HHAHAH! i totally stole these from face book! BUT HAHAH THEY ARE FUNNY!



Baby!!
You be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, You treat me right and I'll do it your way.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

hey baby...i may not be no fred flinstone, but i'll make your BED ROCK!

"If you were a booger I'd pick you first"

A guy drops a sugar packet and says,"Excuse me sweetie, you dropped your name tag."

are you a broom? Cause you just swept me of my feet ....

i asked the devil for a condom, He gave me 3. I asked him for a dollar, he gave me $10. i asked for a hoe. he gave me this number.

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!

I watched a moose because I can.


Pick your last initial:

A: I sucked on
B: I ate
C: I killed
D: I licked
E: I stabbed
F: I sat on
G: I fucked
H: I slapped
I: I made out with
J: I raped
K: I bit
L: I played with
M: I shit on
N: I pissed on
O: I grabbed
P: I kicked
Q: I laid
R: I kissed
S: I shot
T: I humped
U: I fingered
V: I watched
W: I punched
X: I stripped for
Y: I ran away from
Z: I made

Now pick your DAY of birth:

1: a dog
2: myself
3: a telephone
4: a boy
5: a cat
6: my mom
7: paper
8: a chair
9: a computer
10: a book
11: a moose
12: your mom
13: a dead person
14: a rat
15: poo
16: a librarian
17: a blade of grass
18: a teacher
19: a window
20: a door
21: a desk
22: a cup
23: coffee
24: you
25: a pie
26: a bird
27: a llama
28: it
29: a cupcake
30: a hooker
31: my dad

Now pick your birth month:

January: because im gay
February: because i was pissed off
March: because im mentally ill
April: because I was horny
May: because I was bored
June: because I wanted to
July: Because Im cool
August: because its a hobby
September: because I can
October: because I had to take a crap
November: because I am lonley
December: because you're a bitch