I wonder why, why, I wonder why, why I,
Let you wreck, resurrect whatever you wanna
I can't depend in the end you know
I thought you were my friend.
Just stop, just stop, just stop: I think I got it.
Sorry you, sorry me, sorry every in between,
Sorry everybody here will never be somebody clean
There's a piece of me, they're throwing back at us,
And they will buy you and sell you for celebrity status
Today has been a good day. CONGRATULATIONS ZENA.
Zena Natasha Marie Martin is my superstar.
In case you haven't heard, she scored BOTH goals in her game today.
It was pretty wild. =]
What happened to nex? Is it really in the past!?
My 'supervisor' is a fucking stunned cunt
I hate her, she drives me insane.
You make schedules in advance so I know what days I have free.
I make plans on those days you stupid bitch, my life doesn't revolve around work!!
So don't go changing the schedule every fucking week,
calling me on my days off and telling me I have to work!!
THEN quit denying that you're changing the schedule!
Also, I've JUST "recovered". I JUST came back to work, and you wanna work me
Friday Saturday Sunday?
No. Fuck you. I'm job hunting.
I've put up with her shit for nearly a year, and I'm sick of it.
I'm tired of calling in [days in advance!!] to let them know I can't make it to one of my shifts
And hearing "Well you have to work. You can't have it off. We need you."
I CALL IN ADVANCE FOR A FUCKING REASON
Fuck. I can't wait to quit. That place makes me sick.
I'm w a s t i n g away
I keep hearing 'how thin i've gotten'
'how pale i look'
i still know how to smile.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM
WHO I AM WITHOUT YOU
you left me here, I don't think you know how lost, how stranded I felt. You left an
empty spot in my life and an empty corner in my heart.
I've tried to fill it. I've tried so hard.
I've tried to ignore it. I've tried so hard.
It won't ever be filled, and you won't ever come back. Sometimes I wonder
if you ever see me, or remember me, You used to see everything. You knew
everything about me. What do you know now? Do you see these cracks? Do you see me?
Falling a p a r t ? Do you notice? Do you remember who I was? Who we were?
I feel like I don't know you anymore. I miss you, everyday.
Do you miss the way it was?
Are you happier now? I bet you love that new life of yours.
You'd be an idiot to miss this.
I'm so alone, You were all I had. What do I have now? Who do I have now?
No one knows me anymore.
DO YOU KNOW WHY
because even though they say they won't leave: they will.
You did.
You didn't plan on it,
You didn't want to.
But you did. You were taken.
Do you remember calling me? I couldn't even talk, I was choking on tears.
Everytime you said goodbye, I would cry a little more.
Loneliness doesn't hurt so much anymore. I guess I'm just NUMB.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM
WHO I AM WITHOUT YOU
january 11, 2009
11:55 pm
She's making a racket
Daydreamers are trouble
Fantasy became my world
But my world snapped back into focus
So suddenly, intensely
It just crushed me
These tears are so salty
The world is a cruel cruel beautiful place
These tears are so warm
I'm making a racket.
racinarae♥
GIVE ME A MAP AND POINT ME IN THE WRONG DIRECTION
because i don't know what i want and i don't know where i'm headed
...but its boring,
The colors and patterns
The shapes and thoughts
Her mind is racing, jaw is chattering
Everything is silk.
Everything is dirty
and she loves it.
That dirty life, she's cleaned it up
Those dirty friends, she's picked them off
The dirty lifestyle, dirty body, cleared it out.
She misses it nearly everyday.
Everything is clean, orderly...predictable.
Life hasn't thrown any surprises at her lately.
She's too organized, her life is too neat, too clean.
Cut me open, see me bleed.
Rub some dirt in it.
This New Years Sucked.
But I know 2009 has alot in store, this year is going to be epic.
This year is going to change my life.
IM.UNUSUALLY.HARD.TO.HOLD.ONTO
