If you asked me, I'd say I'm pretty cool and so would a couple other people so yeah I guess I'm pretty cool....

BASICS

Height:	159 cm - 163 cm (5'3" - 5'4")
Weight:	56 Kg - 59 Kg (121 lbs - 130 lbs)
Birthday:	January 25, 1990
Sexual Orientation:	Heterosexual
Dating:	Single
Living Situation:	Living with parents/relatives
Location:	British Columbia, Canada
Join Date:	09:45pm \| May 27, '05
Profile Updated:	09:16pm \| Dec 20, '09
Last Active:	03:12am \| Jun 05, '10

INTERESTS

Reading Material:	Fiction, Humor, Mysteries, Myths and Legends, Non-fiction, Poetry
Movies:	Action, Comedy, Drama, Historical dramas, Musicals, Psychological Thrillers, Romantic Comedies, Spy/Political Thrillers, Westerns
Art:	Acting, Body Art, Drawing, Painting, Photography, Singing
Animals/Pets:	Cats, Dogs, Farm Animals, Horses
Music:	Alternative, Blues, Classic Rock, Country, Folk, Hip-Hop, Indie, Jazz, R & B, Rock, Soul
Sports:	Basketball, Football (American), Hiking, Hockey, Horseback Riding, Ice-skating, Inline Skating, Rollerskating, Softball, Swimming, Ultimate Frisbee, Volleyball, Water-skiing, Wrestling, Kayaking
Activities:	Driving, Listening to music, Pool/Billiards, Traveling
Musical Instruments:	Acoustic guitar, Bass guitar, Electric Guitar, Kit Drums, Piano, Saxophone, Trumpet
Outdoor:	Camping, Going to the beach, Hiking, Exploring, Suntanning, Traveling

UNTITLED

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AMUSEMENT : GUARANTEED

Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me"

Always in our thoughts
and continuing to make
us pee our pants laughing
even in the after-life.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults

I drink Orange Juice with Vodka. It's like Vitamin C that kicks your ass

I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first, to see if she would read that too

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen but he could not read it; he thought I was just trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky

That would be cool if the Earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer, but for completely different reasons

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something

I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said your gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit. As if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flamable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit

I went to the park and saw a kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed

I can't get into flossing, I can't. People who smoke say you don't know how hard it is to stop smoking. Yes I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera

I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology

I opened a yogurt and underneath the lid it said "please try again" they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I had opened the yogurt wrong.Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. Come on Mitch, don't give up! An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top

I bought a donut and the guy gave me a recieipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this

When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two , and if no one answers they'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two. Bu then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. Bush party of three. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes, No one seems to care, who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now ,with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry.That's a double whammy! We need help! Bush search party of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer...That doesn't make any sense at all...

I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff

My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk

I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito

I think a rotisserie is a really morbid Ferris wheel for chickens. We will take a chicken, impale it, and then rotate it. Spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water. I like dizzy chickens!

For Sarah:
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup

I saw a billboard for the lottery. It said, "Estimated lottery jackpot 55 million dollars." I did not know that was estimated. That would suck if you won and they said, "Oh, we were off by two zeroes. We estimate that you are angry."

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