xviii:
The capacity for basic trust was destroyed.
For truddi to trust herself would be contrary to all she was taught in her family. Truddi was told daily that she was bad and that she lied. There was no escape, no one to turn to for consistent nurturing. She had a sense of complete powerlessness and aloneness, and with it a teremdous fear and confusion. What better way to cope than to "go away," to find a hiding place in the recesses of......Where we cannot be sure. But she went somewhere safe, and someone came to take her place.

---

xix:
I had to try and convince over ninety persons that trusting themselves and others was no longer dangerous to their well-being , and that punishment would not be meted out for talking. Since they had been warned on a daily basis as children that they would be killed if they told, the feat that they were bad and would not be believed that colored every moment, for many troop members fear remains. Some of these give evidence of their presence in the sessions only peripherally, and refuse to come forth openly. Their over-riding concern was and is to escape and form of communication or closeness to any human being. I have come to understand that these particularly reticent Troop members carry the burden of the utmorst rage and fear, and seldom appear in public. Instead they have"mirror-Images" who can handle their specific daily living chores.

One troop member in particular felt that as soon as the decision was made-- "something awful" was going to happen.

I wish I could send my Identity, my personality and everything I am to spend the rest of it's existence in the right hemisphere of my brain, close to the pineal gland.

I've known loss all of my life.
I've known suffering better than I've known Happinss.
I know loss better than I know myself.
I know hunger like I know horror.
I've seen more addiction than I have compassion.
I've seen the refuse of society, and understood their perspectives.
I've met the mentally ill, and lived in their quarters.
But most importantly, I've known the tragedy of love.
I wish I could talk to the ghosts in my past.

manson was fucking sweet.
I crowd surfed 3 times. got my ass kicked out 3 times, some bitch tried to CHOKE me out and I laughed in her face, and kept going.
Manson shook my hand while I crowd surfed.
Got so much free liquor
I fought 7 people to the ground for this american flag manson threw.
In the end it was me and this guy named greg fighting for it. I got elbowed in the face a few times and stepped on. So I lost it.
In any case fucking awesome concert

'Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro' the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
'Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.
I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-
There pass'd, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

To One Departed
Seraph! thy memory is to me
Like some enchanted far-off isle
In some tumultuous sea--
Some ocean vexed as it may be
With storms; but where, meanwhile,
erenest skies continually
Just o'er that one bright island smile.

For 'mid the earnest cares and woes
That crowd around my earthly path,
(Sad path, alas, where grows
Not even one lonely rose!)
My soul at least a solace hath
In dreams of thee; and therein knows
An Eden of bland repose.

743>|ÿ,|4|-|> /,|ÿ,|4 3,ÿ,4|-| 7|ÿ,|()|> : 5|ÿ,|1|-|7 ={() 5:ÿ:()143:ÿ ],ÿ,[4 :

My mom just told me that if I fucked up while she was gone, she would fly back and decapitate me with tweazer

Who else plays diablo?

well....I loved you very much since the day I met you jules. I wish you never got sick. Maybe it's better this way. But in any case. I'm sorry life is this way.I won't forget you, I love you very much....and i'm sorry I didn't spend as much time as I could have with you.
It's never easy.
This time was the hardest.
You were my favourite kitty.

Who's going to manson....and die manniquin..On sept 8?

ǝɟıן ɟo ɟɟo ǝƃpǝ ǝɥʇ sǝʞɐʇ ʇı ʇsɐǝן ʇɐ