CHARface;; - 18, Female, Nanaimo
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You're fucking pathetic.
 

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The upsides of 2011. <3

 

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^___^
I'm so happy with everything in my life.

My job is great, even though I won't have that anymore, I love it.
The people I have met there are awesome, and we have good
conversation and laughs. People watching is great. Working with
Natasha is my favorite though. We just bullshit the whole time and
rock out to our music the entire shift. I'll miss that the most, I think.

I'm finally graduating, and it feels amazing. I can finally move forward with
my life and do the things that I want to do. I can finally make something of
myself, and I can finally make my mom proud. She was the only reason I
went back to school in the first place. I'm proud of myself too, that's new.

I fucking LOVE the people in my life. I have been having such an awesome
time lately. I don't feel like shit anymore. I felt like garbage before, but now
that I have taken the painfully negative pieces of shit out of my life, I'm good.
I got rid of every single one of my 'friends' that annoyed me, because I also
annoyed them, and we weren't doing each other any good. I'm a lot happier
with my life, and I hope that the friends I let go are too, but they're not my
problem anymore, and they never should have been. When you're friends
with someone, you shouldn't consider them problems. And a lot of people in
my life were dragging me down and pissing me off constantly. Now all that I
have left are the people that make me laugh. The people that I have fun with,
and the people that I can count on. I go to bed with a smile on my face, because
I love everyone in my life. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I have the most
wonderful boyfriend, a family who loves me, the best friends that anyone
could ever ask for. I'm just so unbelievably happy.
 

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Life.
 
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<3

Niomi, I love you. You're my best friend, and it's been that way for years. You have been there for me throughout everything, and even God knows that you didn't have to deal with that, or the person I was when life sucked. I have no idea where I would be without you. You're always there to listen to my bullshit. And you can always make me laugh, no matter what situation I'm in. We can have fun, five seconds after we've been balling our eyes out. You never judge me on my decisions, even though they are the complete opposite of yours, but hey.. we're pretty much the complete opposite. You're the most beutiful person I know, inside and out. Without a friend like you, I would have never had anyone to turn too. For a good long time, you were the only person that I could trust, with anything and everything. You still know everything about me, because I cannot hide anything from you, nor do I want too. And I love being able to feel like I don't have too. Thank you. <3

Do you remember all the good times? Mainly including FRIENDS and casadias.
I swear to God, we lived off that shit for months. Well, that and scrambled eggs,
or chickenless chicken nuggets. We'regood women, we spend our time in the kitchen. Sure, it wasn't always the safest kitchen in the world, but that's okay. It only had burnt cookies in the microwave, melted butter containers on the burners, etc. No big deal. We also madeepic tigger shaped pancakes. Fuck yes. I loved your old house, even if it was haunted, and shit. So many memories in that house, dude. Sitting outside, where your Dad smoked, just chillin' and blasting music out of my headphones, ahaha. Popping balloons with our bracelets? Yeah, we're awesome. I remember making window stickers, and putting them all over your mirror. We always made retarded mixed CDs and pranced around your tiny room like fools. Or we would just spend hours taping shit to your walls. I loved our walks at retarded times in the morning. Our Timmy's and co-op missions were the best. I think I spent all the money I ever had when I was with you on food. We're fat, no biggy. Yeah.. our friendship is based on food, LOL. I could name a thousand memories, but my head is pounding and my nose is stuffed. Basically, I just love you, and you're not aloud to leave my life. People come and people peace out, but I'll be here for you, always.
I miss you.

 

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Y'know how you dye your hair, tan your skin, and get fake nails? It's to make
you feel better about yourself, right? To make those pieces of your body look
the way you want them to look, and how you think they should look. That is
no different to me then the things that I want to do to my body. I have my full
"transformation" planned. You can think I'm fucked up or stupid, or that I'm not
thinking about it. That's your problem. But I put thought into each and every thing
I do to my body, or plan too. I think that I was born in a plain, boring body, and
that I'm not as beautiful in my standards as I'd like to be. I think there are things
missing, and I can correct them by getting art on my body, metal in my skin, and
pieces of skin dug out and cut off. I think it is important to love and respect yourself.
I think there is a difference between body modification and body mutilation, and the
people with closed minds just cant see it, but that's not my problem. If you're disgusted
with my choices, suck it the fuck up. I'm not here to impress you. I'm here to live
and be happy doing it. I want to be happy with every aspect of myself. So, fuck you.
 

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:)
December 18th, hurry the fuck up.
I want to mosh. I want to get stoked.
Even though it's at Headliners.

This show is going to be sick.

