I Am A Mommy!!
He is the most important thing in my life.
Name: Drevyn Jay
Birthdate: November 8, 2008
Weight: 8 Lbs, 12 Oz.
Length: 22 Inches
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i did have you but, you let go...
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09:20pm | Jan 17, '09 | Public
You had it all:
i just want to find that special one that can trust me enough to be open and honest, no you dont have to tell me everything but, why wouldn't you want to? to have that person know that when your upset that all they want to do is make you happy again. someone that understands that sometimes things get rough but, getting through the rough parts in life is what builds a relationship stronger. someone that knows they dont have to have so many eye popping stories to be interesting, that she doesnt have to try to compete with everyone for my heart cuz she already owns it. that knows life isnt how many breaths you take it's about the moments that take your breath away. i was so very much happy a short while ago, and thought my life was a dream because i never thought i deserved what i had only to find out that it was true. maybe i don't deserve the happieness i once had, but theres nothing on this earth that will ever make me forget you, and maybe i am doomed to walk this life alone just know that i was once the happiest man in the entire world with you and with one fowl swoop it was taken away. i know you were happy to because i seen the sparkle in your eye everytime we were together, then one day i realized the sparkle had faded. i dont know what ever happened to make you so angry at me but, i hope one day you will find what you are looking for. as for me i will forever be here alone and wondering why this all had to be taken away from me. you will always be my forever. i know this because my sparkle for you will never fade, because no matter what you believe the ring and our worlds becoming one was just a year away. i will love you forever and i will never forget or let go of you. xxxoo
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Just like I thought. Things were perfect, but I let it go. No. In all actuality, I was pushed too far. I did trust you enough to be open and honest with you. Only for it to turn around and bite me in the ass. Wow, that was really rewarding. I did tell you everything about me. Every last depressing fucking detail. Its hard to go and smile every day when yea, you were the one i depended on to make me feel better, but as ironic as that was, it is very hard to allow you to make me feel better when you were the reason i was upset in the first place. Yes, I do understand that sometimes things get rough in a relationship and you have to work at making it stronger. Rough means arguments, disagreements, the OCCASIONAL disaster. Rough does not mean dropping the woman who is pregnant with your baby off in the middle of nowhere, and driving away, even tho you still come back. Rough does not mean that you can push me around whenever you feel like it. Rough does not mean making me change everything about my life for you, expecting me to drop everything on a dime, just to run and cater to your every whim and command. Rough does not mean a 2 day fight when your pregnant girlfriend tells you she doesn't want sex one night. I felt I had to compete with everyone, not for your heart, but for some attention, for some love, attention and desperately begging you for the respect i deserve. Funny you should say it, because, no, you don't deserve what i did for you. After the way you decided to treat me, you dont deserve me. The same is to be said for me, I don't deserve you. I know I deserve someone who will treat me the way a human being should be treated. Like I told you in court, not everything was bad. When we had good times, they were amazing. I wouldn't have changed anything about them. Then, the honeymoon phase ended. Then you figured you had me sucked in so far I forgot what way was up. News to you, I never forgot. If you're expecting me to feel sorry for you, with pathetic lines like "i will forever be here alone and wondering why this all had to be taken away from me. you will always be my forever. i know this because my sparkle for you will never fade" sorry, but life sucks that way. Not a chance. Well you did manage to get one thing right, no matter what i believe about that ring bit? Yea right. That was the biggest piece of shit I have ever heard. Not only is it unbelievable, it is so far fetched its funny. I finally listened to what my conscience was telling me, and did what was best for me and my son. Thankfully it kicked in before this "ring" had made "our world become one." I feel sorry for you, trying to make people pity you for your whole "I'm always going to be alone, maybe its destined that I'm alone for the rest of my life." I know what I am looking for now. It may take a while before i find it, but when I do, it wont be too good to be true, it will be something I deserve. Something both my son and I deserve. I will never forget you, and its probably not the way you'd want me to remember you, but like they say, it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to demolish it, to the point where it will never be replaceable. I hope you figure out what you want with the rest of your life, I really do, because I have, and it is an amazing feeling when you know how much you're worth, and how much you really do mean to someone.




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I want somebody to sleep with for the rest of my life, and cuddle up during a movie, on a couch. Stay up all night talking about nothing. Get lost in the woods together. Challenge me, challenge him. Talk about dreams, make dreams, Have fights, the kind that only really matter just as long as you're having them. Someone I can wrestle with, you know, play hard sometimes and not worry about breaking a nail or an arm. A guy who will bring me flowers, once in a while, maybe a rock too or a shell of some sort. Something he saw that made him think of me, made him think "this might make my girl smile" as he smiles to himself. A guy who wants me, maybe even needs me, just a little, enough to hold onto me with everything he's got.

I wanna be the girl that he's so afraid to lose,
the one where he can't walk away knowing I'm mad at him.
The one that makes it hard for him to fall asleep,
my voice being the last he hears.
The one who wouldn't know what to do without me

Have I ever been in love? Yea, once. Most amazing feeling in the world. Do I think it was a mistake? No. As of this day, no, I don't believe in love anymore. The phrase is used way to nonchalantly and way too often. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to it by any means..right now I just don't belive its for me at the time being. If i manage to find a guy, in my lifetime, who can make me believe in it again, well cudos to him..if he can put up with me for long enough, well thats his choice.

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Take me out, under the stars, hold me tight..let me know this is where you want to be for the moment...hold on to me like you're afraid to lose me...all the things guys think are cheesy...i happen to love the cheesy things..

My Mind Is Going To Be What Kills Me...Slowly and Painfully

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Look into my eyes
See the emptiness
Smile and my heart is yours
Fall into my arms
I'll hold you while your here
Take my hand for all eternity
If you do i'll pick you up and make you feel like your on top of the world
Kiss me at the right time to be hit by cupids arrow
Feel the love flowing through your body with warmth
Touch me with your gentle touch
Make me feel good with your loving words
But most of all love me as much as i love you

:+: Go AHEAD and JUDGE me
but KNOW that it doesnt hurt me
the slightest bit
i am my OWN WORST critic
and you cannot beat how bad
I JUDGE MYSELF . :+:


Love is patient and kind,
It is never jealous,
Love is never boastful or conceited,
It is never rude or selfish,
It does not take offence, nor is it resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in others’ sins but delights in the truth;
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
Love does not come to an end.
There are three things that last, faith, hope and love
And the greatest of these is love

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