-On your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor
-If you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year".
-Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
-You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
-You think the four primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, Primer Gray, and rust red.
-You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
-You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
-Anyone in your family died righ tafter saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
-You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
-The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
-You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
-That billboard that says, "SAY NO TO CRACK" reminds you to pull up your jeans.
-You've got more than three cousins named 'Bubba'.
-You ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin contest.
-Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People"
-When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered and your momma thought it was a gift from God.
-You ever named a child after a dog.
-You have more belt-buckles than pants.
-You removed the back seat from your car so all yer kids could fit in.
-You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.
-You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D. And you said, 'Bout What?'
-You carried a fishing pole into Sea World..
-You think safe sex is a padded headboard.
-You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
-You and your dog use the same tree.
-You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
-Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
-The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors
-You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time call..."
-You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
-Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She lernt to readin'.
-You take a six-pack cooler to church.
-You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
-The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
-Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
Richard Mckinnon. RIP, always thinkin of you <3