Okay. so this is the time where i really wish that things would stay the way it is for at least another month, but ive been expecting this to happen for a while now, and its just gay how im writing all of this on nexopia because i have a good enough feeling that the people who do take the time to read my blog, are the people who do matter the most to me and will appreciate the fact that i mentioned their names. SO My dears this is just a small reassurance that i havent forgotten you YET.

Samantha Mason, Michelle Peverett, Marc Parsons, Danielle Balanag, Lyra Brown, Maddy Paquet, Deanna Van Cordero, Paula Yakibonge.

SO you bitches have pretty much seen me go through hell, and were courteous enough to listen to my bullshit, so thanks and amidst all the deep stuff, you made my year a hell of a lot easier to get through.

-Go to whyte and check out hot gay men at gravity pope.

-Watch Wicker Park and cry our eyes out.

-Have one of our long conversations in person for a change.

-rant about how gay men are while we enjoy a hot sensual date with Ben n' Jerry.

-Maddy gives me a flirting course.

-Sneak my ghetto car out and let maddy drive it.

-EGG, WHIP CREAM, VASELINE SOMEONE'S HOUSE.


YEA. damn right we're gonnna get all of that shit done in one day... soon.

my lifestyle has always been really shitty... There are many vices that trigger this unlhealthy way of living which is why im making a list of things i love to give in to... As of now, i am whole heartedly giving up some of my guilty pleasures for the sake of my fragile body.


LYING
Mcdicks, im breaking up with you as of now.
Internet, waste of time
Racist jokes/comments, why hasen't anyone reported me at school yet?
PORN... kidding
Substance abuse
Spigs, geez you're killing me slowly... literally
Putis, I'm im afraid im starting to sink down to your level.
Hair dye, my cheveux is brittle
Tv, you're ruining my eye sight and you're making me stupider than i was yesterday.
Being fake
Eating like a mad man
Swearing
not peeing when i need to
Comparing my body to Nicole Richie's
Buying Life & Style magazines
Not eating for a week and then binging.

Instead...

Pee when i need to
Drink eight glasses of Water a day
GYM
Smile at people even if i hate who he or she is
Grace Ainlay kids with my presence in grade eleven
Get my Learners
Find a Job.
being positive even if it hurts
Better daughter
Organize my binders
Limiting Alcohol intake
Eat celery
Get honor role
move out
Lose fifteen pounds
use my skipping rope every day

Arctopussy= Marc Parsons- spoops

how I love to give in. says:
PHIL WON THE LYRICS COMPETITION.:(

how I love to give in. says:
geez he only won by default because no one joined the competition except for him

Arctopussy says:
PHILIPPE I HATE YOU!!

Arctopussy says:
PHILS MOM HAS A BIG ASS

Arctopussy says:
PHIL RAPES HER EVERY DAY

how I love to give in. says:
PHIL'S MOM HAS BIG BOOBS.

how I love to give in. says:
SHE BREAST FEEDS HIM EVERY DAY


__________________________________________________​__________


Arctopussy says:
NATIVE SMELLS LIKE LYSOL AND HAIRSPRAY AND DIRTY ASSES

how I love to give in. says:
NO MAN

how I love to give in. says:
NATIVE SMELLS LIKE DIRTY HIV SWEAT AND DRY CRACKED FEET.
that was smothered in a horses ass hole

Arctopussy says:
AND BIG NOSTRILS FULL OF VAGINAL DISCHARGE

how I love to give in. says:
NO THATS THEIR KIDS.

how I love to give in. says:
all of the 13 year old kids have babies with BIG FAT CHEEKS AND BIG YELLOW SNOT BOOOGIES SMEARED ACROSS THEIR BIG FAT FACES.

Arctopussy says:
LMAO AND THEY CUT THEMSELVES SOOO MUCH

how I love to give in. says:
in the vaginal area
because they are two poor to afford DUREX. so they use plastic wrap instead

Dang and I are forming an asian crew.
until we find people, we're sticking to:




KD KLAN

Kinky & Dinky

I dont care if you read this. i may regret what i say later but right now every word im saying is true. we may share the same blood, but being related was not a choice so you are no more of a friend or a sister to me. I think that a healthy relationship with each other speaks louder than just sharing the same dna. I know you think i dont realize the extent of how much i have effected you and the family, but i do. and for your fucking information that is why im leaving. because ive hurt you enough. so let me fucking be. thanks for you help but you havent seen results so give up. you are done with me as much as i am with you. I dont deserve to be in this family and you dont deserve to put up with me. so leave me alone. you honestly think i dont know whats going on? FUCK. if i wasnt aware of anything, i'd still pretend like everything was just fucking dandy. but no its not. so stop praying cuhs prayers will never be enough to change who i am. your little speeches only remind me of how fake i am. you dont know me at all.

