I've come to realize that this "blog" that I have going here is basically just an international diary that few people see and even fewer actually take the time to read... Yet at the same time when trapped within the confines of my own brain searching for an understanding of life (which I do hope I never believe I reach, just continue to build upon) I am inclined to write it all down. And since all my previous recordings are here I find it entirely fitting that I continue.

So, I'm rolling around the idea of moving out. Out of my house, my town, and my province all together. For anyone this is an awkward leap in life which many are nervous about. And apparently I have somehow managed to become a worry-wart.. I love the idea of leaving, I always have. Although with my track record I am reluctant.. Now instead of simply questioning a straight forward idea of moving out or not, I fall into the seams and consider the fact that my parents could be entirely right. Maybe I would be in a better place if I had listened to them every time. Every night I was told to go to bed, turn off the computer, etc. Maybe I would be better off if I had followed their idea of a good life for a child and my idea of an unenjoyable mainstream cookie-cutter life. I would have my entire life laid out for me, although it may sound boring it sounds like I could appreciate the simplicity. Not that my life is anywhere near being hectic.

I am scared to create my own life however I want. It's hilarious really.. my entire short life I wanted to do everything on my own terms and I would be content knowing I did it all on my own. Here I am, tormented by thoughts and ideas burned into my brain. Scared to do what I've always wanted.

This has caused my brain to halt, so it's probably the perfect time to attempt sleep.
Cheers.

Also, it is very possible that I have the soul of an artist, but none of the talent. Boo.