--PWNography.* - 18, Female, Calgary
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ask me stuff
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07:19pm | Apr 22, '13 | Public
http://ask.fm/PARTYNAK3D
 
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+1 
this
+7
 


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Happiness is just a state of mind.
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01:28am | Aug 13, '12 | Public
Anxiety sucks, straight up. I have never been so scared of everything in my life. I cant be out of my house for longer then a few hours, or i freak out. & Becuase of that i just lock myself in my bedroom , and dont even bother to go out anymore, which really sucks. Im scared to try to go to school, and im scared to get a job. And i dont even smoke weed anymore because of this, becuase im scared of having an anxiety attack.

And ontop of that, the left side of my chest always hurts, and my arm, leg, and face constantly feel either numb, or tingly , and i have this constant migrane but its apparently not my heart; and the doctors seem to have no clue what-so-ever what it is.. which really sucks.. becuase id like to get rid of it, and get on with my life but i cant.

This is all making me so depressed its not even funny. I dont feel normal anymore, and i can honestly say, i have no clue what feeling normal is even like anymore; im so used to feeling like this. This shouldnt be something i should be used to.

Everyone keeps telling me in time it will get better, but to be honest; Ive lost all hope for that. nothing seems to be changing, and things just seem to progress and get worse. Now apparently, getting sick. Lately i just feeel so nauseous , like im constantly gonna puke.

I just wish i would get ready quicker.. i have no one to even talk to about this.. fuccckk.
 
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"We all make mistakes. But no matter what, i'll always be proud of you, you know. I'd prefer if you didnt do drugs, but no matter what i will always be proud of you, and nothing will ever change that. i love you sweetheart. "


It really meant alot hearing this from you, of all people. I really wish you didn't have to go back to vancouver, i wish i could go with you.. but i know we both need to fix our life's a bit more.. i am so glad you came and saw me, i really missed you, and this weekend was great seeing you. i hope you have a safe trip home. I love you Dad.
 
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Dont be afraid, be strong.
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01:01am | Jun 12, '12 | Public
The past 3 days have been hell for me. My left side of my jaw, and my arm are tingling constantly. Im super sweaty, my stomach hurts, i keep getting really intense chest pains, and every once in a while, breathing gets really hard, i keep getting head aches.

I went to the doctor 4 times now, and the hospital once. And everytime they said that i was fine, but obviously if i was okay, i wouldnt be feeling this way. So tomorrow im going in to get some blood tests done, and im hoping they figure out whats wrong with me.. Cause i really just want this to stop, i dont want to feel this way anymore, its killing me. i cant enjoy anything, or do anything cause im constantly worrying about how i feel .

And doesnt help that my doctor told me to stop smoking weed, so i have to deal with trying to quit that, as well as my body being all fucked up.. and all i can say is; i really hope im okay, because ive never been so scared before. :/
 
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AWH SHIET.
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11:28pm | May 17, '12 | Public
I really really really want to get my nipples pierced, but i dont think ill be able to handle the pain.
FUCK. D:
 
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kthnx.
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05:14pm | May 09, '12 | Public
if you think this is an attention ploy, get the fuck out now, i only need friends to read this. i don't need a girlfriend, i don't need a boyfriend, i don't need a cuddle buddy, i need a friend who is willing to sit down and know me, without me telling them. someone to talk to me and actually hear what i'm saying. someone to be there whenever i need them, not just when its convenient for them. someone to spend lots of time wiith, and create the best memories. a best friend. someone who knows what to say and when to say it. someone i can know cares about my desicions.
 
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FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR,KTHNX.
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01:29pm | Apr 04, '12 | Public
 
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When you take bong hoots, do you;
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01:45pm | Mar 14, '12 | Public
Skip to results(36 votes)
 
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+1 
this
+3
 


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I'd be scared.
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07:18pm | Mar 13, '12 | Public
To: --PWNography.*
From: doctorwhen
Date: Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:08 pm
Subject: No Subject
Hello!
My name is Devin
How are you?


Random Question: What would you do if you REALLY needed to go to the bathroom, but as you were about to sit down you saw my face looking up at you from inside the toilet bowl?
 
