P • I • S • C • E • S:
The Piece of ass

Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal.
Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in
the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good
Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she
wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.


haha Can only hope for the best I suppose!

Sometimes I wonder why I'm placed here..
I don't make anyone happy..
I don't help people..
and to top it off,
I don't even mean shit to anyone..

Wish I had a cookie.. =[

Every time I dive in my pool
It's hard to be humble
When I do the breaststroke through an underground tunnel
And come up on the other side in a Jacuzzi
Being greeted by two naked models with suds on their booties

They give me hugs and lots of kisses
And they ask me what my wish is
I say go and call your bitches cause theyre's gonna be a party
Then they wash my body as a team
And they say "Fool, your royal penis is clean!"

And I'm like
Yes, this song is poppin'
Yes, this party's rockin'
Yes, the cutie's shockin'
Yes and there ain't no stopppin'

We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1... Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I never thought one place could ruin life to such an extent..

Aww shit, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherfucking toes
We running this, let's go

I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat (boat, yeah)

I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat

Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ,
Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's
Straight flipping copies

I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget

I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed
Pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore,
Then you're sure not me-oh

Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!

Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker (motherfucker)
I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)
This boat engine make noise, motherfucker

Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road (yeah)
Poseidon
Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)

Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I say
I fucked a mermaid

I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (woah)
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin' boat (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah)

Life itself is only a vision, a dream
nothing exists but empty space and you,
and you.. are but a thought

1. Last cigarette?
5 minutes ago

2. Last beverage:
Budweiser =]

3. Last phone call:
Home

4. Last text message:
Lauren

5. Last CD played:
Tiesto - Elements of Life

6. Last BUBBLE bath:
Don't think i've had one?

7. Last time you cried:
2 or 3 months ago?

8. Last meal:
crepes and beer

SEVEN "HAVE YOU'S":
1. Have you ever dated someone twice?
yep

2. Have you ever been cheated on?:
mhmm

3. Have you ever kissed someone & regretted it?
uh huh

4. Have you ever fell in love?
yep

5. Have you ever lost someone?
yes

6. Have you ever slept until 2pm?:
i can sleep for 24 hours straight with ease -.-"

7. Have you ever been drunk and threw up?
sadly, yes xD

Fuck you number ONE.
There is NO SUCH THING as a Nexopia Tracker.
It does NOT exist. So quit posting stupid bulletins like
"OH-MY-GOD this WORKS!!!"
No, it doesnt.

Fuck You number TWO.
To the people who have like 1,000 friends;
Are you fucking serious?
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.

Fuck you number THREE.
Don't ever post pictures and say:
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
If you do you're a fucking moron.

Fuck you number FOUR.
NOBODY cares about threats over the internet,
so don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics;
Even if you win, you're still retarded.

Fuck you number FIVE.
Quit crying because you're not on someones page
Who cares?!?
ITS NEXOPIA!!!
If you really cared that much, you would
pick up the damn phone!

Fuck you number SIX.
Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"What's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up,
Asshole....

Fuck you number SEVEN.
6th graders who have Nexopia and look like sluts,
and act like whores;
Go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
And Parents -
Quit blaming Nexopia for your kid being a hooker,
she was a whore before Nexopia
and she'd be a whore without it!
What does that say about your parenting skills?
Think about it!

Fuck you number EIGHT.
If you have decided to read this, you are a true nexopia Friend.
Real friends read their blogs
except for the ones about those fucking ringtones....

Fuck you number NINE.
I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains

Fuck you number TEN.
If you read a blog and it says something like repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape you tonight, or some dead bitch is going to rape your mom - quit being dumb!

Fuck you number ELEVEN.
Nexopia was created to keep up with friends.
Quit trying to check up on your ex!!
Come on, now, people, its called stalking...you might as well be sitting in front of their house with binoculars.

This is a test to see how many people in your friends list
actually pay attention to you.

If this made you laugh, or you agree with it,
then repost this...

complete the following questions to find out just how mean you are.

[x] I think I'm gonna have a high score on this.
[x] I don't talk to one or both of my parents that much.
[x] I have cursed/said horrible things to someone’s face.
[x] I give people bad looks.
[x] I've been known to have an attitude.


[x] I took heads off dolls or action figures when I was little.
[x] I have destroyed something valuable on purpose.
[x] I love to insult people.
[x] Most people suck.
[x] I have thrown total tantrums.


[x] I get pissed off easily.
[] I have no clue when I'm doing it.
[x] Sometimes I order people around.
[x] I am/was known around my neighborhood as the kid everyone else doesn't want their kids hanging out with.
[x] I've argued with a teacher.


[x] I could honestly care less about school.
[x] I love messing with other people's heads.
[x] I've been told im conceited.
[x] I joke around.
[x] I yell daily.


[x] I seem to always be in a fight with someone.
[x] I don't like smiling but do anyways.
[x] I know at least 3 people I would like to beat up.
[x] I love pranking people.
[x] Strongly dislike a lot of people.


[x] People annoy me very easily.
[x] I think some people are just flat out immature.
[] I always have to get the last word.
[] I always have the perfect comeback


TOTAL: 26
ADD UP ALL THE X's AND MULTIPLY BY 4

104% LOLWTF??

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us,
yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls >OR TEXTS< you,

but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.

That it can't wait till the morning

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you! Dont 'feel bad' We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say 'thank you'.

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking,

we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to
wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brat Pitt, or jesse McCartney in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'?

i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy' or whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!!

Ditch his sorry ass, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lower

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.

Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

-Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this

Interesting Party.. xD
think i remember everything, but im not 100% conclusive on that..
wake up in the morning, all i hear is kurtis: FUCK MY LIFE WE GOTTA CLEAN THIS?
jesse wakes up, looks around, shrugs and passes out again,
and mark walks out right when we start cleaning, asking us what happened last night xD
oh, mark has interesting stories when he's smashed xD
pancake breakfast bitches!!!
pretty fuckin good overall, great time ^.^

1 question.
1 chance.
1 answer.
100% honest.
That's all you get.

You get to ask me 1 question.

ANY 1 question

Conditions: I won't tell ANYONE what you asked me and I'll answer it honestly.
Send it through a message, title it "Question."
The catch is, to repost this and see what people ask you