- I've Got A New Plan In Mind Of Where I Want To Be These Next Couple Months . I Want To Move To Saskatoon Until July When I Move Out To Vancouver . However , Before I Can Do This I Need To Find A Job First . I've Spent The Last Two Days Applying To As Many Places As I Could Find That I Am Qualified To Work At On Saskjobs . My Fingers Are Crossed As Tight As They Possibly Could Be For A Call Back From Someone Somewhere .

- Being At Home Just Makes Me Depressed . None Of My Friends Live In This Town Anymore . Being Here Just Makes Me Feel Lonely .

- On A Posative Note I'm Heading Back To Regina For A Couple Days This Next Week To Pack Up All Of My Stuff So I Will Get To See Some Of My Friends Then ! Pluuuuuus I Get To Have A Sleepover With My Boyfriend Wednesday & Thursday While His Band Is Around The Area During Their Tour . I'm So Excited To See Him <3

- Nick Pitera's " I See The Light " Cover Has Been My Backnoise All Evening . Such A Beautiful Voice ! :3

- I'm Getting Highly Annoyed With Immature Bitches Trying To Ruin My Happiness . I've Never Tried To Come Between Someone & Their Boyfriend & I Will Never Understand Why Someone Would Want To Ruin The Apparent Happiness Between Two People . I Absolutely Adore The Man & That Isn't Going To Stop Anytime Soon .

- Time Is Flying By . I Only Have A Few More Months Left Until I Move To Vancouver . It's Crazy Where Everything Is Leading Me To .

- The Second Half Of Season Two Of The Walking Dead Starts Tomorrow , EEEEEEP ! :3

It’s funny how people find each other. I find it incredible that a simple hello can turn into a complete conversation, lead to a steady friendship & allow a small kiss to turn into something far more wonderful than one could ever imagine. It is truly unexpected expectations that catch a person completely off-guard. I suppose that this is what is so great about it. You never see it coming & then it just hits you with such a force that you have no control. Every amount of control that you once held is lost & you have nothing to push you back or stop you. Your brain says one thing while your heart says another. Instinct says listen to your head but everything inside of you says to follow your heart.

I am sick of doing what seems to be reasonable & I have decided that I should not allow past relationships to define the person that I am today. Being hurt may of shaped me but it should have no hold over me for one person’s actions cannot be compared to every existing others. I have dealt with countless assholes & only ever ended up at dead ends with a broken heart. Years ago I offered my heart to a boy who did not only reject it but he crushed it. It may not have been intentional but he hurt me far more than I could ever imagine someone to. I lost both my heart & my best friend. It was because of this that my faith & trust in ever giving someone the opportunity to be in that position again became so faint. Since then I have learned that if you are going to make an honest attempt at allowing one to earn this trust you cannot just sit back & decide to ‘see’ where things go . You have to know that you feel something, something more than a moment of desire & lust. You have to feel something real.

This past month I have learned the difference between being with someone & feeling something. I have discovered what it means to share passion with another person & not have it be one-sided. After having been used, bruised & hurt from past experiences there is a fear that dwells among me. A fear that wants to prevent me from ever getting close to someone again & freely put them in the position where they have complete control over my heart & everything that I have to offer. However, I have learned that one cannot allow fear to be in control of their life. I can honestly say that I have ventured into a place of no return . A place where I am drowning in quicksand made up of fear, uncertainty & nervousness but also of joy, love & laughter. A mix of emotions so powerful that together overpower anything that I have ever felt before.

As it stands now I am absolutely terrified of where I find myself. If my feelings are this great as of now what happens five months down the road when they have intensified & I am all packed up living 2,000 kilometers away? I am so scared that my relationship runs on a timeline. We allow three hours to separate us now. It’s difficult but we make it work because we both understand that it is worth it. All I want is to be with him; every moment I get to spend with him I just want the clock to stop so that I can have all of the time in the world with him. I know that I cannot though so I just hold onto the moments that I do get as close as I can & try to forget that they have to end. I have honestly never felt this way about someone before. People keep telling me that they have never seen me happier. All I am going to say is you can thank one very special boy for this. It is because of him that this large smile that I hold is not fake or forced but genuine. I’m happy because he makes me feel nothing less of bliss. Without a single doubt he truly amazes me. I’m finding myself to be lost in that mixed emotion of quicksand & I’m perfectly okay with it because I know that it is only going to take me somewhere far more wonderful that I can ever imagine <3

- If You Like What You Read This Was Taken From My Blog http://herhonestwords.wordpress.com/ . It's Open To The Public If You Would Care To Give It A Look .

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