-I love horses, but I love wolves a bit more.
-I'm really skinny, but it's only because I forget to eat, not because i have an eating disorder.
-I want to go live in Ireland
-My favorite male actor is James McAvoy
-I feel like I'm the therapist in my group of friends
-My mommy and daddy are divorced.
-I had a terrible sense of fashion until grade 10.
-I love all my scarves, my perfumes, and my technology
-I am a computer nerd. Yes I play computer and video games. All day.
-I'm addicted to horseisle and all the people who play it and love me =D
-I'm still a virgin
-I hate chatspeak, but I used it for a day when I was getting used to my iTouch
-I don't like alchohal, but I drink it here and there.
-I love salt. I'm addicted to it.
-Yes, I now own an iTouch.
-I hate it when people say to when they're supposed to say too.
-I write novels, but I've only ever finished one.
-I love planning novels more then writing them.
-I'm usually on msn all day.
-I own two horses, and I love them both.
-I love my best friends NayNay, Joc and Mike.
-I have a wittle crush on someone...
-I don't go for looks in guys, I go for personality.
-I often use wiki to search up big words I don't know.
-I have a colorful bulb in my lamp right now.
-I have a rat named Numero Deux (Nume for short) and she loves me muchly.
-I want to see a therapist just so I can prove to my parents that I don't need one.
-I love the sound of some of words like cobble, and snuggle.
-I sometimes feel like a cat.
-I like to speed when driving.
-I love to watch the ocean but I'm terrified to swim in it.
-My ribs are malformed.
-Yes, I love in the crack appartments. But I'm not a crack whore.
-I hate it when people lie to me.
-I have a pet peeve, but I can't remember what it is.
-I am very very shy.
-I will wait for a relationship to fall into my lap, because it is the ones who try the hardest that are worth it.
-I have a deep fear of forests (Hylophobia)

I think I'm lost.
Broken and shattered.
Wounded.
I realize it.
And I am lost.

It's as if every reason for my existance points to love.
The only reason I'm still walking is because of the need rushing through my being.
Every second lived without love is agony.
The moment my mind even begins to consider that love does not exist,
My body shuts down and decides it won't work for me.
Denial.
No ordinary can have me.
No, those who try for me,
Will be disappointed by what they find.
And empty lifeless shell,
Hoping for some escape.
But when I find someone.
Should I call them lucky that they can have a chance for something...
Someone,
That no one else has?
No, lucky is not it,
For I don't feel very lucky that I am alive.
Somehow something seems to be intent
On keeping me here.
Am I suffering?
Without love I believe that yes, I am suffering.
I have yet to find him.
The man who will haunt, or maybe bless my dreams for the rest of eternity.
That is who I am waiting for.
No one understands me.
And I don't think anyone ever will understand me.
The way I am is familiar only to myself.
Everyone else finds it confusing and bewildering.
But I like my mask.
It makes me feel safe.
This is who I am, always changing, always shifting.
But for now, this is good for me.
Until I find that one person who obliterates all coherant thoughts in my head.
Who makes me wonder how I went on before without him.
This is me.

So school has started again.
I thought I was quite excited for it,
but then the day came,
the excitement passed...
I have some good classes this symmester,
and maybe a few bad ones.

The sad thing is,
I can now move to Abby whenever I want.
I say I want to go to Yale,
and to Yale I shall go.
But the only reason I would do that
would be because I'm having problems.
I don't want to run away from my problems.
But that is exactly what I would be doing
And I most assuredly don't want to abandon my friends!
The pressure is on I suppose.
Big decisions to make,
Lots of changes.
But I know one thing stops me from leaving.
It's not fair.
I'm too weak

yay for a

I'm bored


Cats I have and have had (that I remember):

Link
Tanner
Beauty
Scrat
Spat
Lucky (I miss you fatty )
Spook
Budweiser
Lynxee


Horses I have and have had:

Bailey (still going)
Gypsy
Cinnamon
Alex
China (sold just recently)
Lightning (my horse )
Archer (Cinnamon's foal)
Avalon (China's foal)
Hermione (Lightning's foal)



Dogs I have and have had:

Shirley
Chanceler (traitor... But we still love you)
Harley (Still going)
Bender (Crazy...)


Rabbits I have and have had:

Don't remember his name
Thumper Kirby (T.K.)
Floppy David (Thumper)
Bulgy Joseph (Perky... He killed all of them... >.>)


Rodents I have and have had:

Kelso (Guinea Pig)
Regis (Guinea Pig)
Shard (Juggy?)



