flames4dacup
Addict


Age 16, Male
Posts: 3,788
rofl $9 an hour to start at mcdicks i started at $9.50 an hourpart time for safeway in bc

________________________________
Chilliwack Bruins 5-16-2-0
Chilliwack Bruins 4 Kamloops Blazers 6 Final
Next up Regina Pats Friday 7pm
Wednesday November 15, 2006, 10:42 pm Quote Reply Report Top


CapitalSimon
Veteran
- Online -


Age 17, Male
Posts: 1,281


Quote:
--------------------------------------------------​------------------------------
Originally posted by: flames4dacup
rofl $9 an hour to start at mcdicks i started at $9.50 an hourpart time for safeway in bc
--------------------------------------------------​------------------------------


nice man you made 50 more cents

want me to suck your dick?

"why men fail in bed HAHA


40 Ways Men Fail in Bed
Take notes, all you Casanovas...
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hands on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is the worst. Lose the socks fist.

18) GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETTIQUETTE ADVISE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINT HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen."

My mother fucking god.

I have just about read enough things of people making fun of little "emo" or "scene" kids. Not that i care you making fun of them. Just let me make something clear to you, you close minded retard.

When youre trying to sit & say that theyre "trendy & run with the crowd," are you not contradicting your own damn selves?

Let me put this in bold letters for you. NO MOTHER FUCKER ON THIS EARTH IS UNIQUE. Little Hollister Abercrombie kids, trendy. Bro kids, trendy. Black kids, trendy. Emo kids, trendy. Scene kids, trendy. Anime kids, trendy. Etc.
How are you going to say we all look alike, when the girl sitting next to you probably has the same skirt in three different colors. Or the guy working on his truck behind you has the same studded belt & same checkered star tattoo on his biscep. Or the kid has the same rockawear jersey 3x times his size. Or the kid next to you has the same hair cut & dashboard confessional sticker on his diary. Or the kid has the same pair of glasses that make him look more like a bug than yours do.

Shut the fuck up, i'm so sick of hearing it. Bro kids don't understand little Scene kids just as much as Terrorist countries don't understand Democracy countries.

You may think youre "unique" & "look different". But open your conceided little eyes. & when you walk into prom wearing the same dress as the girl holding your ex-boyfreinds arm. Think again.
Stop youre time-waisting paragraphs on how emo kids & scene kids are all alike.

YOURE ALLL ALIKE
Everyones just oversized colonies of ants.

Oh & if i hear one more mother fucker say, "AFFORD ACTUAL SHOES," i dont know what i'll do.
I'll continue wearing Vans as long as your little ass is rockin the Fox sticker on the back of your lifted truck wearing black socks up to your knees.

And heres one for you little immature stupid mother fuckers who pretend to be gay. It's NOT cute. It's fucking embarassing, pathetic, & annoying. It isn't cool that you make yourself gay & are going to stick a mans tongue down your pussy eatin throat so you can get a few more friends on myspace or nexopia. You don't need to be gay. Gay isn't scene & isn't cool. It's a way of life, nothing more than if a person came out black or white. You put a bad name to gay people & make them out to be some fruity little homo's. When most of them aren't. I'd hate gay people too if they were all like you immature queers.


For you fat little girls who say EmO GuYs ArE HoTt. BoYs KisSiNg Is HoTt! Kill your mother fucking self. You deserve to die. Be hit in the face. Grow up. Continue your little Hot-Topic shopping with your ugly ass friends & shut up. It's annoying & makes me want to hurt myself. oH tHATs eMo rIGhT?!

For you lame ass scene kids who think being a bitch is cool? Take the cord to your mouse, wrap it around your neck & pull real hard. " My friends are better & hotter than yours." Ugh, die you dumb ass fool. Most of your friends are probably fat & can't do their makeup. "I'm a bitch, i don't care about your feelings." But yet you'll write people messages, youre pretty blabla. & Expect to rest your overly hair-sprayed head on someones shoulder when youre upset. Get over yourself, you aren't god's greatest gift. & Youre html codes or photoshop skills don't judge your stance in the popular world. Being a bitch isn't cool, then you'll have no friends becuase you live your life talking shit. Trust me, keep on with your "I'm a bitch blabla" babble & sooner or later you'll know what i'm talking about.

For you hollister/abercrombie hoes who think youre x10 more amazing becuase you spend $90 dollars on a pair of pants need to get a reality check. Your highlights have gone to your head honey. You look just like every 27 Jessicas & Ashleys you know. Ya youre cute, but youre not unique. You're color coronated closet looks just like the girl down the streets. You make fun of our hair, but don't all of you have highlights? Or some color that brings out your eyes. Exactly, congratulations, if you knew what contradict meant, it'd make sense.

Ghetto Thug kids, heres your paragraph. When you ask me why can't i buy close my size, i'll flip out my Mary Kay pocket mirror & ask you the same question. When youre buying your jerseys & sweatshirts that touch your knees. Clothes any bigger you'll trip over your sleeves. Cool, good for you. I like your style, just don't ask hypocritcal questions.

Anime Kids, do whatever you want.

Anyways, point is, youre not unique. Youre all the same. It's life, get the fuck over it & stop complaining. By the way, quit with the stereotypes. Take like a day to get to know someone before you judge them. Get over it, Get over yourself. Shut the fuck up, im sick of hearing it. Go on about your life & your own little group.

okay, i kinda wanted your opinions and points of view, and not just agreeing with me.