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Dont worry, be happy.
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06:52pm | Dec 01, '11 | Public
I had such a fucked up dream last night. My little brother was an alligator, but he looked like a human, and he was allowed to live amung us because he wasnt vicious, and then he started biting people and shit ; the cops told me i had to kill him, and i woke up balling my eyes out cause my friend killed him. LOL, i have some weird dreams sometimes.

I need something to motivate me, I never want to do anything other then just sit around and do nothing. I just dont see a point. I bearly talk to anyone anymore. Its sad. I also stopped going to school cause i just dont see a point to that either, like i want to go, but i feel like even if i do im still going to fail, i fail at everything. I wish i could just see the brighter side of things, but right now, it doesnt seem like its happy.

ALSO, i started stretching my ears, they're at like 4g i think. imma go to like half inch, maybe smaller. :D
 
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You shook me all night long.
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07:37pm | Sep 28, '11 | Public
  • Im in school.
  • I've been sober off chemicals for almost a month now.
  • I have a job.


Life is actually going really well for me right now. I've fixed alot of things in my life, and im so much happier now. I didnt believe life could be good without chemicals, but its nice to be sober most of the time. Im stoked for my future, cause i have a feeling its going to be good. :] I wonder where life will take me. Ive finally accomplished three things alot of people didnt believe i could, feels good proving people wrong. :3
 
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This summer has been so dope so far !
Stampeede was fucking amazing, went almost every signle day, i went high on shrooms once, it was fucking amazing. The rides were so trippy. Me and Whitney went when we were really really really baked, it was so much fun LOL. And Marianas Trench was the most amazing night ever, like holy dammmn.

I went on the most epic Camping trip with Logan, Liam, and Darla. Fuckin' ranch filled condom exploded on my head, got a whole bunch of trucks stuck in the mud. Mud fight with Darla & Liam, bathing in the creek, Dancing with Logan to LMFAO while getting drunk as shit, sociables with Liam, Climbing up a mountain crunk as shit and feeling like i just won at life when i got to the top, fucking Liam lighting the forest on frie. what an amazing weekend, i will never forget that.

But the best party about this summer, Jeffery finally fuckin' forgave me, and we chill all the time now, its so sick; And what makes that even better, is that its not even awkard, i feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders, im so fucking happy!

Im content with how life is going right now. I got registered in school, and hopefully ill have a job soon, which is pretty sick. and Imma start going to counceling. Tomorrow morning im going to Edmonton for a few days with Patrick to get my party awn. The only thing that could make life better right now, is if Logan, Whitney, Joe and Liam were in Calgary with me. :3
 
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Do0o0o0ope Daaaay.
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08:46am | Jul 08, '11 | Public
//Got up at 8am.
//Went and met up with John and had breakfast.
//Went to KTOWN to get a new bowl for John's bong.
//Blazed a bunch.
//Met up with Jake, then blazed more.
//Went to the stampede with John, and blazed more.
//Went on rides super fuckin stoned. xD
//Met up with jake again.
//Went on more rides, and blazed more.
//Then i left, and now im spending the night at Logans.
++++LOGAN IS MAKING ME KD. FUCK YEAH,

And tomorrow im going to stampeede with Whitney. ♥ iM so excited its going to be so great! YAYAYAY.
 
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This isnt right, im not me.
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09:41pm | Jul 03, '11 | Public
Im not the person i used to be. I hate who i've become.. Doing drugs for the first time is the biggest mistake ive ever made. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me, and for what? Nothing. I lost all the most important people to me, i let them slip away because of my own selfish addiction. Im not who i used to be. im not the person i want to be. I regret ever doing drugs. partying all the time, Drinking, Doing drugs. your right, that isnt who i am. Out of everyone i know, you know best who i really am. Good thing im going to d-tox as soon as stampede ends. Im going to try my best to be sober, I can be happy without drugs, but i cant be happy without you in my life. i lost you, and knowing what i did wrong. Really makes me think twice about what im doing, you're the only person who could get through to me, cause your the only person who has ever truely had an impact on my life. I need to do this, im destroying myself.
 
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