"there is no santa claus, there is no magic, and there is no fucking easter bunny. the tooth fairy was your goddamned mom, storks don't deliver babies, pop rocks and coke won't kill you, there is no middle earth, mikey never liked life cereal, you cant get pregnant from kissing, you wont go blind from jerking off, and when jack and jill tumbled down that hill, they was definitely fuckin'."
-tommy lee hooper