and progress so far: (June 2nd)
One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Some thoughts. Ill add more as they come to me.
- There is no such thing as a "good morning". There are acceptable mornings, shitty mornings and general mornings. I actually think it should be spelled "mourning". Seems to be a fitting coincidence they are pronounced the same.
- If you have a dangling headphone cord its only a matter of time before it gets ripped out of your ear and really pisses you off. All cords in general are the devil in fact. This includes the aforementioned headphone cord, electrical cords, shoelaces, pullcord lightswitches and any long, flexible cylindrical object engineered to modify the object it is attached to.
- The human body simply refuses to drop its waste products from evolution. Wisdom teeth? hm. more like "inconvenient painful retarded asshole" teeth.
- If your life is shit, your fat, depressed, whatever. Do something about it. And complaining is not a plausible reaction. Its like saying "I have to shit" and holding it in despite your close proximity to a washroom until you smell like a turd in a microwave.
- Small talk is not the only form of speech. If im out partying, I don't want to talk about school. Or work. Or the weather. Or the state of the weather between school and work.
- Starting to get reaaal sick of those damn sites that make you get an account in order to read a simple article or view a picture. Don't make me poop in your mailbox.
- The worst time to get a guitar is before you attend Post Secondary. Instead of blissfully playing it and enjoying yourself you get to do homework and have it continuously remind you what you would rather be doing.
Crazy art is awesome. Lets have a peek shall we? Theres much more but it takes too damn long to put it all here.
Just got my wicked laser. Its pretty wicked.
Its all about the Popeye candy sticks.
This just in, Im a sexy beast!
HAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!
What I plan to do in August, and hopefully finish without having to be carried out of the bush when im broken (again...),
I tend to be very stupid most of the time. Believe me. Not that im actually a stupid ass but i find a way. I always do.
Psychedelics are probably responsible for every aspect of human evolution apart from the decline in bodyhair.
- Terence McKenna, Food of the Gods
Acid is not for every brain . . . Only the healthy, happy, wholesome, handsome, hopeful, humorous, high-velocity should seek these experiences. This elitism is totally self-determined. Unless you are self-confident, self-directed, self-selected, please abstain.
-Timothy Leary
I love weapons. These are a few of my favorites.
"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the
bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off"
Im a fairly simple guy: (this is the last time ill do the flipside hand sign, I swear...)
Oh and by the way, I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS GUY. I dont care what you say, your full of ****.
Me so horny!
The Story of the Princess and Metal.....
POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). They all leave....without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the
dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
METALCORE:
The protagonist arrives via huge ass brand new Dodge Ram with 40 inch tires and a horribly painted flame job and begins screaming incoherently at the dragon in a pseudo-angry fashion, flexes and chugs 20 beers. The dragon promptly eats him, spitting out the rings and bars from his numerous facial piercings, and kills the princess...
