I never knew what it was like to actually be in euphoria. To be completely content in my life and smile when I'm alone, doing nothing but thinking about you. I can honestly say I'm at the happiest point in my life this far. My guards are completely down, and I can feel every emotion as raw and real as ever before. I've never let myself go like this. I've never allowed myself to be vulnerable. And it's scary, you could seriously fuck my heart up. But you know what? I love it. It's like I took away a shield that used to always be protecting me, but really it was destroying me. When I shielded myself, I was running away from my problems. I was becoming self-destructive so I could just hurt myself before anyone else would get the chance to. But the shield was also stopping me from letting myself be completely happy. I didn't let every emotion go to my heart. I'm finally letting myself be happy, and letting myself fall as in love with you as I truly am. And living life this way is so much better. Yes I am vulnerable and yes I actually felt my heart break for the first time, but I would rather be on the edge with you about to get pushed off than protecting myself and not allowing what we have to be everything it can be. I feel like I'm actually alive now. Every emotion is felt so much harder and whether it's good or bad it's amazing because I feel alive. I'm done hurting you, even if that means you can potentially hurt me. But you're the person that I trust the most in this world, that loves me the most and wants to protect me. You have my heart now, and I trust you with it, completely unshielded. I love you.
