New page = )

Its in this wake that I find myself
Losing the will to resume this Hell
When every breath is a dying wish
Its harder to follow the point of this

This broken place that I call my home
Has deepened the sorrow that I have sewn
And I cant erase what is in my heart
I want it to finish before it starts

My own solution insufficient again
No false illusion, this devouring threat
I break the vessel, giving air to its red

And open my fate to the darkened sky

Ive been fading away
Ive been waiting on the call to reach my veins
Ready or not
No attention to waste
Every sorrow of the soul will read my name
When I cease to exist

So now Ive come to the final sleep
I pray that forgiveness is mine to keep
I know its hard to forget this man
Driving the failure into your hands

New page in the making. The very-very slow making lol

Change! Its time for a change! = )

Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
And his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac

Climb, hard or never be seen.
Closed off, rescue to breathe.
Two sided time,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, the pain.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Had to to turn, lay down,
Your sting of disease.
Phase you out, should've seen this coming.
Go on confusing the soul,
Hold my breath 'til you rupture.
Three days aside,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, pride.
Like a leach,
I hold on as if we belonged,
To some precious pure dream.
Cast off, you've seen what's beneath,
Now fail me.

Wierd wierd week.
Did I mention awkard??

Got some new parafinalia

She feels so alone,
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own,
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife,
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life

Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves,
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made...
* * *
No one talks to him about how he lives,
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his,
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves,
And others will follow the choices he’s made,

He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide,
His brother who wants to be him is just nine,
He can do what he wants, because it’s his right,
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life...
* * *
No one talks to him, He doesn’t fit in,
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him,
'Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
'Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like you hate him or want him to die,
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,
Any kindness from you might have saved his life...
* * *
He was the one in class
Who everyday got brutally harassed
This went on for years
Till he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door
And grabbed the .44 out of his father's dresser drawer
He said 'I can't take life no more'
And like that a life can be lost.
* * *
If we make a choice and be the voice
For those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged?
These are just some of the daily scenarios
In which we choose to close our eyes
* * *
So don't keep walking by, not wanting to intervene,
Cause you just want to exist, and never be seen.

Bold the Truths.
I am shorter than 5'4.
I think I'm ugly sometimes.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance at times.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear glasses/contacts.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

FAMILY & HOME LIFE
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday. ???
I've had children.
I've lost a child.

SCHOOL & WORK
I'm in school.
I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I've missed a week or more of school.
I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I've stolen something from my job/school
I've been fired.

EMBARRASSMENT
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've peed from laughing.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I've had my pants rip in public.

HEALTH
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've gotten stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.

TRAVELING
I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Disneyland.
I've been to Mexico.
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.

EXPERIENCES
I've gotten lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy in the balls.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing. cross counttry
I've been in a play.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi
I've been snowboarding.

HONESTY & CRIME
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.

MATERIALISM
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own over 5 rock CDs.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

RANDOM
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don't kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate
I bite my nails.
I play video games
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

...If only I could disappear.