I like experience you gain more and more as you go. This is why I do not regret anything. Anyone I have dated, anyone I have hurt or who has hurt me. I have learned from each experience how not to be and what not to take. What friends to keep close to me, which friends to push away because they are not worth my time. life is definatly a learning experience but in the end i do truly believe it is all building up to a purpose. I will be happy and satisfied in the end, I will eventually have what i want and need and that comforts me everytime something terrible happens. Just analyze figure out what you can do better and do it next time. Start, fail, learn, repeat, only with more knowledge of the situation. Do I sound crazy or am I hitting the spot right here. Just let me know cuz id like to know if anyone thinks the same.

Iv kinda decided not to date for a long time
so what should i do about this one guy
he is slowly amazing me and its not fair
Chayd why do you fuck with me
even after i say your not getting anything
god im confused haha
who knows maybe in the end you'll get a chance<3

so today i yelled at tannis.. burst out in tears like 5 or 6 times in the middle of school and still somehow hid it.. scream at my mother in the school parking lot. told my dad to shut the fuck up and not talk to me. and Bursted out at kyra telling her everything that bugs me about her....and then went home and burst out even more and ended up doing something i never in a million years though i would ever do!!! what the fuck is wrong with me today!

which is worse? saying everything you can and letting all of your feelings about and for a person out and ruining everything? or holding them all in and wondering what could have been? so far for me its letting them out so i like to hold what i feel in and it makes me have random bursts of sadness its really messed up

woot!!! Shanes coming over and me carolyn colter and shane might go to a party that is if colter wants to go.. hahaha otherwise carolyn wants to hangout with colter and colter might bring shane here.. if he doesnt end up doing so hopefully shane will find another ride here and hangout with me... he most likely will be able to to

WAYNES WORLD WAYNES WORLD PARTY TIME EXCELLENCE

Probably going to Bower tomorrow and having a blast with my Mannis the Tannis:p hahahaha

50 SECRETS
Be honest no matter what!


[ONE] Has anyone told you "Forever and ever" then left?
yea basically

[TWO] Your relationship status?
single

[THREE] Whats there name?
um im not saying

[FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend?
yea quite a few

[FIVE] Do you smoke weed regularly?
Not often but once in a while

[SIX] Think back to the beginning of 2009, are you still dating the same person?
Im not dating anyone

[SEVEN] would you parents be mad if you was in a relationship?
not really no

[EIGHT] When was the last time you really laughed?
me and kyra wrestling in the middle of social today.

[NINE] Somethings wrong, first guy you turn too?
Honestly Either Ryan Morgan TJ or Jjarred

[TEN] First girl you'd go to?
Kyra, Carolyn, Kailey, Shelby or Samm cuz she gives good advice.

[ELEVEN] Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you did?
um probably just cant think of anyone right now... haha arlie doesnt like me cuz i said is was descusting that he touched kyra today and she ended up using hand sanitizer on her arm

[TWELVE] Angry at anyone?
slightly

[THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
Well one of them lives a ways away, the other one does to, and that other one doesnt like me!

[FOURTEEN] When was the last time you cried really hard?
um probably 3 days ago

[FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Morgan & i would try to for carolyn or Kyra
[SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to for more than 10 mins on the phone?
It was Carolyn
[EIGHTEEN] What is your favorite song?
hahaha i dont know i like alot of music


[NINETEEN] Do you like Red Bull?
hell yes

[TWENTY] How many people can you tell just about everything to?
If you are actually my friend i can tell you almost anything unless its a bit awkward... most girls i can.. i can tell anything at all to Ryan thats for sure

[TWENTY-ONE] ever wished on a shooting star?
Um yea everytime i see one which is rare but it never comes true...

[TWENTY-TWO] Does the last person you held hands with mean something?
Um the last two people i held there hands for about 7 seconds... and it ment nothin... hahaha me and carolyn were acting seductive in bio and i held her hand and the other person was Jjarred and his hands were freezing literally icicles so i tried to warm them up
[TWENTY-FOUR] Describe yourself in one word?
FUCKED

[TWENTY-FIVE] Do you have anything that belongs to your ex?
a couple things he gave me that i dont want

[TWENTY SIX] Can you honestly say you've had a sleepover with the opposite fuck yes obviously one of my friends from the opposite gender lives with me... and last guy i had over just over.. was morgan

