A promising Northwest Canada tour was reduced, rapidly, to a three date vacation including shows in Edmonton, Calgary and Vancouver. We played our Edmonton show, had a good time with some friends and prepped for the road. We had a lot to look forward to, despite our lack of dates. Calgary was our first out-of-town show and we'd heard a lot of great buzz on various social networking sites regarding our band and Vancouver promised to be an extremely memorable show, which will be addressed further on. We loaded up early on the Tuesday and piled in to the van, eager to get on our way. As we exited the city we realized how much time we'd really get to spend in the other cities and that floored us. It became clear that maybe we'd benefited from the other dates not working out. We had a tape deck adaptor to run our iPods and it refused to work. It was a quiet start and totally irritating trying to get the music going but, after enough fiddling and roughhousing with the dash, it kicked in. The speakers on the left side of the van still didn't work, but we weren't complaining.

We made it to Calgary, despite some rough winds attacking our trailer, relatively quickly. Ready to get things underway we arrived at the venue rather early. The New Black is a great venue close to the city's core and across the river from the Calgary Zoo. They operate as a recording studio that doubles as an all ages venue and take great care of the space. As one might expect, we made some new friends in the city and got the chance to see some old ones. The show itself was a lot of fun and a complete wake up call to the fact that Calgary's hardcore scene is actually really organized, passionate and, when we played, booming. Our friend Rodney (Cold Craving) was kind enough to offer us his house to crash in after the show and we absorbed as much sleep and relaxation as possible. The Canadian Rocky Mountains can be the most unforgiving, malicious, dangerous place in the world and we were all aware of what we'd have to conquer the next day. We consider our '91 Astro Van to be a part of the band and it really performed well for us throughout this entire endeavour. From pulling a trailer for more than 2,500 kilometres to handling most of what the mountain's winter weather could throw our way, it really did its job.

Josh was born in Vancouver and hadn't been back since and Ryan had never driven through the mountains. Robbie and Andrew were fairly familiar with the drive but their familiarity with it didn't tarnish the view at all. The first hundred kilometres, or so, were wonderful and uneventful. It was relaxing and a great sight. Eventually we needed a bathroom break so we stopped. Ryan was promptly attacked by the outhouse stall door. It swung shut hard as he entered and took a chunk of flesh out of the back of his ankle near his Achilles tendon. He raged for a minute, got over it and jumped in to the Van. As we climbed through the rocky path, carefully keeping our speed down to maintain control over the trailer and to combat the already vicious winds, the weather started to change. This would be some of the worst conditions we'd have to deal with throughout the entire trip.

The snow was thick on the ground, the ice was firm underneath and we were completely snow-blind in places. We maintained a speed of between 50 and 80 kilometres per hour for the majority of the run and every stop felt like a landmark as though we were climbing these mountains on foot. We learned, at the end of this ordeal, that these conditions were exceptionally bad and that we weren't just imagining things. Eventually, due to Robbie's careful driving and a lot of patience, we made it to Kamloops. We hit up a Denny's and decided that we should just sleep there. It was dark and if the mountains continued to show us bad weather we could get in to some serious trouble. We sought out the cheapest motel and called around the city until we found the Thriftlodge. Thriftlodge was your average looking motel only inside its office there's a man named Freddy. From the van it looked like Freddy was giving Robbie a hard time so Ryan went in to investigate. It turns out that Freddy made the observation that we were a band and decided to give us an insane deal on the rooms. Freddy was a nice guy but he had a really strange way of showing it. When the transaction was done he came out to the van. He looked at Andrew and said, “Fuck you, fuck you!” He promptly informed him that it was a term of endearment. He looked at Josh and added, “Shut up, go to sleep!” To which Josh replied, uncomfortably, “You too, man.” He gave us two rooms with two beds for fifty bucks. He only requested that we give him some of our T-shirts and, for that, he gave each of us a leather skull cap. It was like a biker christmas exchange.

We took our necessary belongings to our respective rooms and hit the mattresses hard. Andrew proceeded to do some serious bed dives before getting tired and taking a shower. Robbie and Ryan had been inspecting their beds for bed bugs. It was never confirmed whether or not the bugs they did find dead in the cracks of the bed frame were actually bed bugs but they chose to take the safe route and bunk with Josh and Andrew as they had metal frames and no sign of any bugs. Everyone had showered by this point and everyone felt great. We set our alarms for 6:00AM and made sure we were up and out of there with enough time to make it to Vancouver during the day.

We carried on the next day through the remainder of the mountains. The weather got progressively better and the world warmed up. We arrived in Vancouver and the van doors opened. We stopped in at our friends James and Chad's apartment and then proceeded to the house we'd be staying in for the next three days. Glenda, as it's known, is the sister house to Brenda, which is Andrew's home in Edmonton. The residents are former inhabitants of Brenda, good friends and could not have been more hospitable. Amanda, Steve and Graham made better tour guides than we would have thought possible. The area is beautiful, the food is amazing and we really got a taste of the way a city should work. Colin, a new-found righteous friend, and Amanda broke their World Of Warcraft night to cater to our touristy needs and we appreciated it. The Vancouver adventure began with us heading downtown to shop and explore. We took transit and left the van at the house, which proved to be the right choice. The transit really works well in Vancouver. We had no problem with it the entire time. In this first experience with it, however, we met a drunk man who regaled us with his poorly done Elvis impersonations. In the end we realized that even the winos in Vancouver are more entertaining and friendly than the ones in Edmonton.

