WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH ..

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING
OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE
MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS
AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK
MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE
JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE
LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A
NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING
NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD
AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY
GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN
NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY
LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT
ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR
FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT