tonight i realized... i rarely look up
and you can actually miss a lot when you are looking down and around all the time
it's really quite strange
you might miss something really fascinating... when you don't pay attention to all that's around you

Today I had to act in a mini-play. Alan Strang. I was insane, and I had to shake in my sleep and pray to horses. We'll all go for a drink sometime. Fuckin' good times.

I can't even say what I want... my thoughts are defeated by language.

Today I realized the fate of the world. Why can't I realize the fate of myself?

Today you woke up someone else, but did you realize it?

Don't habituate good things. They'll disappear.

A single view cannot hold absolute truth as truth itself has infinite perceptions.

well i just remembered i could use this thing... and i feel like writing something....
today erin and i went walkin to southgate in the rain
it smelt so good and felt so awesome
it was the perfect temperature
no wind
so refreshing...
she's such a fun kid...
and she reminds me of myself haha
we both have the same thoughts and problems...
and terrible love lives haha...
i give her advice about stuff
and she returns the favour


walking in the rain makes me think
and i love that
there's been times where i just lay in my hot tub
maybe with some killers for background music
and i just think
and look at the clouds
some of my worst problems have been solved because of rain
its the world's natural recycler
the world's natural cleanser
and its the same for me
its helps me feel refreshed
ready to face my problems with possible solutions

which reminds me
stars are pretty amazing too
especially late at night
in the winter
and the northern lights are out
wow
looking at them
i feel so humbled
i feel so small
i mean... you're so tiny
so far away
and insignificant
its like your problems shouldn't matter
and you can put things in perspective
there's millions of kids starving every day
dying
going blind
and i'm sitting here worrying about myself
i mean come on
i should be happy
and i should help them be happy
help the world
because as many stars as i can count
there's more feeling sad
hungry
hopeless…


i think writing is cool too
and music
especially this new disc by oasis
im listening to it right now
come to think of it
i've been writing a few songs lately haha
i mean i never write
anything


until this year
i struggled to get an 80 in english
this year its a breeze
and I had 91
maybe i hit my head
or maybe I’m
growing
maturing
becoming who i want to be
yeah i hope that’s it
and maybe soon enough
i can figure it all out
all these things that have been running through my head
i think tonight
ill go back outside
lay in the hot tub
and switch off the light in the sky...
and just think
reminisce
cogitate...
because that's when i'm happiest
that's when i can just forget the world
and relax...