I remember when getting high was a fast right on my bike
-the lyrics didnt matter just a good tune to dance to
-When my dad was my protection and a shoulder to cry on
-the kids i considered best friends were the cool people and backstabbing was never an issue
-I wouldnt have to worry about the next day because it was planned out already.
- I used to cry over bad test results, and when my sister and I would fight
-The weather didnt change my mood
-When depression was a joke and cutting was a cry for attention
-day dreaming was easy
-Smiling wasnt difficult
-I found security underneath a blanket
-Being fake came easily
-I loved getting attention from people
-I would play house and pretending to be pregnant was okay
-club meetings in special hiding places
-when i didnt know that bitch meant female dog and Ass meant Donkey
-I looked forward to my next birthday
-I remember when hot meant an extremely warm object and not a good looking person
-falling asleep was not hard.
-i hated being by myself
-i loved people
-cuts and bruises were accidental
-it was easy to breathe
-my addictions were cartoons, the phone and lip gloss

boo. i cant do this anymore.
i cant fucking take this anymore
i cant even hold in the anger or the pain nor the tears.
boo.
i fucking hate you life.

Statements of Pure Honesty
Instructions:
Write fifteen statements,
Intended to different people.
Never tell which one is to who.


1. you smoke and drink and like hot dogs and tacos. i hate how i can never tell what you're thinking. but thats okay. and sometimes i can never read you and yet we know each other so well. but hey. we're close so it doesnt matter.

2.you're creepy and enjoyable and talkable and extremely white and i had a dream that we had a sexual encounter. it scared me and ever since then i can never look at you the same.

3. sometimes i wonder how i feel for you and if its worth the risk asking. but you're so fobby its sick. and i want to run away because you're a creep fucking creep.

4. I love you because you're musically talented and skinny and talll and beautiful. and i want us to date. you my ideal.

5. We can talk for hours and hours and hours on the phone and never say one word to each other at school. you're the only one who ive made cry when we talk and when we talk its about everything.
and how gay you can be sometimes and how much you make a difference in everything i do.

6. i hate you because im addicted to you and you make my fingers turn yellow because you're filled with fucked up chemicals and fuck you. i hate you and whoever gave birth to you.


7. you make me enjoy physical education and i feel so close to you sometimes its scary. i love you and how we decide to dress a certain way or feel a certain way. i hope you know that you make me laugh and have introduced me to having fun and being happy even on my shit bag days. ive forgotten what its like until i met you.


8. i fucking hate you because you have a double chin and you're a rude nasty white bitch who spits when you talk and dates a nasty drug addict who cant live without his coo coo pills.

9. we clicked from the very start and since then, i get crazy when i dont see you in the hallway because you're the reason im happy when i come to school. you relieve my pain, stress, hate, cravings, everything. you are my life saver.

10. i love you because i have to. you're a nastardo skank puka.

11. you're addicted to porn and when you're older, i fear that you will be one of the many old men creeepers who talk to 12 years olds on the internet and have sex with them.

12. we bring the retard out of each other and we get drunk at random times. we like to change price tags on clothes we feel are rip offs, and i like to fart and stink up the whole room as well as have eating competitions. boo. you make me fat.

13. you compose and write amazing songs and your strength astounds me. " i look at my reflection and think who is that fat ass walking behind me? oh wait thats me!" oh darling. i care for you beyond belief.

14. i love you no matter how gay you are. looked so sexxy on the ninth of march. i felt like a proud mama.

15. you scare me because you're so skinny and you may have an eating disorder. and i care for you so much. but i dont know you that well and secretly i want you to tell me your secret so i can be just as skinny.

