My Poem
Teachers are bitches we all must endure
If passing whore we want to assure.
They lecture.
They fast
They preach.
They scold.
When fucking the slut, they're a thing to
behold.
Teachers can ride you right out of your tree
When driving home hoes that they want you to see.
Listen.
fuck
Pay attention!
Look!!!
And what they think is wuick is gobbledygook.
Teachers have features that might make you ream
Or feel you were fucked inside a bad dream.
You'd run.
You'd hide.
You'd slide .
You'd depart.
They'd really be a bitches if they weren't so darn smart.
Original
Teachers are creatures we all must endure
If passing grades we want to assure.
They lecture.
They nag.
The preach.
They scold
When cracking the whip, they're a thing to behold.
Teachers can drive you right out of your tree
When driving home points that they want you to see.
Listen.
Watch.
Pay attention!
Look!!!
And what they think is important is gobbledygook.
Teachers have features that might make you scream,
Or feel you were trapped inside a bad dream.
You'd run.
You'd hide.
You'd flee.
You'd depart.
They'd really be a problem if they weren't so darn smart
If You know me you're invited...
when: Monday , after exams and whatnot ( sleepover too prolly )
where: Jos's House
why: 16TH BDAY!
What: BYOB, BYOD, movies, videogames, games etc...
20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters (Use it next year?)
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
8. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away.
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.
11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
13. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.
14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
15. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.
16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M&M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.
18. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.
19. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.
20. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished.
Breakfast:
Chicken Noodles Soup
Lunch:
Chicken Noodle Soup
Dinner:
BC Place cheeseburger
Snack:
Small Bag of Chips.
Breakfast:
nothing [ slept in ]
Lunch:
Tortilla wrap + cheese + ham
Dinner:
Subway sangwhich [ lots of southwest sauce ]
snack:
1x Granola bar
breakfast:
4x's toast + peanut butter
lunch:
2x's banana
dinner:
subway, chicken + lots of southwest sauce
Breakfast:
nothing
Lunch:
Sangwhich with steak , lettuce and onions.
Dinner:
Sangwhich on Panini bread , with ham and some random cheese thing.
snack:
crackers
chimichanga
Breakfast:
2x's Toast + Peanut Butter
Lunch:
2x Chimmichanga
Dinner:
2x Ham Sangwhich w/ cheese
snack:
ms Vickies Salt and Vinegar Chips
----------------------
for baseball...
tuesday - sunday
Summer '06
Name: Josh
Age: 15
Hair: brown
Eyes: brown
Did You:
Do everything you wanted to: Not sure
Party: not much
With Alcohol: no
Drink of choice: gatorade... rofl
Best Memory: Winning PNC
Scariest Memory: Getting Drilled in the ear by a fastball
Funniest Memory: the coach on the way back from the BC Summer games... " So what are you guy gonna win" *points at me and people on my team* me : "uhh bronze" coach guy : " YEAHHHHH BRONZEEEE!!! " coach guy : "What Sport? " me: "baseball?" coach : " BRONZEEEEE IN BASEBALLL YEAH!!!!!!! "
Smoke: nope. bad for you.
Make new friends: a hell of a lot!
Eat icecream: ya... but from 7/11
Work: No, works for nubs
Get a tan: A dominant one
Get your heart broken: nope ^_^ <3 claire
Best person to hang with: Baseball crews... : )
Best movie seen: Scary Movie 4 on ppv in portland with like 50 people in the room
Longest conversation: probably the people i roomed with at pnc : | we we're pumped... or maybe when people kept farting a bc summer games then jordan (the coach) finaly said... " next person to say anything does 42 poles "... we were quiet
Longest laughing fit: hmmm... Harley At shaylas? was that in the summer?
Saddest moment: Ruby leaving : /
Newest friend: a bunch of bsaeball guys
Longest stayed out: really late...
Build a sandcastle: nope , the beach is gay
Sunscreen or oil: sunscreen for like 5 weeks straight , kamloops -> kelowna -> portland all in consecutive weeks.
Do anything illegal: nope...
Sleep outdoors: no.
Spent the night with someone? no.
Drank untill your stomach hurt? no.
Laughed until you almost peed your pants? no.
Vacation? kelowna -> victoria -> kamloops -> portland
Tanned? isn't cool fer guys
Went to a camp? no time.
Swam? at grandmas
Went to the movies? like twice.
Gone shopping? yeyeah for seattle outlet store
Had a job? gross
Gotten freakishly bored? too much baseball to be bored
Gotten sun burned? nope
Made a bonfire? nope
Been outside during a lightning storm? nope
Been to another province? yep
Been to another country? yep
Changed something about your appearance? I GOT ABS... jk
Gone on a road trip? yea, with baseball
Kissed someone? yes. : P
Been to a concert? no
Been in trouble with the cops/parents? nope im a good child
Had a memorable moment? PNC in general
Had a horrible moment? no
Lied to your parents? no
Snuck out? no
Gone skinny dipping? no
Made new friends? uh... 3x's this question?
Lost old friends? no
Missed a friend? yes : / stephand wtfux are you?
Gone on vacation with no parents? yeah, bc summer games
Layed under the stars? no
Thought about school? yes, pronvicials scare me.
Eat fast food? LoL yes
Talked about the government/war? too busy thinking about baseball
Stole something from a store? no.
Went out to a resturant with friends? yes. cactus club
Talked with someone over an hour on the phone? yup all the time
Woke up before 10 when you didnt have to? yup
Reunited with an old friend? yes. but that was after summer: / still counts stfu
Thought about a special someone? claire ^_^
Hoped they thought about you too? of course they did
Can you look at summer without any regrets? very much so.
On a scale of 1-10, what was your summer:
15
Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.
How many songs?: 3589
Sort by artist
First artist: 50cent
Last artist:Yung Joc
Sort by song title
First Song: 10days - Third Eye Blind
Last Song: Zwitter - rammstein
Sort by time
Shortest Song: overheard in a wawa parking lot - bloodhound gang 0:14
Longest Song: Live at the palace - dj Awbrey
Sort by album
First Album: "After Dark" EP - scary kids scarying kids
Last Album: You Come Before You - Poison the Well
Sort by most played
Most played song: Burn it Down - Swollen Members
Least played song: alot never listened to
First song that comes up on shuffle: Tire in The Face - Dane Cook
How many songs come up when you search for "sex" - 27
How many songs come up when you search for "death"? - 55
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? - 108
How many songs come up when you search for "rock"? - 258
if using itunes, whats your top ten songs?
1- Burn it down - swollen members 13
2- Hip Hop - dead prez 9
3- Coma Girl - Joe Strumer & los Mescalleros 8
4- It's going Down - Yung Joc 8
5- Do Ya Bad - Yung Joc 8
6- Rocket Ride - Devin Dazzle 6
7- Steady as she goes - The Raconteurs 6
8- Im Him - Yung Joc 6
9- Jumper - Third eye Blind 6
10- In Particle - Blonde Redhead 5
