MybriefExposition on LOVE


Okay, before I even begin, I really want you all to just forget you are actually in a
body, or a human, or using your eyes to read. This subject is too complicated
for me to grasp with all these foolish distractions, so I just want you to read this
all, ponder it , perhaps, and then reflect, if in some way I have affected your
outlook.



What is love? I ponder this question quite a bit, due to how ambiguous
everyone the dispute about whether it exists or not is. Some people say “well
anyone can love, love is when you and another person hold hands and kiss”, or
on the polar opposite of the ‘believers’ there is the ‘intellectual’ group who says
“I refuse to love at this period in my life, as it doesn’t exist”. I won’t try to prove
either of these group wrong, as they are, in a really abstract sense, both correct.
And, in my eyes, both incorrect.



It seems, at the ‘teenager’ level (silly hormone-driven pubescent zombies), age
is a big factor. It’s peoples excuse to not allow an emotion to exist. The mature
people, whom I have grow a deep distaste for, as they are try much too hard to
grow up, and become worldly, believe that ‘teenagers can’t love’. Well, in some
ways, I agree. See, during these years, we have so many emotions running
through each and every one of us; Angst, strife, anger, happiness, lust. We
know not what exactly what we are thinking, and tend to exaggerate. Let’s say,
for example, that a girl’s family decides to make sardine soup. The girl boldly
states “I HATE THAT!”, when in all actuality, she merely dislikes it. We all
exaggerate our emotions, and it has grown into a pandemic of sorts. You
cannot hate clothes, fashion, or anything of that material spectrum, unless you
are so utterly attached to it that the emotion is somehow that powerful. You are
more likely to just dislike it, or an emotion of less potent force, but really, the
only things people should hate are other people. Even then, you should try to
examine “why do I hate this person, what makes them so special”. Again, you
most likely just dislike them, as hate is to harsh of an emotion. Teenagers, and
humans in general, exaggerate these emotions excessively, so this is why the
question of “why do I feel this way” is pantomime to love.



Due to the fact that love has no universal definition, and there are many types of
love, one mustn’t just detach themselves from the emotion so simply and
violently. It is an emotion that we all are capable of experiencing, at any age, so
we just have to let it grow, along with our open-ness to the wisdom it can
provide. If you tell yourself that “you cannot love, because teenagers don’t
understand love and are too young ‘at this age’”, then you are just being
fallacious. Every human sees love in a different way, because love cannot be
defined simply, unless you follow what society says is the ‘norm’. One should
just allow themselves to love people in different ways, whether romantic,
sexual, platonic or another form, at any age. Perhaps, when you are four, you
love your lego more that anything, when you are 14, perhaps you have found
someone to ‘love’, in a 14-year-old-way. If you deject yourself from something,
how will you know when you are “mature enough” or if you are at the “right age”.
What is the right age? Who presented the magic number, and told us that only
adults can truly understand ‘love’. Everybody can love; it’s an abstract concept,
so I don’t see why one must try to forcefully deter themselves from experiencing
it.

Although, when it comes to this “deter-ing”, I am semi-hypocritical. I personally
won’t be romantic with most/any people, unless I can first experience a platonic
love, or just a unique and abstract form of love. For the most part, it is rare that
someone, if attracted to you in the sexual/romantic, will want to ‘just be friends
and see what happens’. It’s more likely they will want their breath taken, the
perfect crime committed, and in the end, a most definite disaster. Why is it that
these “jump-into-romance” relationships always end in a cataclysm?


I think it’s because once you are “romantic”, you should just stay as if you are
best friends + a bit more. Generally, we take on the title of ‘boyfriend and
girlfriend” because we get the endearment. You fall in love with the body, the
compliments, the kissing, making out, and more. As you get to know the person
for who they truly are, they become less and less attractive, and eventually, you
realize that you had made a mistake, and then there is a break up. I don’t
believe in that kind of insane jump, personally. I accept that Love is a reality,
and I just let it live inside of me, like all emotions, without restricting anything,
but I don’t just fall in love with people I don’t know. As I learn more about a
person, and their flaws/perfections become more apparent, I will either grow
more attached to them, or nothing will happen, because there isn’t a
connection (chemistry, for you romantics).

