You never think you're going to miss the fighting, the crying, the silence, the hurt, but you do... You do because you knew that by being able to fight, you where able to speak your mind, you where able to have difference, and defend them. You also knew that after all the fighting crying hurt and ssilence, it was just the two of you, the two of you to help eachother, to hold eachother, to be with eachother. It's funny all the sacrafices you make, to make that person happy, to make them smile. You never lose the hope, the faith that you see in that person. You get so close to them, to every aspect of them. There fanily becomes like yours. You not only fall in the love wiht the person, btu also the things that surround them and make them them. You'd never think you fall in love wiht some ones family, when you fall in love wiht them, but they become just important. Sometimes it's true, the feelings will never change, you dont stop.
Is it okay, to feel like the world is falling down around you? You try to keep moving but it seems you're going nowhere. It's scary thinking everything you once where, everything you stood for, and everything you cared about has gone. The thing you relyed most on, dissapeared. It should just be easy to let everything go, but it's not. Especially things that involve you seem to be the hardest. A conversation with someone made me think, maybe the things I'm thinking, are possible. Could one day it all be okay, and happen again, yet better. I know we really care, that's why I can't let go. I'm hurting myself with the things I am now doing. Making these stupid decisions, and getting myself fucked over. I need to grab a brain and start working on myself...
Home In one and a half days!!!!
what a bussy weekend it'll be =)
I'm coming home in two weeks, I can't wait, I really need this, its been a hard few weeks. I can't wait to see people, and you my dear! =)
P.s. I wish I could see you
I know they say it's wrong, but baby it's always been so wrong. After all this I still try nad erase how I feel, but I can't. When you Kiss me I suddelny dont care anymore. My hear is getting loud, I'm trying to keep it down. They took you away. something in me tells me you're the one im looking for. from the kiss, from the kiss....
lalallalalalallalallalalalallal!
I'm in a bad mood!!!
you make me so fucking mad!
so I am not impressed when I get comments, and the person doesn't have there comments up so I can't reply back! JEEZIS!
some guy "What you've never liked a chicks ass before, do that shit and she'll go crazy!"
another guy "have you ever had your ass licked? it's fucking amazing?"
A bunch of us " what the fuck, no?"
the other guy" you're not a real man till you've had your ass licked!"
the funny thing is this was a totally seriouse conversation of drunks....
and the great songs that where sung hahaha,
how great!
I am done drinking for a while. I have never felt so shitty, good night, kinda scary in some parts weird as shit in others, but all around fun, and funny. Met some funny people. But god I got way to drunk, think I got alcohol poising, Because I threw up over ten times, and I never throw up! I don't remeber half the night either. I don't get how alcohol can do that to you. But I'm done for a while, I hate feeling like this!
P.S,
I love you Taylor Atsbury, I miss you already
Tonight probably!!!!!
I can't wait, I love you babbyy =)
Does it honestly have to be this hard!?
I love Amy and my webcam tatooing fun =)
haha I am now covered in marker, and it's fantastic. I love Soly!
I'm sorry I had to go, I am sorry this hurt so much. I never wanted it to be like this. I wanted to be yours forever. When I told you I had to go, you broke, from that point on nothing was really ever the same.I knew things would be difficult, but I never thought it would still be this hard not having you around. I went from seeing you every single day, to not seeing you for five months. I can't handle the reality of what happened. You still hold such a big part of my heart, and a big part of my life. I wish we could have it back. I wish I could be in your arms again, and everything was okay. I wanted those stupid plans we made to come true, even after everything, I still do. I never loved someone as much as I love you, I told you you mean everything to me and you still do. But baby you said by losing me, you where losing everything, you didn't have to lose me completly. You choose where we are now, maybe it can change, and maybe it never will. But I will always love you. I'm sorry I had to go, and I'm sorry I hurt you.
