blah blah blah

hey its dad, i have no other way of expressing myself other than this, i do like notes cause there is no fighting in between words you get to say what you want and thats it right? i decided to write a letter to you and your sister you will most likely never read this but atleast i can say it and get it out. Since you were a yr old you were counting to ten by yourself, im very proud of you i really am your a smart kid ,put 10000% into your school so that if hockey doesnt work out, you have a fall back. I love you very much and know that if you never took the opportunity that i fucked up with being lazy in school. i will always love you, you will always be my boy, you and your sister are my life i do the things i do so that you can have a roof over your head, a puck on your stick, and a book in front of your face. i know i cant be there all of the time but the time we all spend together will forever be cherished in my heart, its the little things that count like one day when your 25 you will look back on your childhood and remember "that time me you and ava all went out for a birthday supper then to the fun factory",ill never forget it" seeing you kids so happy made my entire yr. you guys truley make me happy like no one else could, all i have in this life is you and your sister, and i thank god everyday that i was blessed with such amazing children i love you both very much, never forget that I love you, ...And to my little princess, we havent had a lot of time to get to know each other, you have been on this planet for 21 mos and already you have made me cry with laughter on countless occasions, your such a sweetheart, but you deff do have your mothers attitude lol (sorry ali but she does) your a fiery princess that will stop at nothing to get her own way, and i admire that about you, idk who is gonna be my hockey starr but know this ava, coming straight from daddys heart "it doesnt matter who excells at what you are both my stars in the sky and i will love you through thick and through thin im always here i would like to be both yours and your brothers bestfriend some day i just hope you feel the same i love you baby girl

All my love -dad-

im pretty bored at work, dont know what to blog about

My personal favorite blowjob story happened with a girl I hooked up with only once. I met her in some city, out at some bar, on some night--I barely even remember what she looked like (thank you, Dollar Beer Night). I am pretty sure she was engaged, but it wasn't to any of my friends, so I didn't care.

The girl did a pretty decent job sucking me off, especially considering how much I drank, and I finished in her mouth. Like a pro, she kept her lips wrapped around my dick till it was dry, but when she came up, there was a strange look on her face. She contorted her expression a little, opened her mouth like she was going to vomit, which of course made me pull back quickly, then all of the sudden:

"BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!"

The girl belched like a drunken sailor--OFF OF MY COME!

I couldn't stop laughing. Easily the proudest moment of my life.

One girl I was dating the summer after I graduated high school, "Jayne," had never given head before she started seeing me. Now, my experience has taught me that whenever a girl tells me she "doesn't normally give head," she inevitably ends up giving me an incredible blow job. It's the ones who say they never do it that do it the best. Jayne was the exception.

She was the absolute worst I've ever experienced. I've never even heard of girls worse at fellatio than Jayne. Her teeth were all over my dick, she had no rhythm, no enthusiasm, and had a mouth that mysteriously never got moist. It was awful.

It was a month of painstaking instruction before she finally got good enough that I didn't just stop her after 5 minutes and tell her to jerk me off--she was that bad. After another month or so, she got good enough that she could at least come close to finishing me off by herself. Here's the weirdest part: no matter how much she improved, she never moved her head. She kept her head still and I would have to move my hips. This was annoying, but I was patient with her because she was stunningly beautiful and I was still young enough to think I was in love (this was back when I thought I actually was capable of love).

One night she was doing a pretty good job and I got very enthused with my hip thrusts when I felt a warm, wet sensation on my crotch. I was laying on my back and I looked down and saw what looked like A LOT of splooge.

This confused me because even though I was close to coming, I didn't think I had actually achieved orgasm. The come was chunky to the touch, very dark, and much more viscous than any semen that I've ever seen shoot out of my dick. My first though was that I she had given me some crazy hybrid VD that made my come all thick and chunky. I dismissed that, but my mind was still racing; I couldn't figure out what could be wrong, so I said, "What did you do to my dick?"

She looked up at me. The expression on her face immediately gave it away:

"Oh my god--did you just throw up on my dick? Did you just VOMIT ON MY FUCKING DICK?"

Yes, Andrew. Yes she did.

I ended up dating her for another two years (beauty does strange things to the male mind), but she stopped going down on me and we just focused on vaginal sex from that point forward.

sean is the best room mate ive ever had

Andrew says:
k idk im hammered and its not working but do you like to be slapped? spit in the mouth? fucked up the ass? forced deep throaght?
Ashley says:
YES!! YES!! YES!! FUCK YOU DO THAT?!
Andrew says: you got a job

had some 13 yr old girl randomly msg me saying she is going to eat me then called me a creep like wtf was that lol im in shock so i told her i was going to kick her grandma down a flight of stairs

i hate my ex : )

10 Reasons To Date A Hockey Player!_!

1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. They love to put the pressure on [/size]

Pick the month you were born in
1-I ate
2-I killed
3-I raped
4-I licked
5-I jacked off
6-I fucked
7-I cuddled with
8-I smoked
9-I slept with
10-I sucked
11-I stabbed
12-I made out with

Pick the day (number) you were born on

01-a bag of weed
02-my dog
03 -a horse
04------a pornstar
05------your mom
06------john gotti
07------a lesbian
08------a prostitute
09------a toothbrush
10------a homo
11------a jew
12------an overweight Asian man
13------Paris Hilton
14------a whore
15------a spaniard
16------a pickle
17------the trojan man
18------a bisexual
19------a bottle of vodka
20------a crackhead
21------an orange
22------ a bottle of honey
23------a easter egg
24------my ex
25------a french guy
26------a drug dealer
27------ a stripper
28------a homeless gal
29------a vagina
30------a dog
31------Randy Moss

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White--- because I have a gigantic penis
Black----because Im Rick James Bitch
Pink-----because I love giving blow jobs
Red-----because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue----because Im sexii
Polka Dots----because I hate my life
Purple----because Im gay
Gray-----because i love marijuana
Orange-----because I have double d's
Green-----because Im beautiful
Other-----because im a drug dealer
Turqoise-----because I have an extremely small dick
Brown-------because i swallow cum
Shirtless-----because i got abs

so santa was very stressed out the elves were slacking off and he didnt know if he would have everything done on time and in the middle of his rush an angel brought a christmas tree and asked santa "where should i put this?" and thats why people put angels on top of christmas trees