Love is fluid. In the ideal relationship, it starts as just a small trickle, then, as
new paths form, and new information is gathered, the trickle becomes a
stream, the stream into a tributary, then river, then it flows into a pond, then to a
lake, then to the ocean. There should be a slow progression, of getting to know
a person, and loving all the quirks and bends in the person, having the person
requite the love back, and then have that connection when from somewhere in
another vast ocean, you collide in friendship/romance/something else.


So perhaps, one should just accept the fact that love exists, and let it grow on
you, and stop trying to point out how ‘mature you are’. Likewise, you people who
are in love needn’t publically announce it to the world; it’s your love and your
love alone, so keep it that way. We don’t care to feel worse than you, because
we don’t have anyone in the same way as you. Perhaps we have a different
love, and perhaps our love is so much more than anything you can ever
comprehend, we won’t say anything, that’s vain, selfish, and just rude. Live
everyday as positively, and wisely as you can muster. Have fun with life, let
yourself experience things, and don’t sanction an idea, because you are “too
good for it”. Most likely, you are not.

--------



My beliefs on the subject of love is perplexing, even to me. I believe in love, or at
least, I believe the emotion exists, and I allow myself to love different things in
different ways. I look for true beauty because I want someone who doesn’t just
look at me on a bad day and say “hmm, I changed my mind about you; our
love/friendship is over, because your looks appall me”. Now most of the people
I have met, have been very considerate, and my personality has swayed them,
but in the end, I have only found 2 people who I believe I really, deeply love,
more that just a friend love. These people have very headstrong attitudes, are
willing to bring me back down to earth, and are willing to share an opinion.
There is an uncanny connection, that due to my eccentric disposition, I rarely
find. It just seems that in a growing marketplace for advice and facts, it’s the
ones who look into it, look at everything and discuss, and remain generally
un-biased (unless there is a case such as godhatesfags.com , retain an
intellectual bias, and try to tolerate their… difference).


Perhaps Love is similar to Hate, in that it can describe many different things,
from something small like “ I love this shirt (perhaps its your favourite, because
of sentimental value), to some complex relationship indescribable with mere
words, and would require humans to develop further, intellectually. We
shouldn’t sanction the possibility of Love in its immaterial, essential form, from
existing, because it does exist, in the abstract. The more we tell ourselves we
don’t want it, the more cynical and bitter we will get. I have grown to believing
that maturity isn’t based on how many things you believe you are right about, or
how often you prove that you are correct, and everyone else is “shallow”.
Maturity, in my eyes, is a state that reflects ones decision to live their life for
themselves, experience as much as possible, and reflect on things in a logical
manner. Who’s to say something is stupid, when they have never tried it, or
have never let themselves discover the full extent of something. All you bitter
people who say “I refuse to love as a teen, it only ends in heart break” should
reflect upon what you believe love is. It’s different for each and ever person.


----

The most common thing people have begun to say to me lately was “you are
cute”, and while that is flattering, I find it to be a pitiful outcome of what our
media has done to us as a once thoughtful race (hello Plato, Socrates, Poe,
and the like). All the people on TV may be hot and sexy, as they are presented to
be that way, but it seems the ones who are actually good at what they do, and
take pride in what they do, are the ones who are beautiful. Beauty isn’t
something one possess with flawless skin, nice teeth, or anything of that
nature, beauty is in the realm of intellect. When someone is beautiful, it’s clear
to see, because they possess certain characteristics in their disputation that are
astounding and beautiful, to a state of uncanny brilliance. Perhaps they
possess humour, not silly jokes from MTV,mind you, but there own. Maybe they
have Wit and Opinion, intellect, courage, empathy. Hopefully, you find positive
attributes beautiful, and not things such as Ignorance, Vanity, Egocentricity, etc.
A commonly used cliché is “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” (I use it on
occasion myself), and I find it to be both wonderful and terrible in what it states.
Each individual has specific character traits they find to be Beautiful, but when
they start basing it upon looks solely, then that is when you have a problem. Or,
if you say that” wealth is important”, there is something gravely wrong. I find that
to be the most vain, egocentric statement ever. Beauty isn’t how much
make-up you put on, if you are wearing the hottest clothes, how nice you hair is.
Being beautiful requires time and effort, but in the way of discovering who you
are, what you love, and following the beating of your own drum. I generally find
that there are many beautiful people in this world, but compared to everyone
else, there is a dramatic lack of beauty.


In conclusion, to be beautiful, one must just accept themselves, and love
themselves, forge their own path, no matter what repercussion there are. Love
how you live, and live how you would love to. Perhaps then we can expand upon
the concept of love. Love loving True Beauty. What a truly beautiful concept.