Season To Attack! aka; whats left of Mass Undergoe. Vic don't get them this tour! Or like.. ever, lol.

The Body Politic Not my favorite, but they put on a good show.

Silence Theory! Cause Trevor's my bro and I love heavy music. Drop A now guys!
OR NOT. APPARENTLY GAY TWO YEARS AND COUNTING ARE LAYING INSTEAD. Blow me.

Take The Earth Beneath Us Boss as fuck and I love love love them!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I can leave before shitty FIA comes on cause they're headlining! Perfect show.
 

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Mushfest.
Describe the best date you’ve ever been on.
The third day of the four day start to the best relationship of my life. Jordan and I had stayed up all night the night before just talking and bullshitting about life, watching movies, and just being happy. We then spent pretty much the entire day in his house, getting drunk, listening to music, watching movies, making food, and smoking. Then after we finished our booze, we walked to Tim Hortons. It was freezing cold, and even though Jordan would be fucking freezing, he tore off his jacket and gave it to me the minute he saw me shivering. I grabbed it in protest, and ended up hitting him in the tooth with the zipper, but he just laughed, held my face, and called me a n00b. Then he put the jacket o for me, amnd just stared at me, then we started walking. Then he asked me if he could hold my hand, and my heart stopped, and I just grabbed his hand, and it felt right. It felt like my hands were meant to be in his, like they were made for eachother. And I instantly felt warmer. We both then looked at each pother and exchanged huge smiles, and then a simple small kiss, and sprinted to Timmies to get our coffee and soup. I just kept leaing in to kiss him. I didn`t care who saw, I didn`t care what people said. Then we just sat there eating, giggling, holding each others hands across the table. And after we finished our food, we went back home, curled up in his big comfy bed, stole eachother`s warmth, and passed the fuck out. It was amazing. Those four days were when I knew he was the one. Those four days confirmed my love for him. I will never forget a single second of those nights. They were the begining of everything, and I wouldn`t trade this for the world. These have been the best 2 years of my life. He is my forever.

Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
Durp.

What is their name?
Jordan n00bface Long.

Do you have a pet name for them?
Boooooooooooooyfriiiiend. (Yes, dragged out like that) or n00bface.

If so, How did they get it?
By being my boyfriend and a giant n00bface.

What’s the one thing that you love the most about this person?
One thing? Then I`d have to say everything. He is the definition of perfection.

What’s the one thing that you want to change about this person?
There is nothing that I would ever change about him. He is the sweetest, most caring, loving, giving person I have ever met. And he has the best sense of humor in the world. He is the only person who can make me laugh at any given moment. He is the only person who can make me feel like my best, when seconds earlier, I felt at my absolute worst.

Is there anything that you hate about this person?
No.

What made you like this person?
He started out as my best friend. We would talk about everything and anything, literally all day long. I`d sit on the computer for 8 hours talking to him, never stopping, or losing interest even slightly. Then when either of us had to get off teh computer, I would call him, and we would talk on the phone for another 4 or 5 hours. He would talk to me until I fell asleep. We would tell eachother literally everything. We`d bullshit and just make each other laugh. We would listen to each other cry. We were there for each other. Then, he told me he loved me. He was there for me. He understood me. He never let me fall. He waited for me when I gave him a million chancces to let me go. He showed me how stupid I was, and how blind I was. He took me in and he showed me everything I had ever dreamed of. He gave me hope for myself. He let me believe that I was worth something. He had faith in me. He is, to this day, the only person in the world who hasn`t even had the thought of giving up on me.

What do you like most on their body?
The way his eyes light up when he smiles.

What’s the first thing you saw on this person(physically)?
His feet, because I`m always looking at the ground. He had blue and green high tops on.

How do you truly feel about this person?
Love doesn`t even begin to explain it. He is literally half my heart. Without him around, I feel incomplete, and I am utterly useless without him. If I don`t talk to him in a day, that whole day is shit. I can`t sleep unless he`d beside me, keeping me warm, and having kissed me goodnight. He is my entire world.

If you had one day, just the two of you, what would you wanna do with this person?
My favorite thing to do is just lie in bed, cuddle, have tickle wars, and just waste the day away in our room.

Do you wanna spend the rest of your life with this person?
Yes. My life is nothing without him now, and I never want to experience it again. He`s stuck with me forever.

If so, are you sure? and Why?
We`ve talked about it. We have life plans. I love him to death and back. He`s my best friend and my boyfriend.

Do you think you will ever fall out of love with this person?
True love is forever. You can`t fall out of love. I love Jordan, and I will stay with him forever.

How do they make you feel?
He makes me feel like we`re on top of the world, just us, all alone. To this day, he still gives me butterflies. He makes me feel like I`m the only girl in the world, and the luckiest one at that.

