Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
MY 18TH! :D
Days
0
0
0
Hours
0
0
Minutes
0
0
FRIENDS
Denis
24, Male, Edmonton
Divinity53
21, Male, Truro
DUstAn111
25, Male, Fort Saskatchewan
its.me.bitches.
22, Male, Edmonton
joey.a
20, Male, Chilliwack
kiss.me
17, Female, Edmonton
~*lilscrapper*~
18, Male, Edmonton
Limniades
21, Female, Edmonton
~*sammy~*
17, Female, Edmonton
Steph
21, Female, Edmonton
XRRODGERSX
20, Female, Drumheller
xwhyteboix
60, Male, Canada
RECENT ALBUMS
Imported Pictures
September 08, 2008These are pictures Nexopia has moved into the gallery when we updated our picture system.
 |
.:Born to Dance:. <3
I am me, think you can deal with it?
*\Tattooed and pierced/*
I am me, think you can deal with it?
*\Tattooed and pierced/*
BASICS
| Birthday: | July 02, 1992 |
| Sexual Orientation: | Heterosexual |
| Living Situation: | Living with parents/relatives |
| Location: | Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta, Canada |
| Join Date: | 07:04pm | Jul 16, '07 |
| Profile Updated: | 05:09pm | Sep 15, '11 |
| Last Active: | 05:06pm | Jan 22, '12 |
INTERESTS
| Reading Material: | Comic books, Fiction, Fantasy, Graphic novels, Humor, Mysteries, Poetry, Romance, Sci-fi |
| Movies: | Action, Animated, Anime, Comedy, Drama, Foreign, Historical dramas, Horror, Independent, Musicals, Psychological Thrillers, Romantic Comedies, Science Fiction, Spy/Political Thrillers, Tearjerkers, Teen |
| Art: | Astrology, Body Art, Doodling, Drawing, Clothing design, Graphic Design, Journal Writing, Photography, Singing, Song Writing, Writing |
| Animals/Pets: | Cats, Dogs, Fish, Horses |
| Entertainment and Celebrities: | Movies, Music, Live Music (Concerts), Festivals |
| Video Games: | First person shooter, Fighting, Puzzles, Racing, Role Playing, Simulations, Strategy |
| Lifestyle/Fashion: | Shopping, Fashion, Cosmetics, Haircare, Skincare, Hairstyles, Shoes, Clothing, Accessories, Lingerie, Fragrances |
| Cars: | Audio, Drifting, Imports, Modifications, Offroad, Classics, Motorbikes |
| Music: | Alternative, Blues, Classic Rock, Classical, Death Metal, Drum & Bass, Electronica, Emo, Funk, Garage, Gospel, Goth, Hardcore, Hip-Hop, House, Indie, Industrial, Jazz, Lounge, Metal, New Wave, Pop, Progressive, Punk, R & B, Rap, Reggae, Rock, Ska, Soul, Techno, World, Acoustic, Rave, Merengue, Salsa |
| Sports: | Aerobics, Badminton, Basketball, Body Building, Bowling, Figure Skating, Ice-skating, Paintball, Pilates, Running, Scuba, Skiing, Snorkeling, Surfing, Swimming, Yoga |
| Activities: | Clubbing, Cooking, Drinking, Karaoke, Listening to music, Partying, Reading, Shopping, Traveling, Dancing |
| Musical Instruments: | Acoustic guitar, Bass guitar, Clarinet, Electric Guitar, Piano, Saxophone |
| Outdoor: | Going to the beach, Hiking, Exploring, Sightseeing, Suntanning, Traveling |
| Computers: | Apple, E-mail, Instant Messaging, Surfing the net |
A DEDICATION TO MY AWESOME DAD!!
LATEST BLOG ENTRY
01:56am | Aug 11, '10 | No Comments
Falling for you, was the easiest thing I could ever do.
Why did it have to be, the only thing about you, that just couldn't be completely wonderful?
I didn't mean to, but it wasn't my choice.
So unexpected; I fell so hard.
Why? Why did I fall for you?
You leaving, leaving all this so far behind.
I'll be here without you...
Still always in my mind, you'll be there.
And only in my mind.
You're my best friend, and for that I will not let things fall apart between us.
If this all doesn't work out, then I'd rather we were just friends forever.
I love you to pieces, and will not let myself be the one that ruins our wonderful friendship.
Why did it have to be, the only thing about you, that just couldn't be completely wonderful?
I didn't mean to, but it wasn't my choice.
So unexpected; I fell so hard.
Why? Why did I fall for you?
You leaving, leaving all this so far behind.
I'll be here without you...
Still always in my mind, you'll be there.
And only in my mind.
You're my best friend, and for that I will not let things fall apart between us.
If this all doesn't work out, then I'd rather we were just friends forever.
I love you to pieces, and will not let myself be the one that ruins our wonderful friendship.