------------------------

Please comment ^ w ^

This is the only thing in my blog i havent created on my own, but i feel it
deserves recognition for its utter amazing-osity!



__________________

Television

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

What is there to be proud of? What do humans have that is worth having pride
over. Our “accomplishments”? What good are they, other than to provoke
self-admonishing happiness. Why be proud of being gay, what good will that
do you. The gay stereotype is quite sickening to me, but so is the straight,
hetero stereotype. We have all these groups and ‘lifestyles’, but what good do
they do us.

Why give away your freedom, to fit in. normal is what is social acceptable, so
why do we over-use the word normal, it’s so incorrect. The more socially
acceptable you are, it is as if you become less human, as if you have “sold your
soul” to the capitalist dogma we live in.

and as for our misconception on Beauty, and constantly saying “ oh baby, you
are so gorgeous”. Oh please, Beauty isn’t this buxom blonde, strutting her tight
body, big tits, tight pussy around like the dipshit bimbo that she is. Like-wise,
beauty isn’t a Vain and egocentric male, caring about his wealth and how hot
he looks, what material positions he has, or how nice his girl is in bed. Get over
yourselves people, I try to be critical about things that seem so absurdly
ridiculous and ‘socially correct’, that my brain wants to suffocate itself. I am
open-minded, but its not so open that It will float away, I am only open to things
that I have good reason to be so for. Why discriminate someone’s race, sexual
preference, gender, body? What sort of gratification do you get from that sort of
business?

True, violent actions can give pseudo-happiness, for a short period of time, but
in the end, being so vile for no reason gets you no where. Will your friends love
you more? Will your beau think you are ‘dangerous and sexy”? I really hope so. I
hope you have so many friends, so much sex, so much FUN, that you hate
yourself for it. I hope you can never grasp a minuscule concept, or have even
the minute capacity to comprehend anything non-tangible.

It just seems, in our present days, all the fallacies of our world, the apparent
conspiracies, the controlling governments, the NEED for revolution, people are
becoming more and more brain-dead.
We are being filled with facts (12 years of them), and we are presented them in
a way so we despise it. We are drowned with so much potent information, with
the ENTERTAINMENT, and MEDIA, slamming our faces and our brains with so
much bright, colour, or extreme sadness, we are beginning to become robotic.
We are abusing substances, drinking, to get that feel good, because our
families are driving us up the wall, our friends are pressuring to ‘be cool’


let yourself have the ability to free your mind, criticize, but let yourself be wrong.
Its cliché, but you can only learn from your mistakes, the more mistakes you
make, then, the more you learn. As for you people who ridicule others mistakes,
just don’t, it hurts people. Sure, laugh a little, but help the person, cherish the
person.

Because, no matter what job, age, IQ, house, you have, we are all human. And
we are all equal.

I was feeling tremendously angry before i wrote this, and it was going to be a bit
more, fiery, but i just listened to the sound of jell-o jiggling, and somehow it
made me a bit more amiable.

----------------------------
How can i describe my emotions right now? Apathy, melancholy, depression?
bah, who cares.

What i crave, crave most in the world, desire with a sickening passion, is simply
Love. I don't mean "friend love" , "romance love", "family love (<-- that's a laugh,
and a half)", i just mean love. Love in its fluidity, without boundaries, without
fences, without rituals, just love. Does that mean two people holding hands and
kissing is "romance"? No, thats just a ritual performed commonly by couples. i
just want someone who doesnt care about " what are we called now", but
merely cares that i exist. Someone who will feel for me with an equanimity that i
feel for them.

I want someone who i can talk to for hours, someone who is as wordy and
verbose as i tend to be. Someone who knows me not just because i am
random and spontaneous, but because i like to talk about things. Nothing in
particular, just stuff, and have long, meaningful conversations. Or, long,
meaningless conversations. Someone who i could love would give me their
opinion, but not force me to create most of it with my imagination, but talk it all
out. explain upon every minuscule detail, so i can know their point of view, not
the point of view i must presume they have.


