yesterday, while taking a shower and listening to music playing from my ipod stereo that was seated on my toilet, my mood changed drasicly from an apathetic grey to a deep dark blue when the song "first day of my life" by bright eyes opened. I had just finished washing the conditioner out of my hair, and was ready to get out and dry off when my heart fell 30 stories. i fell with it, and ended up sitting on the floor of my bath tub, with the shower head above me raining down treated water in a pitiful imitation of dark rain clouds. i sat. listening. thinking. water poured around me and down over my face. i thought of the time i sat on top of cohens. with the rain coming down, i was soaked that night. i realised how much i wanted to share this moment with someone, i thought: they could sit across from me, and we could look into each others eyes, and i wouldnt be lonely.I fantasized inviting a particular girl to sit in the rain with me, then lead her to my bathtub where we could sit and talk, our clothes soaking wet, showerhead pounding above us. I kept thinking: when will be the first day of my life? I'm too mistrustful. I think i'll be alone for quite a long time to come. I deffinately won't be putting my ipod on shuffle next time.