UNTITLED
The cockiest, dirtiest, most irresponsible group of athletes in the world. Will do anything just to be able to tell his teammates a great story in the dressing room. Live the dream until they are 35 then realize they never made it. Ladies love us, guys want to be us, we are the soul of the universe. You lace up the skates, put on the gloves, strap on the helmet, and walk on to the ice and nothing else matters. It doesn't matter that you failed a test, your girl is being a bitch, or that you got a ticket on the way there...you're world is absolutely perfect for the next couple hours.Here's to faceoffs, goals, assists, overtime, living on the road, cold rinks, early mornings, breakaways, going top cheese, countless hours of practice, bag skates, puking, thousands of dollars, dangling d-men, end to end rushes, big hits, broken twigs, new skates, packing bombs, dropping the mits, wheelin' broads, coaches, adding the letter "y" to the end of everyone's last name, the word "fuck", pick up, tape to tape sauce, let downs, miracles and most of all - the game of Hockey. Why? Why do we skate back and forth night after night? Skating so hard we throw up. Skating so hard your heart beat rings in your head, while your lungs are grasping for air. Late nights, early mornings, Friday nights, Saturday evenings, broken bones, torn muscles and deep bruises. We skate through it all. Because we live off our adrenaline, because the game frees your spirit, because the party in the locker room is second to none, because you're invincible once you step on the ice, because one shot can make you smile all night, sniping the twine, backy shelf where momma keeps the peanut butter,the rattling of the boards, the feel of the puck, and skates carving into the ice is a rhythm to live by, because its possible to skate fast enough to leave all your worries behind. Sweat is the cologne of our accomplishment. Why? Why would someone push themselves so hard the uneducated pussies always ask? HOUSE LEAGUE, A, AA, AAA, JR.A, OHL, WHL, US COLLEGE, NHL ... It's never been for the fucking the money, it's not for the girls, and it's not for the fame.??The Boys' play because we fucking love it ... If you are a hockey player and you are proud to be one, pass this shit on with pride mother fucker, and let everyone know the definition of man.
The 15 Hockey Commandments
1. Thou shalt not have no other sports before thee.
2. Thou shalt take the name of the Lord Scotty Bowman, in vain (without fear of getting benched, scratched, or traded).
3. Thou shalt not throw the puck blindly up the middle.
4. Thou shalt not shoot pucks at the goalie's head during warm-ups.
5. Thou shalt honor copenhagen and skoal.
6. Thou shalt honor thy blue line and thy crease.
7. Thou shalt not enter the nuetral zone with thy head down
8. Thou shalt not throw sticks (unless thou wants to hurt thyself or see the rest of thy game from thy locker room).
9. Thou shalt not back down from a fight.
10. Thou shalt not disobey veterans.
11. Thou shalt not take stupid penalties in the third period.
12. Thou shalt drink beer.
13.Thou shalt not root for the maple leafs.
14 Thou shalt take thy man and not thy puck.
15 Thou shalt not lust after broads on the Jumbo Tron unless thy sloots have very large breasts.
You know you're from Alberta when
-The word "vacation" means going to Calgary or Edmonton for the weekend.
-You measure distance in hours.
-You often switch from heat to a/c in the same day.
-You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
-You use a down filled comforter in the summertime.
-Your grandparents drive at 100km/hour through 4 metres of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
-You use windshield washer fluid that has anti-freeze in it, which is good till -45degrees.
-You carry jumper cables in your car, and every passenger, including the kids, know how to use them.
-Your halloween costumes were all designed to fit over a snow suit.
-You prefer driving in the winter because all the pot-holes are filled.
-You are well aquainted with the four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
-Gopher = Speed Bump
-Coyotes arent cute, cuddly puppies or ferocious beasts, they are target practice.
-You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka or big heavy coat, ski pants, a toque, a scarf, two pairs of mittens, three pairs of socks, boots past your knees and three feet of snow, in a -35degree blizzard (which is -8000 with the windchill), your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose wont stop running, you cant feel your toes, the parts of your face that arent covered feel like they might fall off, and you still go down to the gas station to get a Slurpee on your way home from the ski hill.
-You understand all these jokes and are nodding your head right now.
Imported Pictures