Birds I have and have had:

Fred
Pooky
Tink

I don't even know

alright, so since boredom has taken over
and the energy drink has worn off
i'm just gunna write in my blog.
So this past weekend has been alright
i went up the mtn to ride my horse for the first time in 4 weeks
(fucking camping)
it was fun
i rode her friday, saturday, and sunday.
She was a little crazy.....
Only a tiny bit more then usual tho i guess
Today was pretty interesting tho
I went over to Kyle's and died his hair purple-ish pink
my first dying job
it looked awsome when it was done
Then i came back and my cuzzins half-brother and his siblings were there
that was pretty sweet
me and teg havnt seen them in awhile.
nicholas is all emo skater boyish now, and a pretty crazy kid all around
our whole family ended up sitting outside for like an hour
with my younger cousins chickens
*Marvelous*
and now on wednesday,
Tegan and Jessca are dying my hair
but i'm not allowed to see what it looks like till after
Uh oh...
But i havnt dyed my hair in a loooooonnngg time
so it should be interesting
but tomorrow and wednesday morning i'm babysitting
from 7am till 4pm one day, and 7am till 2pm the next.
money money :D:D
But theres my boredom for yah
......

so, i'm at jocelyns lol
her mother got a Ford Expedition.
Its pretty amazing
then we went to petsmart
and i got a a name tag for my favooorriittee kitty, Lynxee
Then we came home and went in her small small pool and took loads of....sexxi.... pictures hahhaha
and then i came on next and saw my pony China
and was like OMG i miss my pony soooo much
im'ma write about it on nex
cuz i do miss my pony
and sadly she was sold
I want my pony China back soooo badly
but i have Lightning
who has soooo much more potential
and i dunno why i'm writing this here lololol
i suppose i'm bored
but sitting on the comp is prettty amazing hahaha
so anyways
im'ma go back to doing whatever it is i should be doin.....
which is nothing
but tomorrow i'm going to campbell valley park with horses
and taking lots more pics
so it should be fun

Wel me and Joc are sitting here watching George Shrinks
cuz we cant find the tv remote
its rly rly odd and its starting to creep me out..

Oh apparently we do have the remote
and now we're watching the price is right...

I love my new laptop
Its fucking sweet
Swivel Screen
Touch screen
and to get the passwords that are saved onto it
You need my fingerprint
Its amazing

BOLD what applies to you


Yourself - I would like to change my name. I'm loud. I'm obnoxious. I'm sarcastic. I'm cocky. I have a bad temper.
For the most part, I don't like most people. I'm easy to get along with. I like to fight.
I have more enemies than friends. I'm a smoker. I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily. My room always looks like a tornado hit it.

Appearance - I'm shorter than 5'4. I wear makeup. I wear a piece of jewlery at all times. I wear contacts. I own glasses. I've had braces. I have braces.
I change my hair color often. I either straighten or curl my hair often.
I have/had one piercing that arent in my ears. My ears are pierced.

Relationships - I've been in love. I'm always scared of being hurt . I've been hurt. An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I've been cheated on in a relationship.
I've cheated and haven't told the person I cheated on. I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've been in love more than three times. I believe in love at first sight. I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships - I have a best friend. I've gotten a phone call in the last 24 hours from a friend.
I've beaten up a friend. I've been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life. I'd give my life to save my bestfriend.

Clothes - I own a white hoodie. I own at least five pairs of jeans. I own at least ten pairs of shoes. I own a blue jacket. I own a pink jacket. I have at least five belts.
I own at least three blue shirts. I own at least one pair of flip flops.
I own at least two pairs of sweatpants. I've gone out in public in pajamas.
I own at least three hoodies. I sleep in pajamas every night.

Experiences - I've been on a plane. I've been on a train.
I've left the country. I've left the state/province. Someone close to me has died. I've taken a taxi. I've taken a city bus. I've taken a school bus. I've gone bungee jumping. I've made a speech. I've won an award.
I've spent 24 hours on the computer straight. I've been so angry I've punched a hole in the wall.

Television - I spend at least six hours a day watching television. I watch soap operas daily.
i've seen Days Of Our Lives. I've seen The OC.
I've seen One Tree Hill. Ive seen Popular.
I've seen Everwood. I've seen House.
I've seen Gilmore Girls. I've seen CSI. I've seen The Hills.

Family Life - I get along with both of my parents.
My parents are still together. I have at least one brother.
I have at least one sister. I have at least one step brother/sister.
I've been kicked out of the house. I've ran away from my home.
I've sworn at my parents. I've made my parents cry.
I've lied to my parents. I've lied to my parents about where I am.
I've lied to my parents about what I'm doing.
I've lied to my parents about who I am with.
I've lied to my parents so I'd be allowed out.

Hair - I've cut my hair in the past year. I've dyed my hair in the past year.
I've been blonde. I've been black.
I've been red. I've been light brown. I've been orange.
I've been dark brown. I've had streaks.
I've been purple/pink. I've been blue/green.
I've gotten my hair thinned. I use conditioner. I've used silk therapy. I've used hot oil treatments.
I've completely killed my hair. I've curled my hair.
I straightened my hair. I've ironed my hair. I've braided my hair.
I've had dreadlocks.

School - I've thrown something at a teacher.
I've yelled at a teacher. I've been suspended.
I've been sent to the principal's office. I've walked out of class.
I've skipped an entire day of school.
I've skipped a whole month of one certain class. I've failed a test.I've cheated on a test. I've helped someone else cheat on a test.
A Teacher has called my parents. I've been caught skipping

first things first i hate this stupid laptop
it always misses letter and even whole word lol