By the way, people who assume i am this bubbly, happy go lucky, spunk-filled
ball of humor and mirth are wrong. Yes, that is part of me, but that just the
surface. You'd be wrong to just assume i am that in which i am not, for thought it
would be easier, thats not me.


carrying on with my pitiful emotion-fest, now . I want someone who i can sit
under the stars with, and cuddle with, just because. Someone who i can dress
in bright orange ( or w.e neon color) jumpsuits and run down the street
screaming " WE ARE FECAL MATTER DEPOSITS, SUCK IT!". Someone who i
can be boring with, and discuss books, having conversations about the
metaphysical, and the peculiar. Someone who doesn't say "that's weird", but
just accepts it. Why are things gross to us, anyways?


I believe "love at first site" could exist, but not in the sense of " ok bitch, we're in
love now, let us fuck". love as just this impossible to describe thing.


Again, some of you will say " But Brad, silly boy, you are too Mature for this "love"
business, it goes against the morals in which you state to us so adamantly".


Firstly, i believe to be mature, you shouldn't suppress your emotions, but accept
that they exist, in a rational state. You must let yourself feel empathy,
compassion and love, to mature, but you needn't state such foolish things as "
you take my breath away" or "run away with me". Thats Fake, its generic. Sure,
the other person will be " awee, you are so cute! i love you, baby!", but that's
despicable. You shouldn't need to candy-coat yourself, change how you talk,
etc, to have someone love you.


its really sad though, that because of this detrimental attitude, i am always "the
friend". Sure, i have had my lack-luster experience in dating, and tis not
necessarily my thing. I understand that the people i meet now may not
nessesarily be the people i will know/like in a few years, but that shouldn't stop
me. Sadly, people come to me with their beau, expecting me to be " awe, you're
so cute", but instead, i give them the blunt, and bitter truth. Me:" this is going to
end in sadness, don't come crying to me because he broke your heart, owell.
you're so teenage", blah blah blah.

Some of you are teenage, and stupid. You are stuck so far up your own asses
with " i cant be that way" , " i disagree" (without explanation), or anything like that.
You people think you understand the world, but in fact, no one understand it,
especially at our age. You don't love him, you wont marry him, go home. Learn
to play Battleship, like the cool kids. psha, stupid Teenagers


essentially, i am bitter, because i really do care about most people. the flaws i
find in them are simplistic like " they don't talk enough" or "they aren't interested
in the same things as me". I Care tremendously for humans as a whole. I just
wish the people i care most about, actually care about me.


Who gives a Fuck what people say if we make out somewhere? Does that
make me "straight/gay" , does that make us "dating"? absolutely not. That
makes us two people, kissing passionately somewhere. period. what if we
were to sit on a table, singing show tunes? what does that make us? figure it
out.


Basically, i just want openness, someone to hold, and not care. To feel Love,
but not have to dictate its existence. The more you state something, the more
you are obligated to fill its shoes.

*****
EDIT//(cuz i didnt want to make a new blog)

Why is it that i am always alone at night. everyone has all these friends and
sleepovers and shit, but i am stuck at home, wishing i was more that just a
'friend'. i want someone to throw spaghetti at, push off a bed, "sing to the
stars"with, cuddle with, kiss, sleepover with. How come i don't get someone like
that (not necessarily a friend, per say, but just, another Human)

---------



---------


_________
Once again, i am all talk, no action.

and wow, i need to write less XD.

Just so this is clear, this makes no sense, even to me, i just wrote it on paper
randomly, without paying attentions aha.

_________________________________________

There was Nothing. Never was anything existent, save for Nothing. Then
something changed, a cataclysm occurred, and a new entity arose - Thought. It
expanded and contracted in on itself, stabbing at the Nothing with a Malevolent
logic, trying to disfigure the Nothing. This Thought grew more powerful with
every lunge, and soon it spilled over the Nothing, suffocating it until it made
sense. Now, there was nothing left of the Nothing - its tranquil, Utopian
existence was no more. Thought had raped the subtle beauty of Nothing, and
created Something. There was now content, and the content filled every region
of the Place with Something - Now came to be Everything. Everything was much
too powerful for the feebleness of Thought, and slowly thought shrunk back to
its minuscule origins, its strength diminished to the ability at useless stabs at
the Everything. It jabbed at whatever it could, absorbing it, trying to obtain
dominion over the lands in which it created, but it had only scattered pieces of
the puzzle. It had to make a whole out of nothing, so it made a drastic decision.
It asexually reproduced. Its offspring, the hideous and ghastly Opinion. It knew
only what its parent, Thought, told it, and from that it eccentrically threw itself at
other Opinions. They knew only a piece of the puzzle, and their Thoughts craved
the sustenance of Omniscient power, so they networked. They fused together,
content with content, logic with logic, until eventually they created a massive
entity of seemingly amazing intelligence. Yet, they created the ideas, then lost
them. They made the logic, so how can it be logical. The knew everything, yet
what they should have really studied was Nothing. Nothing was peaceful,
blissful, dare i say, happy, until humans tore it apart savagely with their "logic"
and "content".

