An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."
So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."
The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.
Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells,
"SUPPLIES !!!
Akhmed the Arab came to the United Statesfrom the Middle East. He was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none could help him. Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said:
'Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.'
Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes
Coming back to the doctor he said, 'It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?'
The doctor said ”You were homesick.”
dane cooks show was awesome last night. i laughed so hard ><
If "the pen is mightier than the sword", how come "actions speak louder than words"?
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the
face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the
oranges you originally asked for."
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies in the process." —Mark Twain
"Thaddius, built from the flesh of women and children, it is said that their souls are fused together - eternally bound within that foul prison of flesh."
i went up 10% in science after my final!!!
king of rock
king of pop
Michael Jackson
dead at age 50?
RIP
whos brilliant idea was it to put a playground zone in a school zone?!?
american idol is weird...lol
omg
going for lisence on friday
lil nervous
Boston Bruins- 11/1 vs Carolina Hurricanes- 11/2
Anaheim Ducks- 15/2 vs Detroit Red Wings- 9/4
Chicago Black Hawks- 5/1 vs Vancouver Canucks- 9/1
Pittsburgh Penguins- 7/2 vs Washington Capitals- 8/1
how its gunna go down
Boston vs Carolina- Carolina is going to win in 6 games, if Cam Ward can keep winning games, and Carolina can contain Zdeno Chara.
Anaheim vs Detroit- Detroit is going to win in 6 games, the only way Anaheim has a chance is if they have a big game from Jonas Hiller.
Chicago vs Vancouver- 6 games again, unless the Vancouver defense can contain the likes of Pat Kane and can find a hole in the "Bulin" wall
Pittsburgh vs Washington- Washingtons Simeon Varlimov will carry the Washington Capitals past Pittsburgh in 7 games. The rookie just needs to keep calm in the net. And Mike Green and company have to contain Crosby, Stall, Malkin and Gill. Yes Hal Gill will make a differance. And Ovy and Semin have to have some strong games to win two games in a row.
These playoffs will be a battle of the goaltenders. Osgood is 10x better than Hiller, Ward CAN be better than Thomas as long as he can stay composed and not let goals get to his head, As for the Bobby Loo/Bulin wall match up, pretty much even, but Chicago has the offense to make a differance, this is the only matchup that will not be solved by goaltending, and the Varlamov/FLeury matchup, the only advantage Fleury has is his experiance, the rookie just has to stay calm and they will have a trip to the conferance finals.
CONFERANCE FINALS predictions
Washington vs Carolina
Chicago vs Detroit
STANLEY CUP FINALS predictions
Detroit vs Washington
STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS predictions
Detroit Red Wings for the second year in a row. because of their unstoppable offense, indestructible defense, and a world class backstop in Osgood
