Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the
> children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
> answers
> >came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman,etc.
>
> David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked
> him
> about his father.
>
> "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his
> clothes
> in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll
> go
> out
> to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
>
> The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
> other children to work on some colouring, and took little David aside to
> ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
> >>
> >>"No," said David, "He plays for the Calgary Flames but I was too
> >>embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." and the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting "88, 88, 88, 88..." until a blonde came up to her and said, "that looks like fun, can I try?" The brunette said sure so the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88." "Well," said the brunette, "that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street" So the blonde said "Very well" and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM. she was run over by a car, completely flattened. Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, "89, 89, 89, 89...
Did you hear about the blonde that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
A: Because they go answer the door.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his blonde neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
The blonde replied, "There certainly is. My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, 'You've got mail.'"
How do you confuse a blonde?A:Llock her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q:What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A:Take out the pin and throw it back.
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing." the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help. ''It's supposed to be a tiger.'' Sally cried. ''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box.''.
Q: Why is it a blonde can not have more than a 10 minutes lunchbreak?
A: Because otherwise you have to retrain her.
Q: What do you call a couple of blondes in the front seat of a car?
A: Air Bags.
As we go through life, we learn that even the one person that wasn't
supposed to ever let you down, probably will. You will have your
heart broken - probably more than once && it gets harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was
broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love
for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
&& you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures,
laugh too much, love like you've never been hurt, && live for the moment,
because every 60 seconds you spend upsetis a minute of happiness
you'll never get back.
when a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind
when a girl looks down, it means she is uncomfortable
when a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply
when a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around
when a girl answers, `i`m fine` after a few seconds, she's not at all fine
when a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying
when a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever
when a girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention
when a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered
when a girl text messages you everyday, she wants you to reply at least once
when a girl says `i love you`, she means it
when a girl says that she can`t live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future
when a girl says `i miss you`,no one in this world can miss you more than that
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word:
20. What was your first impression of me?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Have we ever had sex?
33. Do you miss me?
34. Do you think I miss you?
33. Are you going to put this on your "PRO" and see what I say about you?
What Would You Do If:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there