This is what i am like when i rant. its really disjointed, but whatever.
***********************************************


I am just really like frustrated and angry and apathetic and i lack the care for so
many people. I fail horribly at using my life. I want to live life to the fullest, but
right now, i am running on empty. I am confined to this house, because there is
nothing i can do on my own. i can be independent, but right now, i have nothing.
I am running like a mindless robot, being a loser, as everyone else is running
about,having these wonderful times, and i just sit here and weep to myself how
i cant be like that. I am just that ignoramic fool who has nothing outside of
school. I want to do stuff, but it always comes back to these situations.
someone is too lazy( my parents, usually) and they instead get my other
siblings stuff, like hockey camps. I envy how easy people have it. I envy their
petty little problems.

--

I mean, in essence, humans are fools. We party, have fun, drink and do drugs,
and do stupid, pointless nonsense. And for what? We get to have all these
'friends' and connections. we build these social networks, and we feel
important. Quantity suddenly overthrows Quality. True, some may have
qualities that are endearing, but I can't comprehend how people communicate
with each other.

How am i supposed to change who the fuck i am. I don't introduce myself, i go
up to someone and shove glitter in there face, or i state some pseudo-profound
thing, in a futile attempt to have a "mature" conversation. I am more mature
than more teenagers, it's a statement that i can bluntly state as the truth, but its
that maturity that is destroying me. I cant change it though, it is who i am. Yes, i
have that explosive side to me, that is me too, but who i truly am doesn't work
with the work. I accept the worlds flaws, my flaws, my "rationally-emotionfilled"
logic, and i embrace it.

To say i want the world to change would be a gross understatement. But wants
and needs are different, and the wanting for change is scarce. People love the
parties, the sex, the romance, and media, it consumes us, entertains us, gives
us stuff to talk about- socialize with- but that doesn't make it right. WE are filled
with "this is what is hot/ this is what is attractive" we follow the fads, trying our
best not to look completely out of place."do i have anything on my face?", " i
broke a nail, damnit.", etcetera and so forth. WE learn that beauty is how nice
your eyes are, how plump your lips are, how ripped you are. " I only date guys
with nice eyes". Some say that the eyes are a door to the soul, but every door is
different. They still serve the same purpose, no matter what. We , unknownly,
learn to discriminate, and its the real sheep who do this. These sheep tend to
be those jocks, those girls, those nerds, those cliques, and its the people we
see as 'shy' that somehow end up being less-sheepish then all.



what makes us conform? does does non-conforming mean? YOu shouldn't
strive to be different, that in it self is destructive, just be yourself. love yourself.
show the world that you are not afraid to fart, sneeze, burp. What the hell is
etiquette good for, other than to give off a sense of "perfection". Could you see
Martha Stewart straining herself in diarrhea, or the Queen of England.
The proper way to place your forks and knife are so trivial,
its hard to comprehend how people do it. then i realize they too are sheepish.


So who is the alpha Sheep? the Pack leader? Well, no one, yet everyone. We
control everyone and no one. It is this paradox that seems astounding to me.
We love to blame someone, put a face to the name, and get the attention off of
ourselves, or get more attention by doing something people consider "funny".
Laughter is a wonderful thing, but at the cost of someone else, its despicable.
We feed the sheep, we are the Alpha male, and we are the mousy little
accountants who sit at their desks all day, fearing "The Man". Stick it to the man,
for god sakes! You are your own person. Why live in fear of someone else. Did
they threaten you, if so why? were they hungry for power, do they believe they are
supreme. what makes them supreme? are they beautiful, book smart, play
sports, tell jokes? What gives anyone the right to ac the way they do, hurt
people, or make them laugh. We need to learn to stick it to ourselves, before we
blame anyone else.


