i'm coming up only to hold you under. i'm coming up only to show you wrong,
and to know you is hard, and we wonder, to know you all wrong, we were.
really too late to call, so we wait for morning to wake you; it's all we got.
to know me as hardly golden is to know me all wrong, they were.
to the outside, the dead leaves, they all blow, before they died had trees to hang their hope.

at every occasion i'll be ready for the funeral.

i'd really love to jump, but i'm afraid to hit the ground.

"don't believe the dangers before you kiss the sky. and don't believe me, i'm a liar,
You'll get there in the end..."

they can have you.

i scored 40 out of 40 on my yms for my work visa to the uk. which means i can get leave to enter for 24 months instead of 6.
but why must there be so many forms?! argh.

dear friend of mine,
makes me laugh, but he almost made me cry.
don't ever do that again, never end it, no i cannot watch you die..

i can remember days, things weren't always this way, i used to make you smile, if only for a while. but now you can't get through, there's no way i can lose, i know some days are hard, but don't you make mine too.
'cause i can't stand it when you come home and we just fight for hours.
but i won't show it, no i just hold my breath and keep things quiet.

And I, I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering in the air, everywhere, mother please, save me.
Grab my hand, I can't, I can't. I can still see that face, sink beneath the waves. Baby, please breathe for me give me time I am here.
Where did you go? Where'd you go? Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else? Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now. Every night on a Monday.
I will visit the same spot that I hate. Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it. It took her away. It's been 5 years since then.
And when it hits September. I feel like I'm dying again. Ian still won't even talk to me; Talk to me. Isn't this pain guilt enough?
I can't even look out the window. Without seeing figures distorted in the sun.
And when the Pain hits me like gunshot oh, and I'm heading on the way to the floor. I hear her name and it kills me. Bottles up, bottles up, bottles up.
And I'm trying my best to hurt me. Ian says it's never enough. Cough it up.
Drink it up. Drink it up.
So I had a coma. When I crashed my car in the lake. And I saw your face baby, I knew it was no mistake. So I went to the doctor. And I told him oh my heart would break. If I couldn't see you. He just gave me more pills.
But I saw you up there. Still floating by the river. God you always loved that river. I bet your heaven looks just like it.
Then I'll like it too, even though it scares me now when I'm alone, but when I'm with you, I'll be just fine, I'll be just fine. We can sit, we talk about, talk about. Butterflies, Butterflies, Butterflies, Butterflies...