i honestly do not know what to do right now... i'm shaking, getting hot and then shivering two seconds later... i cant see straight and its all because of the messages i saw. i didnt even mean to see it, i was just checking something you already told me about and then when i went to log you off (cuz you were online already) it scrolled up too far... causing me to see you said "when we got into a fight i told her if she walked out the door it was over, then i ended up kinda wanting her to leave" then saying "the sex is boring, ive never wanted to cheat before but now i do" then asking his ex "whens your next day off? lol" after mentioning that he "missed the good ol days" when she apparently was "down for anything"
so now what do i do?
do i really cause my boyfriends to cheat on me? am i that boring? that lame? i push the guys i'm with to looking at other women? whats wrong with me?
V:
blind.
I'm sick and tired of the mess you made me
Never gonna catch me cry
Oh whoa whoa
You must be blind if you can't see
You'll miss me 'til the day you die
Oh whoa whoa
Without me, you're nothing
Oh whoa whoa
You must be blind if you can't see
You'll miss me 'til the day you die
Oh whoa whoa
I trusted you, you were the first
Then you lied and it gets worse
You broke me down
Now just look around
Who's all alone?
C:
kiss n tell
Your looking like a tool not a bawler
Your acting like a chick, why bother?
I can find someone way hotter
With a bigger wow... well
'Cause on top of all the ways that you messed up
You weren't smart enough to keep your stupid mouth shut
I'm so sick of it
I've had enough
I hope you cry
Woohha-a-ohooh
You got a secret
Woohha-a-ohooh
You couldn't keep it
Woohha-a-ohooh
Somebody leaked it
And now some sh*ts about to go down
Never thought that you would be the one
Acting like a slut when I was gone
Maybe you shouldn't
Kiss 'n' tell
You really should've kept it in your pants
Hearing dirty stories from your friends
Maybe you shouldn't
Kiss 'n' tell
if i knew that pretending i was full of myself would get guys to leave me alone i woulda acted like this like five years ago lol
this pic makes me laugh lol
i just remembered how terrible me and my friends in highschool were lol. we would make fake boy accounts on here and hit on girls, talk to them, boost their self esteem... basically make them fall in love with these fake boys rofl then one day we would just stop. delete the account and then make a new character on here. lol. i find that pretty bad lol
http://www.rerock4ever.com/shirt-2908-smoke_like_marley_kottonmouth_kings_womens_tshirt.html
the cool white boy,white boy!
1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol.
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
5. kissed someone of the same sex.
6. had sex.
7. had someone in your room other than family.
8. watched porn.
9. bought porn.
10. tried drugs.
TOTAL SO FAR: 10
1. taken painkillers.
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. felt hurt.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die.
10. seen someone die.
TOTAL SO FAR: 19
1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night .
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by youself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. been to rehab.
6. dyed your hair.
7. received a ticket.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar.
TOTAL SO FAR: 27
1. been to a wild party.
2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything.
6. wore black nail polish.
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. owned a 50 Cent CD.
TOTAL SO FAR: 36
1. dressed Gothic.
2. dressed girly.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbour.
TOTAL SO FAR: 45
1. had a crush on a friend.
2. been to a concert.
3. dry-humped someone.
4. been called a slut.
5. called someone a slut.
6. installed speakers in your car.
7. broken a mirror.
8. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house.
9. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
TOTAL SO FAR: 53
1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restarant without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.
TOTAL SO FAR: 63
1. owned/rented an apartment/house/etc.
2. broke the law in the police's presence.
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf.
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed.
10. been verbally harassed.
TOTAL SO FAR: 73
1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
10. cheated on a test.
GRAND TOTAL : 83
If you have less than 10.. write [i]
what have i gotten tangled up in?!
i wish i knew how to tell people how i feel. im trying to assert myself... but its hard with certain situations concerning certain people...i just cant bring myself to do it for some reason... but it needs to be done because its tearing me apart. is what i'm feeling real? are the things in my mind real? or am i just dillusional?
whats real and whats in my head? am i just making things up and giving myself excuses to push myself away? is it just because i'm afraid of all of this? i dont even know whats wrong with me but i hate it.
