My eye color: Purple
My hair color: Grey
Favorite car: My moped
Height: 7"
Right-handed or left-handed: Right
My heritage: Im black
Shoes you wore today: My jesus sandles
My weakness: Crack...
My fears: Not having crack, or cheese...
My perfect pizza: Pepperoni with a side of CRACK!
Goal you would like to achieve this year: Get a job
My most overused phrase on IM: WMCBA! Where my crack be at!?
Thoughts first waking up: Crack?
My best physical feature: My goatee
My bedtime: Bed...time?
Do you get motion sickness: Sometimes but only on my magic carpet
Pepsi or Coke: Crack.
McDonalds or Burger King: Crack.
Single or Group Dates: Crack.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Crack
Chocolate or Vanilla: Crack.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Crack!
Do you smoke: Crack?
Do you swear: NEVAR! (.Y.)
Do you sing: Like a bird
Do you shower daily: I only shower when I can find a good homless shelter
Have you been in love: Yes...her name is...guess?...CRACK!!!!
Do you want to go to college: Actually I'm going to start a college for the mentally...crack heads?
Do you want to get married: I have a wife named Paploofda we've been happily married for 30 years.
Do you think you're attractive: Holy bitch fuck yes!
Do you get along with your parents: What? Seriously jews? Come on people...
Do you like thunderstorms: They turn me on.
Do you play a musical instrument: Yes I play the bag pipes, the bassoon, and harmonica. In the past month have you drunk alcohol: Yeah lots of lysol and lysterine
In the past month have you smoked: Only the best rock!
In the past month have you been on drugs: Crack cocaine!
In the past month have you gone on a date: Do prostitutes count?
n the past month have you been on stage: At the strip club flailing my junk!
Ever been called a tease: NO I ALWAYS PUT OUT!
Ever been beaten up: Yeah I fought a retarded kid once. He won...
Ever shoplifted: How the fuck do you think I eat everyday?
How you want to die: In a pile of crack.
What you want to be when you grow up: A professional folk singer.
Number of piercings: 82
Number of tattoos: 93
When you were little, you used to: Eat paint chips
Favorite sport: When bums fight
Favorite cartoon as a child: Pop eye
Favorite candy bar: Funky chunks
Favorite color: RAINBOWS!
Favorite celebrity: PARIS HILTON!
Favorite food dish: Soft cat food
All-time favorite sports team: The little giants
My parents are: I love cheese.
Ideal girfriend/boyfriend: Tim Curry can we say Rocky Horror Picture Show anyone! I love trannys!
Do you have children: No but I have a llama named tea cup.
My best friend(s): My fishies
My weight: 20 lbs
Do you believe in love at first sight: Buddy I mean the first time I ever saw crack, don't even get me started...
Do you have pets: I have a cockroach named Ballface.
Favorite clothing brand: B.u.m.
Favorite scent: My man stank
Dream vacation: Anywhere there isnt police! bloods fo life! FACK THE PO PO!
One time I got drunk and: had sex with a white woman
Pet peeve: When I have no cheesee!!
My favorite music genre: Emo all the way bitch
My favorite singer: Martha Stewart
What can't you live without: C R A A A A C K !
My favorite movie: Gang Bang Party Bus
My favorite season: Vagina?
Have you ever fired a gun: Hell yeah nigga!
Silver or Gold: Craack!
Do you like answering these questions: That all depends...do you like this dick in your ass? Who was the last person that called you: Jesus, and he was pissed too!
Do you like yourself: I am the queen of france!
Are you a good driver: Once I got my crack my goggles and my hat with shit flaps im good to go!
I am addicted to: Anal sex!
Would you rather be rich or famous: Crack!!
Favorite drink: Alcohol or lysterine if I'm a little short on dough, you know how it is...
When I'm sad or down, I: Smoke some crack and get some hookers and a hot tub filled with lysterine.
Do you have a crush on anyone: Bjork
What is your phone's current ringtone: Barny and friends!
Are you ticklish: Only on my balls! hehe
The longest you've gone without sleeping: a month
Favorite ice cream flavor: Lobster
What would you do with a million dollars: Buy all the crack in the world!
Define yourself in 3 words: Crack, Crack, Crack. CRACK!
What makes you laugh: When cindy plays with my ass hair
Do you believe in God: I am God.
Your favorite book: Nigger book
Favorite day of the week: Friday baby so I can flail my junk at the clubs!
Most embarrassing moment: Is when I shit myself in an elevator...true story dude.
Heads or tails: Crack!!!
Favorite item that you currently own: My toque with shit flaps
Favorite author: Robert Munch
Have you ever moved: Only when my card board box gets wrecked or stolen FUCKING GYPSIES!
What magazines do you read: DA NU NU NU, NA NU NA NU CAN'T TOUCH THIS!
Kisses or hugs: CRACK!!
Sweet or sour: CRACKKIDY CRACK, CRACK, CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you a very emotional person: Is that when you can read minds? Because if thats the case then yes
Favorite chewing gum brand COCAINE with a little minty goodness
Do you have long legs: Like a baby giraffe
Favorite outfit: I'm a nudist...
If you could change one thing, it would be: I really wish I had a lava lamp with pirañas in it!
Do you know how to swim: No, but I can usually find a nicely sized peice of wood kickin around.
Do you cook: Crack?
Do you play any sports: I fight other bums for money and/or crack
Do you have any unusual talents: I can lick my eye ball with my tongue.
Do you gossip: Yeah me and my friends love to bitch! It's fabulous! cough *Kelowna girls* Do you whine: Ooohh wine? I like wine. GETS YA FUCKIN DRUNK!
Do you chew with your mouth open: All the fucking time.
Do you spit: Only at small children, WHERES THE REST OF YA!?
Do you bite your nails: I don't have any...
Do you procrastinate: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!
Do you fidget: Well I am a drug addict...what do you think?
Do you brag: Yes but I just can help myself I'm fat and sassy!!
Are you addicted to caffeine: ...yes and crack =D

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, and then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and
say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8)Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment
9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off
21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I just shit myself".
26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good : You just gave "the birds and the bees" talk to
your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections

Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do