I want to write, get my thoughts out of me. Pull them out letter by letter until I can see them as a whole, the bigger picture. None of my current thoughts are opaque. That is what I see when I look in the mirror; transparency. This is how I always feel when I'm at a larger crossroads. Such a big fork in the road can change everything..My world feels transparent. It cannot exist without a certain future. I fear choosing the wrong path. Which ever path I take will be the right one. But I can't help wanting to avoid the choice all-together. I am seeking clarity. It runs off at the most inopportune moments. I am the only person who can choose, I am the only person who can help myself. If I do not choose a path, I know life will not wait for me. I've been caught in that black hole before. Without pushing forward, the world simply leaves you behind. I am grateful that my life hasn't pulled an ultimatum yet. I still can push forward slowly without being forced to choose just yet. I know it is coming, and I just hope I'm not late. That will only leave regret, and I will stay, forever, wondering what could have happened. What ever path I choose will be the right one. Because when I am old, and I think back on my life, every simple detail will have gotten me there. Which ever road I take is my destiny. I just hope it all works out..