nxt day, the only thing tht mattered was the horse and me. I miss tht so much,Tht was the only time tht I ever felt any real peace was when I didnt have anythin' but myself and the horse to wrry about. I dont kno if im ever gonna get tht bck

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus:]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart, right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
An' every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus:]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

[Chorus:]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

I thot tht he was the 1, i was wrong.
Feel used and abused,dont kno y i even bothered.
im gonna let depression set in and take away
whats left of my emotions.
gonna go bck 2 the way tht things were.
didnt have 2 wrry about emotions and fallin' 4 sum1
its such a waste of time.

Y do emotions have 2 hurt so much?
I feel so confused.
Listen 2 my heart doesnt work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!