[TWENTY-EIGHT] Ever been cheated on?
yep dont wanna talk about it

[TWENTY-NINE] What would you do if you found out the person you like was in a relationship?
naturally i would probably be sad.. and just not like anyone for a long time again

[THIRTY] Do you act differently around the person you like?
um not really but im more careful of what i do and say so i dont look like a complete idiot

[THIRTY-ONE] Honestly, what girl's number do you have memorized?
Every single friends number i know actually i am really good with numbers

[THIRTY-TWO] Is it hard to make you laugh?
i laugh alll the time really easily

[THIRTY-THREE] Who was the last person to make you mad?
im not gonna give names

[THIRTY-FOUR] Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you?
ahahaha not with me but do things most likely... knowing him

[THIRTY-FIVE] has anyone fallen asleep in your arms?
i love falling asleep in peoples arms then i feel safe and happy but yea they decide they are going to fall asleep in my arms instead

[THIRTY-SIX] Has anyone ever called you "delicious" before?
hahaha a few times

[THIRTY-SEVEN] Would you like to put a night on repeat, and live it forever?
i have a list of nights that i absolutly love most of them are when i was drunk thats the sad thing... it sucks people act so different

[THIRTY-EIGHT] Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?
hahaha um yes

[THIRTY-NINE] Is your best friend a slut?
Which one? um no not really one of them likes the same things i like but one of them hasnt had sex and another is kinda and another isn't and another just likes sex but isnt a slut

[FORTY] Is hard drugs a turn off?
um not completely depends on how they act on them

[FORTY-ONE] Are you happy with life right now?
definatly not

[FORTY-THREE] Are you still in love with your ex?
um no not really i didnt love the last person i dated

[FORTY-FOUR] Is Luke Salty Richardson a retard?
um i have a better question... is he salty?

[FORTY-FIVE] Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes, i kinda ended up in a mode were i would just stare at a wall and not eat... it was pretty bad there was more to

[FORTY-SIX] Have you ever broken someone's heart?
i doubt it i couldnt hurt someone that much

[FORTY-SEVEN] Is there anybody you're really disappointed in?
yes

[FORTY-EIGHT] Where is your best friend?
somewhere

[FORTY-NINE] will you get a phone call tonight ?
probably not

[FIFTY] How is your heart lately?
um not that great

Would you

1. Go out with me?
2. Give me your number?
3. Kiss me?
4. Let me kiss you?
5. Watch a movie with me?
6. Let me take you out to dinner?
7. Let me drive you somewhere?
8. Take a shower with me?
9. Be my bf/gf?
10. Have a fling with me?
11. Let me buy you a drink?
12. Take me home for the night?
13. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
14. Sing car karaoke w/ me?
15. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
16. Give me a piggyback ride?
17. Come pick me up at 3AM because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
18. Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
19. Lick my cheek?
20. Dance with me?
21. Let me make you breakfast?
22. Help me with homework?
23. Tickle me to death?
24. Let me tickle you?
25. Stick up for me if i was being put down?
26. Play strip poker with me?
27. Say yes if i asked you out?
28. Get wasted with me?
29. Instant message me?
30. Greet me in public?
31. Hang out with me?
32. Bring me around your friends?

You rise and fall
Back up against the wall
What goes around is coming back and haunting you
It's time to quit
Cause you ain't worth the shit
Under my shoes or the piss on the ground

No one loves you and you know it
Don't pretend that you enjoy it or you don't care
Cause now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want
to hear.
cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you

I heard your sick
Sucked on that cancer stick
A throbbing tumor and a radiation high
Shit out of luck
And now your time is up
It brings me pleasure just to know your going to die

No one loves you and you know it
Don't pretend that you enjoy it or you don't care
Cause now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want
to hear.
cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you

Dickhead, Fuckface, cock-smoking, mother-fucking, asshole, dirty twat, waste of semen, I hope you die, HEY!

Red eye, code blue
I'd like to strangle you
And watch your eyes bulge right out of your skull
When you go down
Head first into the ground
I'll stand above you just to piss on your grave

No one loves you and you know it
Don't pretend that you enjoy it or you don't care
Cause now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want
to hear.
cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you, cuz i hate you[/color]

dont you hate it when you wake up from a dream you wish with all your heart was real and would come true.. but then it never does. When you would kill yourself just for it to happen one last time and die happy knowing it did... that would rock my fucking socks off.. i wish my dream would come true