I need to learn so much. I can't ever feel self-righteous, or better than anyone,
because i am not. i am only better than those who make it their goal to show
me that i am not so. Better than that guy who trips me in the halls, better than
the people who laugh as i drop my books, better than the people who tell
secrets behind me back. I am equal to those who are equal to me. I am human,
I am an organism born to feed off the live of other organisms, in a futile attempt
to make his life FEEL like it makes sense. I mass consume useless things,
search for my passions, as there are animals being killed to feed me. WE are
savage, we are sick, we are worthless, and i completely accept that. No one is
better than the other, we are all sheep, we are all the man, we are all everything
and nothing, we label, classify, live, die, eat some pie. I never what to know the
answer of life, because it is the unknown that drives me to selfishly pursue my
goals. Once i know the answer, why continue on? I accept the dirty truth of it all,
and embrace it whole-heartedly.

-----------------

I will still continue on the same as i always have, living the same discrepant life
that i always will have, pursues my interests, following my dreams, keeping an
optimistic, yet realistic, outlook on it all. Life is a riddle, the words we pursue
are meaningless, and as long as well keep dreaming about being a scientist,
actor, musician, we will never find the answer. Thank the higher forces for that!

I walk through your flashy store called Society, gazing at all the fanciful
thing-um-whats, and whimsical media Godzillas, minding my own business,
when i am bombarded with a maelstrom of mindless blubbering. Good God,
what is it good for?

Take, for example, my peaceful excursion to the bakery section of Our Social
Supermarket, I am confronted by Narcissus himself. In all of his muscular,
sport jock, straight-and-narrow egotisticallities, all he has to say is ridiculous
saying that supposedly offend me. I don't attempt to make him agree with who i
am, but his lack of tolerance is appalling - people such as this make us worse
than the 'animals' that we hunt for sustenance. So i pose to you a question: are
the other inhabitance of our earth the animals, or are we, as a superficial
power-hungry organism, who seek to 'better themselves' at the cost of everyone
else, the true animals?

We dislike differences in others, as if it is pertinent to our survival, and we will
do whatever we can to get attention. Hell, writing these blogs is , in essence,
just another way to gain a following. Our fear-mongering, war, feuding, peace,
vegan, meat-eating, fast food, tree hugging, preppy, emo, GLBT and
heterosexualism, are the reason humans are foul beasts. We constrain our
beliefs to labeled sectors, to fit in and make the world make sense. We
over-dramatize our world, hoping for pity and attention. we date people, hug,
kiss, have sex, yet don't know the true value of any of it. We thrive on the
pleasures in life, and throw aside thought, as it is too melancholic for us. The
goal is to be Happy, and to fit into the community in our own particular niche.
The governments and media want us to hate on a certain community, its no
conspiracy, its just humor.

I don't expect people to change, i follow society in my own little way, I just want
the attention that you gave me by reading this, and the fact that you are aware
that petty things in our day to day lives are unimportant. Ideally, humans will evolve
as a society to be a bit more understanding, and less self-centered and
greedy. Be proud of who you are, whoever you believe you are, but keep it to yourself.
"I am" is just another way for you to get attention, and fit into a certain clique.

-------------------------------
Don't label me pretentious, just label me human, if you must.

They were Swift; quick like an eagle in flight,yet supernatural in disposition. Fear
was their friend, as it shook their prey in ripples of dark quakes. It was not as if
they were cruel, for that would be a biased presumption, they merely needed to
survive, and hunting the warbling tea tree was the only way to do so.

This fiend, which i shall address ever so boldly as a Japan-Obsessive, North
American Chupacabra (Jonac, in short), is a self-proclaimed Kawaii neko, in
love with anything that is flung from that wondrous island country. From Anime
to Manga, J-pop to Ninjas, Jonacs consume the delectably delicious delicacy of
J-twinkies as if the apocalypse was upon us. Before my soul was captured by
one of the lil' devils, and my mind thoroughly assimilated to the ways of a gaijin
'egg', I was a "dirty, revolting conformist", but now that I worship Japanese
media, I am anything but a conformist. Now I know that i am uniquely different,
and now that no one understands me, i am utterly content with myself - this
content feeling is a benefit of doing things the J.O.N.A.C way.


So, come with us, sign a little contract, its nothing really : give us your soul, and
we equip you with a bedazzled kimono, My neighbor Totoro, and a BRAND
NEW , KAWAII SOUL, that has a fuzzy, hello kitty phosphorescent glow. Nom
nom nom, delicious.



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now i am off to shower, as my skin is oily with sarcasm, hopefully that was was
an elephant in the room, though.