Hello, to anyone that's taking the time to read my whining.
This isn't something I would normally do, but I need help. I am still quite young (19 years old), and I had been dating a girl I was crazy in love with for a long time.
We were great friends for a while before I grew a pair and asked her to be mine, and when she did, I was the happiest boy/man (whatever. I'm young, think of me what you will) in the entire universe. I have been in love with her since I first stared into her big, beautiful, blue doe eyes. She was so perfect.
Our relationship was perfect too. I work full time as an apprentice chef, but I ALWAYS made time for her, my baby, my only. We'd visit each other during the week when possible and she would always come over on Saturday. That was always our day, no matter what. She was a virgin before me, and she's never had a serious relationship before me either. One Saturday, after a long time being together and hopelessly head over heels, we made love and it was the single most beautiful experience of my life. She cried after and I held her for hours. For Christmas, I gave her a necklace that I spent hundreds of dollars on. For her birthday, I gave her a promise ring. Would have proposed officially, but we're both still a little young to get married. Plus, her father despises me. Not because of my character. I'm a responsible person with a good head on my shoulders. He hates that I have tattoos and long hair. I'm a good fucking person.
Our relationship was fine with literally zero arguments until last night, she texted me while I was at work. She broke up with me, randomly, no hints, no clues, like a fucking drive-by shooting. Obviously, I was devastated. Crushed. My co-workers watched me sob like a child. I'm man enough to admit I cried like a bitch and I accept it. Whoever does different is retarded.
It's barely been a day. I feel hopeless and I still can't stop crying. Nobody is willing to even try to help me though. Most of my friends are good friends of hers too.
I need help.
This isn't something I would normally do, but I need help. I am still quite young (19 years old), and I had been dating a girl I was crazy in love with for a long time.
We were great friends for a while before I grew a pair and asked her to be mine, and when she did, I was the happiest boy/man (whatever. I'm young, think of me what you will) in the entire universe. I have been in love with her since I first stared into her big, beautiful, blue doe eyes. She was so perfect.
Our relationship was perfect too. I work full time as an apprentice chef, but I ALWAYS made time for her, my baby, my only. We'd visit each other during the week when possible and she would always come over on Saturday. That was always our day, no matter what. She was a virgin before me, and she's never had a serious relationship before me either. One Saturday, after a long time being together and hopelessly head over heels, we made love and it was the single most beautiful experience of my life. She cried after and I held her for hours. For Christmas, I gave her a necklace that I spent hundreds of dollars on. For her birthday, I gave her a promise ring. Would have proposed officially, but we're both still a little young to get married. Plus, her father despises me. Not because of my character. I'm a responsible person with a good head on my shoulders. He hates that I have tattoos and long hair. I'm a good fucking person.
Our relationship was fine with literally zero arguments until last night, she texted me while I was at work. She broke up with me, randomly, no hints, no clues, like a fucking drive-by shooting. Obviously, I was devastated. Crushed. My co-workers watched me sob like a child. I'm man enough to admit I cried like a bitch and I accept it. Whoever does different is retarded.
It's barely been a day. I feel hopeless and I still can't stop crying. Nobody is willing to even try to help me though. Most of my friends are good friends of hers too.
I need help.
I'm sitting in bed, smoking a cigarette, and watching a movie I don't even like. All to kill time until my body gives in and I can't stay awake any longer. Simply to fall asleep. Then, my day tomorrow will consist of getting up, showering, going to work, coming home, washrinserepeat. Really makes me wonder why everyone gets so hyped about growing up. Being an adult isn't a fucking free ride. It's a nightmare. Your own personal nightmare of repetitive bullshit from which you can't escape. Unless of course, you win the lottery or discover something unbelievable. But I've never been one to leave my life up to chance. When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer. I never really had a knack for it though. Then, I wanted to be a musician. I play three instruments. Whoop-dey-fucking-do. Turn on your radio and you'll hear plastic celebrities spit their autotuned lyrics that were written by someone else. Now, I'm apprenticing as a chef in a higher end restaurant. Seems pretty great, right? Wrong. Where is this gonna go? When I'm a journeyman, what will I do? Open my own restaurant? Where will I get the money? The $10.50/hr I'm getting paid sure as hell won't do it. I'm barely scraping by as it is. Maybe if I quit smoking, I'd do better. Fuck that. Smoking helps me tolerate the world and all you fucking assholes. I don't even remember where I was going with this. I'll end this on a lighter note... At 10 AM today, I get to see her... The beautiful angel that makes all this crap worthwhile. I love her with all my heart. I guess things aren't so bad... Certainly, things could be worse.