I am resigning from this family.
Mums half:
Aunty: All you've done is personally attack me. There's a difference between bitching and correcting. Every correction was followed with "I DON'T UNDERST AND WHY YOU CAN'T GET THIS. IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE." type comments; my self esteem issues stem from you.
Papa: Your wifes a fucking controlling bitch and I truly hate her from the CORE of my being. If you get buried next to her and not my Grandma Diana. I swear to fucking God, I'll move your body FOR YOU. She should be buried with the hoe ass cheating husband she had before she met you. And you should be buried with the love of your life. Kapeesh?
"Grandma": You have done nothing but try and make my Grandfathers decisions for him. You expect him to do everything for you. You're not the perfect little old housewife you make yourself seem, and I'm positive we can all agree we fucking despise you.
Cousin: You're the one person that has ever even came close to my life style, the drugs and the partying. You are the only one that even has a central idea of what my life is like and what I'm going through. You promised you'd always be there, and yet you've cut off absolutely all contact with me? Really?! That's being there for me alright.
Cousin: You are the preppiest bitch I have ever met in my life. You're gorgeous and it makes me livid. I can't believe there was a time when I thought you were like God's angel he sent to earth. I wanted to be just like you. And I'm so glad I never could be. I know this family loves you way more cause you're perfect. So you can tell your mother she can stop pretending that she doesn't play "favourites".
Dad: I've hated you ever since I could remember. It pisses me off when you say "I love you." because I know I hate you and if I got the chance to kill you I would do it gladly. The moneys great but I'd rather live on the streets than ever see or talk to your drunken abusive ass EVER fucking again.
Here's my resignation, this family is bullshit.
Dad's half:
Aunty: I fucking DESPISE you. You are not allowed to talk to my mother that way and I am positive if I ever see you again I WILL have the courage to knock your ass out. What, your parents fucked up four kids and decided they'd save you?! You're spoiled, rotten. All you have to do is cry mummy and daddy and everything gets completely handed to you. I wish I could rip that pretty little ring off your fucking finger, you don't deserve to be happy.
Grandpa: You, oh you. I hate you, I really really do. You bad mouth my mother not even just behind her back but to HER DAUGHTERS fucking face. You tell me that she's brainwashed me. Accept the fact that your son is a raging alcoholic just like you were and maybe we'll get on with our lives. You're an old miserable man.
Grandma: I actually have no problem with you, but your family is fucking bullshit. I love you, and I respect you but the people you surround yourself with is fucking crazy. You're sweet and innocent, and I have the time of my life making pancakes with you. Whenever I come up too stay for a week, you'll always make sure I'm occupied or that I have ever drink and piece of food I could ask for. But your daughters a mess, she's a real disgrace too your name.
Cousin: Your family, is a joke. You are fucking completely spoiled rotten. You're 16, you have a brand new car, a three million dollar home and your own home already set up for when you move out. You're a fucking pathetic excuse for a human being. We used to be so close and you won't even say Hi anymore. Just eye me from across the room. Must be the bullshit your mothers telling you.
So here's my resignation from this side of my family too.
You've all polluted my genes with various disorders and diseases.
No family is perfect but this is the opposite of perfect.
There's a drug addict or a psychopath everywhere I turn.
I'm fine, alone, with my mother. Thanks.