Only Hope
And she see’s you there,
Standing there
Alone and bold
But will you give up?
No.
You keep her stranded and confused
She doesn’t need this abuse
It’s already captured her once.
But this is what we do
We lay in penance
With our only hope.
Is it healthy?
Or is it even real?
Should she look so dead
Should she stand so pale
She lets you torture her
Taking in your fragrance
Your undefeatable beauty
Laying in her penance
With her only hope.
Why do you let her struggle
Will you ever set her free
Or continue telling her lies
Lies to let her dead heart thrive upon
Telling her of the beauty she holds
One she must find
The one who’ll let her freedom be
The delicate heart she needs to protect
But does she know it is you she should protect it from?
Do you know what it is you do to her
Telling her sweet lies
Sending her to paradise
Sending her to penance
Giving her, her only hope.
But I suppose even the capturer can be blind
Thinking they are setting the tale
But in this delicate heart you will find
She lays there in a day dream
Loving you still,
You are her drug,
Her only hope
Her drug and her pill
Tipping her over the edge
Letting her spill.
You want to save her
Find her someone to love
But in saying such things
You kill the white dove.
You are the one she never let go
The one who was impossible
For her to never know.
You ditto this thought,
And yet you don’t see
You are her capturer
The one who can let her be free.
So you ask one last time, “whose your “only hope” ”
And in your final confusion she whimpers
And whispers, “it’s always been you”
What age should you be getting married at?
I know how to make a pot of coffee.
I keep track of dates using a calendar.
I own more than one credit card.
I know how to change the oil.
I know how to do laundry.
I want to vote every election.
I can cook for myself.
I think politics are exciting.
I balance my checkbook.
My parents have better things to say than my friends.
Total: 4
I show up for school/college/work everyday early.
I always carry a pen in my purse.
I've never gotten a detention.
I have never gotten completely trashed.
I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
I like to take walks by myself.
I've watched talk shows.
I know what 'credibility' means without looking it up.
I drink coffee at least once a week.
Total: 3
I know how to do the dishes.
I can count to 10 in another language.
When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
My parents trust me.
I can mow the lawn.
I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
I remember to water the plants
I study when I have to.
I pay attention at school/college.
I remember to feed my pets.
Total: 9
I can spell 'experience' without looking it up.
I work out on a regular basis.
I clean up my own mess.
The people at Starbucks know me by name.
My favorite kind of food is take out.
The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.
I can go to the store without getting something I don't need
I understand political jokes the first time they are said.
I can type quickly.
Total: 5
I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
My only friends are from my place of employment.
I have been to a tupperware party.
I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
I have more bills than I can pay.
Most of my friends are older than I am.
I can say no to staying out all night.
I use the internet every day.
I can read a book and actually finish it.
Total: 5
OVERAL TOTAL: 26
Subtract from 50.
24.
That seems like a pretty early age but who knows.
Its a decent one, better than 19 eh Mel :P
I dont compare to you
so i wont even try.
I know you wont dare to do
so i just say good-bye.
Why cant i love you
like you say you do me when you lie.
Why cant i be you
like any cloud in the sky.
Maybe then he will want me
respect me and try.
Maybe then he will come to me
and take me by his side.
I love you Silas, i hope they are mistaken and you are still with us.
[and even though you're gone Silas I still feel you here with us]
I've gotten to that stage,
where i push everyone i care for away,
but hold onto one..
is because i feel i am being abandoned?
It would make sense..
why do i push them away,
when they are always pulling back.
I dont deserve any of these people who love me.
Halleluah Halleluah Halleluah
my heart has died.
In the moment i realized you are really leaving
you will be gone
my heart sank
and the halleluah died
i listen to the word
and all of the joy that was there
has dissapated.
I dont know what i'll do
i dont know what i am doing
halleluah.
the lullaby,
the sweet rhythm
the beauty
its meaningless without you.
the only message that still lies behind
the once gloried halleluah
is
i love you.
Does it really matter what my choice is, why does everyone always question me.
So I have decided that i am a lesbian.
Big deal.
I do not want to be with men.
I want to be with a woman.
Why is that such a hard concept to grasp.
I unbuckle my heart.
and let it slide down my sleeve.
Watch you walk out the door
with my heart you leave.
No more do i have
this blissful skip down the stairs
to venture to your smiling face
buried beneath thy hairs.
No more do i have
a time to listen to your voice sing
echoing in my mind
only now, a silence, a dull ring.
All i have now is a sad flute
whistling a sad song
beneath its long breath
in a wind drown'd in the rain.
Short pain being shared
in this fairytale land
of love and friendship,
and of peter and pan.
.
I knew it would,
you were acting so strange.
You were into it too much...
you took it away again..
i thought i was so sure
and now im lost.
I thank you again
as my tears drop..
Today in class we heard music that our teacher either loved or didn't love all too much.
She i might add has fantastic taste.
She was teaching us in a new way, the music culture.
Folk music
Folk Pop music
Pop music
and
High Culture Music
Finally i found someone who agrees, bob dylan cannot sing.
I'm sorry to his fans but he really cant.
I am not saying that he cannot write, because that is one thing he can do for sure.
Even if some are about his dog laying on his bed.
The class went well, and i had a good time, then at the end she said she wanted us to hear the most influential and beautiful song she's ever heard.
She pressed play on the cd player, the instruments began, and the vocals soon followed.
On the first note i recognized the song, and my heard dropped a bit.
I love this song, with lots of meaning.
Amazing Grace it was. She told us a little history of it as most people left the room.
I wanted to cry, for you grampa i almost did.
I miss him, and that song will forever strike my heart, maybe with sadness, but with pure joy and love for the man who dedicated his heart to my family.
It's okay to cry dear child,
crushed youth,
strained adult.
It is okay,
Cry aloud, for all your pain,
for all of your sad memories
you took in vain.
Cry for the happiness
you share with your loved ones,
share it with the world.
Cry for a devastation
let the world know you are there.
Cry for that one, but do not be sad
be happy, be free,
Let yourself fly with you tears of joy.
Fly on, let the cool or warm drops
be what fuels you on, fly on, be free.
Cry for the day
Cry for the night
they let you fly on.
I miss the time i had spent on you
i miss the tender care i gave
long hours or minutes of my time
sometimes loving your beauty
other times admiring your style.
The most i miss is having you.
But i cant have you, its not allowed.
Maybe some day my happiness will return
with you're bright shine.
I payed a great price for you
and what would that price be you ask
My Heart
My heart is what the merchant asked
and i gave it a simple task
Nine long months each precious to me
slowly selling happiness with love and pain to gain
Hand in hand they found me
as i found you and i
that day you came to hold me
lay my head on your shoulder to cry.
That last month was bitter
leading to a sad end
unlike our beautiful beginning...
We sat in that rose garden letting the sunlight dim
I Gave over my sweater, to let you shiver was a sin.
And so i cried and you held on
we parted our bitter good-bye.
And even on September first
almost 7 months gone by
i sit in my room writing these words, and how my heart aches
and my sad eyes begin to cry.
Je l'amour la vie, ma famille, et mes amis pour longtemps.
Je l'amour la vie!
Je l'amour ma famille!
Je l'amour mes amis!
Je l'amour la monde pour longtemps!
