REDNECK AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!





YOU KNOW UR IRISH WHEN........

You will never play professional basketball

You swear very well

At least one of your cousins holds political office

You think you sing very well

You have no idea how to make a long story short

You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf

There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone

Much of your food was boiled

You have never hit your head on the ceiling

You're strangely poetic after a few beers.........you're poetic a lot

You will be punched for no good reason...

Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations

Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her

Many of your sisters are named Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary... and one is named Mary
Catherine Elizabeth

Someone in your family is incredibly cheap......it is more than likely you

You don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing

You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking

"Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"

You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up
for in frequency

You are, or know someone, named "Murph"
If you don't know Murph, then you know a "Mac" or a "Mc"
If you don't know Murph, Mac or Mc, then you know "Sully"
You'll probably also know Sully McMurphy

The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks

You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.

You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't excercise it yourself.

You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast.

You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor.

You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies.

The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.

You eat homefried taters for brakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner.

You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.

Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.

There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.


50 Signs You Know You're A Chewing Redneck
1. You know cool words like "fatty", "spitter", and "pinner"
2. You chew when you're depressed.
3. You chew when you're happy.
4. You've probably spent close to $750 on bottled water only to see it poured out in the Parking lot.
5. You trim your fingernails in a specific manner to better facilitate the opening of a tin.
6. Your tin collection is the pride of your dorm room.
7. You have a log of chew in your fridge at this instant.
8. The term "The Big Dipper" has no astronomical meaning to you at all.
9. You once hooked up with a girl, only to comment to your friends how much her breath mints made her taste like Spearmint Skoal.
10. You once made a girl cry for spilling your tin of chew.
11. Once, after a friend poured his heart out to you about why his life sucked, you replied with: "That sucks. . . . .Wanna dip?" and it made him feel better and he said yes!
12. More than once, you've gone hungry in order to have money for more chew.
13. You answer the question "Got any chew?" with the questoin "Am I Breathing?"
14. You have knowingly watched a guy you didn't know drink your spitter, loogeys and all, only to laugh as he puked in the sink.
15. You have dipped a half a tin at one time.
16. You dipped in english class only to spit in a puddle on the floor.
17. You've spilled a tin on the ground, but took a pinch off the pile before admitting the chew had been lost.
18. You can pack a tin to the tune of Stairway to Heaven.
19. You have engaged in masturbatory exercises while chewing.
20. You once sent an email to a buddy that consisted only of the word "CHEW" repeated over and over.
21. The afore-mentioned email meant a lot to your friend.
22. You cried when you thought you were giving up chewing forever.
23. You once tried to quit and almost made it 72 hours without a dip.
24. Your ideal death would be "Death By Nicotine".
25. No matter how much you've done it, smoking is never a replacment for chew so you smoke and chew at the same time.
26. You've been kicked off an academic sports team for chewing.
27. You gain tremendous joy from making freshmen on your football team chew.
28. You have once been awakened merely by the smell of a fresh tin in your room.
29. You brain instinctively tunes out a female voice speaking the words: "Eewwwww. That's nasty."
30. You watched the World Series just to see which pitcher had the biggest dip in.
31. If you meet a guy for the first time, no matter how big of a dick he is, if he's got a dip in, you think to yourself, "He can't be that bad."
32. When a friend mumbles to you, "Mmmmmm, mmmmmm." You understand him clearly to say, "Please, good friend, hand me my spitter."
33. One time, a guy you hardly knew gave you a free tin, you told him you loved him, and you meant it.
34. Your opinion of a zoo rests entirely on whether it posesses kodiak bears.
35. In a drunken stupor, you once had a conversation with the Bear.
36. You re-wrote the lyrics to Candle in the Wind to dedicate the song to Kodiak.
37. Your mom bought you a log for your 17th birthday.
38. At one time or another, you were kissing your girlfriend and thinking whether or not you had any chew in your truck.
39. Your girlfriend threatened to leave you bc you chewed.
40. You called her bluff.
41. One of your most treasured memories includes sitting on a log in the woods behind your high school baseball field dipping Cope Long with one of your best friends.
42. News of a new kind of dip gets you all riled up for two weeks straight.
43. You own a cuspidor solely because you and your friends dipped your asses off for two months.
44. You have once said this: "Damn my lip hurts. Anybody got a dip?"
45. You once chewed Cougar bc it claimed to be dip.
46. Your girlfriend once gave you and your buddies a bunch of free chew.
47. Your intense fascination with Diamond Dallas Page can be traced to your subconscious association of the letters "DDP" with "DIP".
48. Your dentist told you to stop chewing.
49. You didn't listen.
50. Once you were stung by a bee, so you held a pinch of skoal cherry to your face

my sport




The Brew


UFC!!!!!!


gotta love the ice man


The Drink of Choice


The Future Ride


The Passion










i love to go fast ......

Motley Crue. Hank Williams Jr. The Rolling Stones.
Ac/Dc. Skynyrd. Chilli Peppers. Metallica.
George Strait. Garth Brooks. Aerosmith.
The Beatles. Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd.
Guns n' Roses. Rush. Zz Top. Sublime.
Toby Keith. Tim McGraw. Tom Petty.
Van Halen. Steve Earl. Alan Jackson. Queen
Velvet Revolver. Van Morrison. The Who.
Rage Against the Machine. Nirvana. Bon Jovi.
Audioslave. Korn. The Kinks. Johnny Cash.
Hendrix. Clapton. The Eagles. CCR.
Brooks n Dunn. Charlie Daniels. Bon Jovi.
Alice in Chains. Bob Seger. Springsteen.
Brad Paisley. Big and Rich. Ozzy.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Chris Ledoux