Would you ever leave this person when they needed you the most?
There is no way. We go through everything together. Always.

Do you two have a song?
A couple, but one main one for sure.

If so what is it?
Tear Down The Stars - The Years Gone By

Is there another song that makes you think about them?
Only every goddamn love song, lol.

Would you have sex with this person?
He`s amazing, of course I would lol.

If you you still have your v-card would you lose it to this person?
I wish I did lose it to him. I regret that I didn`t all the time.

If you get married are you going do it right then and there or wait?
We`ve discussed this. We`re going to wait until we`re settled and have money, and have a life started for ourselves.

Is there something that you think the other person doesn’t get?
He understands me like no other. And if he`s lost or confused, he asks me to explain more, instead of lying and pretending he knows whats going on. He`s the greatest. He is not fake at all. I never thought it was possible to get along with someone so well until he came along and changed my life completely.

Why would you wanna be with this person forever?
He is my forever.

Is it a good thing that they came in to your life?
He fucking saved me. I would be dead, or really fucking close to it if he didn`t come around. I owe my life to him.

Last but not least, how much do you care about this person?
I can`t even begin to explain. He is just my world. I love him, I love him, I love him.
 
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urrrggghhh
Alright, so the piercing sale this year is 5 days.
Those 5 days happen to be before Christmas.
I'm supposed to have 5 Christmas dinners, and
3 of them are within those 5 days. Fuck my life lol.
I have a decision to make. This isn't asking your
opinion on what you think you would look good,
because it's my body, and I don't give a fuck, and
eventually, I'm going to have every piercing on this
list, I just want your opinion on what you think I should
get this December. I'm having such a hard time lol.

- Venoms + repiercing microdermal, but this time between my collarbones.
- Double nostril + microdermal between my collarbones.
- Double nostril + high nostril.
- Just double nostril.
- Just venoms.
- Double nostril (studs) + a ring on the left side, behind the stud.
 

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( Y )
I try to be there for everyone to the best of my ability, but the minute
I step out of line, it's the end of the fucking world. I'm human. I fuck up.
Everyone fucks up. Everyone is two-faced. Everyone talks shit. People
vent to other people. People have opinions. Everyone is just as disgusting
to each other as the next at one point or another. I'm done trying for people.
I'm done being hurt by people, and I'm done hurting people. Fuck this.
 

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Step one.
Rest in peace, mum. I love you.
 
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Tear down the stars.
You are amazing. You are everything I'll ever want, you're everything I'll ever need. You are my everything. I can sit beside you in silence, just listening to your heartbeat, and be completely content with everything. Just knowing that you're all mine is enough to keep me going forever. You're always telling me that I'm gorgeous, and how I'm the cutest thing you've ever seen, and that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to you. And even though I don't believe those things myself, it makes me happy to know that a wonderful person like you can think so highly of a fuck-up like me. I know that you would take a bullet for me, and as much as that scares me sometimes, it also makes me feel special. You're the only person in the world that can make me feel alive. You're the only person that I know will never give up on me, because I have given you every opportunity to leave me in the dust, and you always just tugged me in closer, and told me that you loved me. We're only 18, and people tell us that we're crazy, and that we'll never last, but this is just another challenge that we'll accept, defeat, and shove down people's throats. You have changed me in the best way possible. You took the shitty worthless human I was, and made me feel worthy, beautiful, and strong. You saved my life. My heart is in your hands, and I trust you. I love you so much. You're gorgeous, smart, funny, and all mine. Forever and always, we're invincible. "I wouldn't ever let you fall down."
 
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:)
If you're not going to the show tonight, you're probably really missing out on a fantastic time. Ninjaspy always draws a big crowd, and even though they're not my favorite band in the whole world, I can admit they thrown down, and I love to listen to them live. The Perfect Trend have gotten so much better, I actually look forward to them now. And once again, they draw a huge crowd. And who else draws a huge crowd? On Call Heroes. So tonight should be great. Plus, The Body Politic and Synapse are playing as well! So stoked. Annnd I get to see everyone who I haven't seen all fucking summer, or even longer then that! Sammi and Cody are crashing at my place tonight, and it should be good times. It's been waaay too long. Gah! Tonight is going to be so great. And as sad as it is, I know it's going to be better then CB Booking Fest, because that show was absolute shit. So this will make up for the shitty let down that was. Again, if you're not going, you're missing out on something good!
 

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uhg.
Keep my past where it belongs; buried beneath the dirt.
Stop bringing it up. Stop thinking I give two fucks.
I just don't care anymore.
 

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