Kicks.. I feel them

Sooooo... Im getting dread locks asap, and Im buying a hemp grad dress.
as well Im going to be wearing Converse Black Spots


but ya... Badass. uhm but as well, Feist was an amazing concert.
seriously, look up the opening act:
HAYDEN
but really. good music. good visuals.
definately worth the 60$$

Sooooo.... you told me not to talk to you.
But the other day we were talking about how awesome prom will be
with our matching hemp clothing and my dreadlocks.. I get invited over
... and then I see you in Transitions.
I sit next to you. You acutally move desks.
Do you have any idea how much I love you?
I love you so much more than you could believe.
I know youre angry because you saw me with Dan..
but I see you with whores like Tamara.
I told you never to talk to her if you ever want to be with me again.

I dont understand why youre doing this.
Do you really not care what happens with us?
Well, babe, I think this might be the end of it.
I'm sorry, but youre the only one that treats me like shit.
I will love you until the day I die, but you are not treating me fairly.
Babe, you are the one for me.
I love you so much, and I cant stop thinking about you however hard I try.
You are the fucking devil.
I hate you so fucking much.
You make me feel so weak and used.
I cant believe you still think Im a whore.
I cant believe you have the gall to accuse me of horrible things
and then you go and do things million times worse.
I love you. You are my love.
I will always belong to you... I meant that.
As much as I want to say goodbye,
I dont think I can.
You are a peice of shit.
I hate you so much.
You are a douche,
but you hold my heart.

I wish I took better care of that.

... Fuck you. Stole my heart.

;:.,-+L...s?!@dd;;;?? [/size]






tha trip wast good.
but I miss him.

I really dont want to sound like Im trying to get attention or anything..
but I feel so empty right now, and Im not sure whats gonna happen next.

I kinda want this stupid shit to end.

So Im having a few thoughts..
IF IT RAINS THIS WEEKEND or TONIGHT Im going to KILL SOMEONE. (<====not really, but Ill be super pissed)
and also, I was wondering.. can you do E and drink and not die? lol, Im just curious.

OMG who else hates this new nexopia as bad as I do?
it makes me want to kick babies in the face...
n I sure do love babies

mmkay ppl what am I gonna do?
I need to get over Cody and move on.
I need a great guy I can relate to and actually trust them.
and they have to think Im amazing.. cuz I love it when they do.
buuutt anyone gots any ideas?

you make me soo fucking mad most nights
and you make me cry all the fucking time
I cant stand it when youre not looking at me
and I cant stand it when you stand me up
I still wish you were here, I wish you were mine.
but you're not, we broke up, I need to move on.
I dont know if I should wait anymore,
he doesnt look at me the same.
he doesnt show an ounce of respect.
argghhh its drives me insane.

I think I gotta move on.

Unfortunately, Im still completely in love with him, but I wouldnt change it for the world.
The other night, he held my hand super tight, and it almost made me cry.
I keep dreaming about him, and the way it was.
Im waiting, and getting an abstinence ring.
That'll be a change, hey?

I love him.

Sex
Have you ever made out with the opposite sex? lol... no! who would believe me? of course!
The same sex? you fucking bet!
Someone you weren't in a relationship with? ...yes?
Have you done anything that qualifies as ''almost sex"? probably
Had sex in a public place? lol yes!
Have you cheated on someone? yes
Cheated with someone? umm, like the person that aided someone else to cheat on their significant other? yes.

Drugs
Have you smoked cigars or cigarettes more than once? sure have.
Used weed or other natural substances, like shrooms or salvia? SWED!! and shrooms are great.. I wanna try salvia.
Used hard drugs? yes :$
Used needle drugs or inhalants? ..used to inhale jiffy fumes?
Used prescription pills to get high? ..nope
Bought drugs? sure have
Introduced someone else to their first drug? ... yes
Been in rehab or in trouble with the law for drugs? lol not rehab, but yes

Smashed
Have you drank hard alcohol? uh huh
Do you drink often? nope... ppl think im an alchy anyways
Have you taken shots? BODY SHOTS
Have you thrown up from drinking? umm no, but I wish I did.
Have you passed out? yah, but not from drinking
Have you played drinking games? of course! thats how you waste time!
Was your first real drink before the age of 15? ..yes
Have you woken up not remembering the night before? Ive woken up confused about the night before, but didnt forget the whole thing.. and not from drinking.
Have you done anything sexual while drunk that you wouldn't have when sober? umm... I dont think so.
Have you ever paid a stranger to buy you booze? no lol

A Disruption to Other Students
Have you failed a class? yes! stress managment!
Been suspended? yes..
Been expelled? YES!
Cut class? duh
Stolen from someone's locker, or put something nasty in it? umm no
Done drugs at school? YES!
Deliberately offended or humiliated the principal? umm probably they're stupid

Shit Happens
Have you ever been in juvy or prison/arrested? umm not really, but cops have come to my house a lot
Have you been the victim of a violent crime? no... I have too many bodyguards
Have you committed a violent crime? umm, like beaten someone? no, I wish.
TAMARA YOURE GONNA FUCKING DIE!
Have you ever almost died? probably lol thats why I still live.
Do you have any mental illnesses? yes
Is your family a dysfunctional mess? not really, but my dad is a dysfuncitonal mess rofl

We're Very Disappointed In You
Ever snuck out of the house or snuck someone in? yes
Ever had a party while your parents were out? nah
Ever crash your parents' car? nope lol... but I almost ran over an old lady
Run away? I guess thats what its called
Been grounded for a month or more? noo...
Been caught by your parents in the act of doing something illegal? umm probs
Been caught by your parents while doing anything intimate with someone? lol no im ninja
Had a parent say you couldn't hang out with a certain person? lol you bet!
Had a parent toss (search) your room/backpack/car? umm I think so ?

Im getting my left eyebrow pierced either saturday or today after work if the place is still open when i get off work... but im stoked either way!! <3

I love Cody Buchanan... we have been having the most amazing relationship in the world... never have I felt this way, this deeply for anyone in my entire life.

yeahh so im single again and i dont know what im going to do now...
i dont know if i should go for other ppl that i know love me or should i go back to some other ppl?
should i just stay single or what?
should i finally become the whore that i was obviously destined to be?
i dont know, and further more i cant figure it out..
please leave ur ideas...

sooo....
jason is upset because i have lots of guy friends...
so i call him and im just like, dont get mad, hun, i love you...
so hes like, 'another thing... when you tell me that you want me to come
visit it just makes me feel bad becuase i want to be there too and i want to
hold you in my arms, but i cant right now because i cant afford it, so please
dont tell me that anymore...'
and im just like... ok...

sooooooo last night i text him, 'goodnight my love, i wish i was there in your arms, then i would be happy.'
and i get the whole, 'you broke ur promise' speech, but apparently i cant talk to him for 24 hours... until one minute past midnight tonight...
lol wtf??

ohh well... and then another thing...
so i text him, and im like, 'i dont think you would ever break up with me'
and he texts back, 'yep. i couldnt if i wanted too. im in love with you.'
AWWWWWWWWWWW

anyways... just wanted to say that

but now im being exiled, but w/e