I love the Lord and his hang glider. The question must be asked though: Why wouldn't he have just glided away from Ponchus Pilate instead of going through that whole "cross" thing? I have this theory that Jesus just really wanted to be killed so he could come back as an invisible ghost guy, and then he could, instead of killing the people who put him on the cross, villify them for the rest of time. But why would he make a plan to be put on a cross just so he could get sweet revenge on them if the only reason he wanted revenge on them is because they put him on a cross? I think I 'm going to probably make a hot cup of cocoa. Not hot chocolate. It has to be cocoa.

I told you about strawberry fields
You know the place where nothing is real
Well here's another place you can go
Where everything flows.

Looking through the bent backed tulips
To see how the other half live
Looking through a glass onion.

I told you about the walrus and me, man
You know that we're as close as can be, man
Well here's another clue for you all
The walrus was Paul.
Standing on the cast iron shore, yeah
Lady Madonna trying to make ends meet, yeah
Looking through a glass onion.

I told you about the fool on the hill
I tell you man he's living there still
Well here's another place you can be
Listen to me.
Fixing a hole in the ocean
Trying to make a dove-tail joint, yeah
Looking through a glass onion.



THE SHINS - SAINT SIMON

After all these implements and text designed by intellects
So vexed to find evidently there's just so much that hides
And though the saints of us divine in ancient fading lines
Their sentiment is just as hard to pluck from the vine

I'm trying hard not to pretend
Allow myself no mock defense
Step into the night

Since I dont have the time nor mind to figure out
The nursery rhymes that helped us out and make a sense of our lives
The cruel uneventful state of apathy releases me
I value them but I won't cry if the time was wiped out

I'm trying hard not to give in
Battened down to fare the wind
Read my head, at least pretend
Allow myself no mock defense
Step into the night...

Mercy's eyes are blue
When she places them in front of you
Nothing holds a roman candle to
The solemn warmth you feel inside

There's no measuring of it
As nothing else is love

I'll try hard not to give in
Battened down to fare the wind
Read my head, at least pretend
Allow myself no mock defense
Step into the night...

Mercy's eyes are blue
When she places them in front of you
Nothing really holds a candle to
The solemn warmth you feel inside of you

This is my list of things that suck. It's long, so if you don't want to read it all then go find a pumpkin or something. Pumpkins are so good. They can be turned into a jack-o-lantern, made into a pie, used for the seeds, thrown... anyway.

Chewing with your mouth open, talking with food in your mouth and eating fork food with your hands.

The question "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" The only people who care enough about the ice cream to perform a trick are too overweight to do anything interesting.

Blue cheese. It looks like this fish that I saw at an aquarium one time. If you haven't seen it, just let me tell you that it was the worst fish ever.

Musk-scented cologne. You know what a musk ox is, right? Do you want to smell like the piss of some wet buffalo thing? I sure as hell don't.

Jack Lalanne's Power Juicer. Whether or not it can turn an entire day's suggested intake of fruit into one cup of juice doesn't matter. Mixing a zuchinni, an apricot and a freakin' potato together won't give you an amazing burst of energy, it'll give you diearrhea. Besides, it would taste like the inside of a squirrel's foot.

Where is Waldo, anyway? If he made all of that money by selling his books, why is he still hiding? And who the hell is this wizard guy that keeps encouraging such paranoid behavior.

Speaking of wizards, Harry Potter is an amazingly large wad. If he's so great, why can't he cast a spell that allows him to see without those dumbass glasses? And his arch-enemy is a tube. Malfoy? Is that the best name J.K. Rowling could come up with? It sounds like some wrap that I would put around my sandwich to stop it from doing that thing that sandwiches do if you leave them out for too long. Also, his broom looks like a turd.

Cats. Anything that can see in the dark without having to constantly eat carrots must be tricking us somehow. Unless you're talking about Samurai Pizza Cats, who totally ruled.

Touching my eye, your eye, or anyone else's eye should be illegal. It's just gross.