1. Smoked
2. Consumed alcohol
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5. Made out with someone of the opposite sex
6. Made out with someone of the same sex
7. Had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8. Bought porn
9. Watched porn
10. Done drugs
SCORE = 5

11. Taken pain killers
12. Taken someone else’s prescription medicine
13. Lied to your parents
14. Lied to a friend
15. Snuck out of the house
16. Done something illegal
17. Cut yourself
18. Hurt someone
19. Wished someone to die
20. Seen someone die
SCORE = 7

21. Missed curfew
22. Stayed out all night
23. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24. Been to a therapist
25. Been to rehab
26. Dyed your hair
27. Received a ticket
28. Been in a wreck
29. Been to a club
30. Been to a bar
SCORE = 4

31. Been to a wild party
32. Seen the Mardi Gras
34. Had a spring break in Florida
35. Sniffed anything
36. Wore black nail polish
37. Wore arm bands
38. Wore t-shirts with band names
39. Listened to rap
40. Own a 50 cent cd
SCORE = 4


41. Dressed gothic
42. Dressed prep
43. Dressed punk
44. Dressed grunge
45. Stolen something
46. Been too drunk to remember anything
47. Blacked out
48. Fainted
49. Had a crush on your neighbor
50. Had someone sneak into your room
SCORE = 7

51. Snuck into some else's room
52. Had a crush on someone of the same sex
53. Been to a concert
54. Dry humped someone
55. Been called a slut
56. Called someone a slut
57. Installed speakers in your car
58. Broke a mirror
59. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60. Brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
SCORE = 7


61. Consider ludacris your favorite rapper
62. Seen an R rated movie in theaters
63. Cruised the mall
64. Skipped school
65. Had an eating disorder
66. Had an injury
67. Gone to court
68. Walked out of a resteraunt without paying
69. Caught something on fire
70. Lied about your age
SCORE = 5

71. Owned an apartment
72. Cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73. Cheated with someone huh?
74. Got in trouble with the police
75. Talked to a stranger
76. Hugged a stranger
77. Kissed a stranger
78. Rode in the car with a stranger
79. Been sexually harrassed
80. Been verbally harassed
SCORE = 6

81. Met face to face with someone you met online
82. Stayed online for 12 hours straight
83. Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84. Watched tv for 12 hours straight
85. Been to a fair
86. Been called a bad influence
87. Cursed
88. Prank called someone
89. Laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
SCORE = 8.

91. Cheated on homework
92. Held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93. Been pushed into a pool
94. Played pool
95. Watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96. Had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97. Had a crush on someone younger than you
98. Wear eyeliner
99. Skinny dipped
100. Laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
SCORE = 7

score = 59

10-20= Goodie goodie
21-30= A little rebelious
31-40= Getting hot baby
41-50= Rebel
51-60= Bad girl/boy
61-70= Bitch
71-80= Can’t believe you made it this far, ass hole
81-90= Damn
91-100= Fucking bad ass

I know it doesn't seem it but you've helped with so many of the challenges in my life. You knew exactly what to say when to say it and I know God brought you to me at the time when I needed you most, I hate that we drifted so much this year and that this year has gone by so fast. Even though you're leaving the school I don't want you to be out of my life...cause I don't know what I'd do without you. You are a beautiful person inside and out and I want you to know that I am always gonna be here for you, no matter what the circumstances..you know you can always count on me whenever you need me...this is incredibly cheesy but incredibly true..you filled a spot in my heart with confidence and happiness that I never thought would be filled, until you came into my life..you are my rock..thank you for everything you've done, I love you so much , Good luck in the future.

raachieepoo, i have a rap for you >=) LOLOL
:
yoyoyo, it's rachels fobpriend here.
she's a pucking hot madapucker eh,
so, fo cho mackers,
better think before yo mack
or i won't cut you no slack
think i'm joking?
oh no,nonono jokes here
i'd slice off your puny little sack
soo bitch better take a step back
and fo yo bitches who fcuk with her
cause she a shortty,
just to let yo know
she my homegirl
so if yo fcuk with her
imma make yo hurl,
who the shortty now huh?

rachie poo
i miss yoo
everyone else is kinda lame
they dont noe howda play our ghetto games
yo baby i love you like you noe
us gangstuugggs arr foe shoeee.
roughh in the streets and in the hood
representenn like we shulld
the definition of a thugg
but we love our hugss
dem other kids they don't noe shit
reagerr and nigks were da ones to get witt.






<3 nicolllllllle