PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:55 PM):
*jayyy =[
Jay says (2:55 PM):
*hey=[[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:56 PM):
*i broke up with my bb =[
Jay says (2:56 PM):
*=[[[[[[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:56 PM):
*coincidently i had an appointment with my counselor right after
*i got to his house, made zack go outside
*and told him i dont think we should date anymore
*and then we sat there for a bit in silence
*and he had tears and such
*me too obvs
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:57 PM):
*then i was saying a bunch of things, he was still really quiet
*it was all going so slowly
*it was so sad
Jay says (2:57 PM):
*awwwww=[[[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:57 PM):
*then he finally said that he was sorry for not saying anything
*that he didn't know what to say
*i told him i didn't want to break up with him, and that I think maybe we should just take a break, or go see Rene again and try to work through this
*i wasn't going to break up with him
*well i was
*but i was open to options
*then we were really talking
*and
*oh man =[
Jay says (2:58 PM):
*=[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:58 PM):
*i started balling sooo hard at one point
*and pounced on him
*telling him that i hope he comes back to me eventually
*that i'll wait for him
*that i'm not going to be with anybody else for a long time
*and that i'm not going to have sex with anyone for a long time
*because i can't see myself with anyone else
*and ablhalbhalbh
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:59 PM):
*and how he's so worth waiting for
*then i would have to get up and go to the bathroom to blow my nose
*and like
*iunno
*there was one point when we were lul'ing
*i was talking about kyle
*or like saying something about him
*and evan was like "well he does wear cologne"
*and i'm like
*"he wears perfume"
Jay says (2:59 PM):
*loool
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (2:59 PM):
*and evan was like LOLOL =D
*and i'm like T_T lul v.v
*n yeah
*i mean
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:00 PM):
*it was all very mutual
*its not beacuse he doesn't like me or anything
*he just doesn't have the energy to put into a relationship right now
*he doesn't want a relationship
*but he says he loves me
*and that he's not going to be with anyone else for a long time
*i asked him if he would come back to me
*i said, you should really come back when you're ready, when you've had time, maybe in a couple months
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:01 PM):
*you should really come back
*blhablh
*and he's like 'maybe'
*and i started crying harder
*and i'm like that sounds likea no
*and he's like
*well i wouldn't say no to that
*i just don't want to make a promise that i can't keep
*so i mean
*he might come around, he might not
*i really hope he does
*i'm hoping in two months that he'll come back to me
*but i don't know
*v.v
*he might never come back
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:02 PM):
*and its shitty because the only way to get over someone is to find someone else
*and i have someone in mind
*they've been in my mind for a bit now
*but i don't even know
*=[
Jay says (3:02 PM):
*=[[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:02 PM):
*i love evan so much
*it wouldn't be a big serious thing either
*it couldn't
*and i wouldn't want to disappoint anybody
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:03 PM):
*and guys that are looking for casual shit just want to fuck
*well
*no
*T_T
not happening
*i'm like a huge nympho and shit but there's no way in hell i'm fucking anybody taht isn't evan
*not for a long time
*._. ugh
Jay says (3:03 PM):
*=[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:04 PM):
*i don't like "casual" =[
*i hate casual
*i like srsniss
*i like really loving someone
*and them really loving me
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:05 PM):
*but i can't even do that right now
*so like
*bah
*i don't know whattt to do
*T_T
*i just can't believe its over
Jay says (3:05 PM):
*=[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:05 PM):
*we dated for so long
*we've had the most amazing memories
*ugh!
*then he just up and changed! =[
*i didn't change
*he did
*i've always been me
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:06 PM):
*actually, i did change
*i became faithful
*i made him my only one and i stuck to that
Jay says (3:06 PM):
*aww=[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:06 PM):
*=[
*because of him i don't think i could ever cheat
*ever again
*not even if i was reallllyyy dumb and started dating someone now
*or like, soon from now
*and then evan wanted me back
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:07 PM):
*i couldn't even do that
*even if it was evan
*i can never hurt someone that way ever again
*i mean you were with him taht night =[
*i dno't know how long you were with him
*but you were there
Jay says (3:09 PM):
*=[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:09 PM):
*ughhh =[
Jay says (3:09 PM):
*ill brb=[
         PACIFISM!!!!         says (3:10 PM):
*okay >_<

DISCIPLE OF EMILZ
Emilee Bauer is my definition of god. she constantly enlighens me with her perfect wonderous opinions, for which I am forever greatful. I do as she says, as her word is always the word of god-like knowlege, wisdom, and truth. oh thank you my emilz, for allowing me to worship you in all your glory. without you I would know little of the world.