We hit up Taco Del Mar and shopped a bit, not buying a whole lot, before James met up with us and we went back to Glenda. Chad and Hunter, our friends and the show's promoters, hung out for a bit before they stole Colin to do some last minute, late night show promotion. Chad lost his bus pass that night while postering and was not stoked. We left Glenda again to grab dinner. James and Amanda were the guides and led us to a restaurant called Foundation. We had been advised to expect poor customer service and and careless staff but what we were met with was awesome rap, which may have been a little too loud but it added to the atmosphere regardless, prompt and considerate servers and some of the most delicious food we'd ever had. Ringleader highly recommends Foundation. We exited the restaurant expecting a brutal cold and a rush of wind and, to our surprise, that the sun had set and it was still warm. It was January fourth and it was warm at almost midnight. Edmonton couldn't have felt further away and we didn't mind.

We made our way, quickly and easily on the functional transit, back to Glenda. Amanda, who might be the best host in the world, made sure we were comfortable and we all went to sleep. The next morning was relaxing and, at the same time, full of anticipation. Amanda made us coffee and we discussed where we'd go for breakfast. Graham had to go to school so Steve and Amanda took us to what we've all agreed is the best place to get breakfast in the world. Bandidas on Commercial and 12 Avenue is, on its own, a good enough reason to drive from Edmonton to Vancouver. Catering to vegans and omnivores alike, this place is outstanding and will not leave you disappointed. Steve parted ways with us for a while and we continued our exploration of the city. We walked down commercial and hit up a few stores before heading back to Glenda to get ready for the show.

We relaxed for a bit while Amanda and Colin baked the vegan goods for the charity bake sale. Katina, a good friend, James' sister and yet another former Edmontonian, was also busy at home baking up a storm. The bake sale was by donation but it really contributed a lot more than one might think. Either Colin, Katina and Amanda are exceptional bakers or people really did care about the cause. It's likely a combination of both. Glenda filled up with people briefly and it was finally time to head to the show. We piled in the van with Chad and James only to discover that our van's fans weren't running. We were extremely concerned about driving through the cold, wintery mountains in the coming days but that could wait. The alley behind The Red Gate was littered with what are often referred to as “City Trolls”. City Trolls like to raid your vehicle and steal everything inside it. Hooked on the top of a chain link fence, hanging half open and empty, was someone's large travel suitcase, which likely held a lot of personal belongings. It served as an ominous warning to pay close attention to the van.

We loaded in quickly through the back door and Josh set up his drums. The Red Gate is a fantastic place to hold shows. It's an art space so, naturally, there's a ton of interesting, eye-catching art everywhere inside. Andrew explored the place while the rest of the band made a quick food run and, only minutes after they returned, were met with police who had arrived to shut the show down with the argument that there had been noise complaints. This was appalling to everyone in attendance as Greg Bennick of Trial had graciously given us the opportunity to turn this ordinary show in to a contributor to the 100 Shows For Haiti benefit, a project stemming from the bigger organization One Hundred For Haiti, which Greg is very involved with. This show was very important to all of us and that's exactly why we did it regardless of the police intervention. With military precision the bands packed their gear, and raced to a communal jam space dubbed Garbage Mountain. The name is quite misleading; the space was very clean. With the same kind of coordination and organization all of the other participants in that night's activities also arrived shortly after. The distance between the two locations wasn't enormous but, surprisingly, more people showed up than had been at The Red Gate.

We found out after we arrived at home that the noise complaint was legitimate but it had nothing to do with our show, which would be frustrating if the change in plans wasn't so fortunate for all of us. The benefit was able to collect more money for the cause and we even pocketed a little extra gas money as there was no formal venue to pay that night. Garbage Mountain was free and between the door fee and the bake sale donations a lot was earned.

The space reserved for bands to play was very compact and this suited us just fine. No stage, no ridiculous light show and everyone knew what they were there for. Jelly Boys, Tongue Tied and Tempest, especially Tempest, raged hard and the whole show was a lot of fun. It was our turn and the room was still packed. Tons of our friends from Edmonton, now residents of Vancouver, had come out to the show and it really made us feel at home. We played our set, which we condensed to five songs, because we had a surprise for the room that only a handful of people knew about. At the end of our set we invited Greg Bennick to the “stage”.

He spoke about the benefit, the origin of the effort and what we had done that night to contribute. He, as one would expect, concisely captured the essence of what hardcore and punkrock really is and reminded the room of why we love this music and why we participate in it. Against all odds, with a number of serious obstacles in our way, we, collectively, not only made the show happen but we did it to help others. One of the major points he made that night was that this community, often classified as outcasts or freaks, is capable of making a difference and that we can't let anyone, the police or otherwise, stand in the way of that progress. He then proceeded to reveal the secret. “This song's called In The Balance.”

The room went berserk. The waves of human bodies crashing in all directions, scrambling for the microphone, raging and moshing in a space half the size of an average garage. It was savage and, at the same time, completely united and positive. Though we are not in the business of deifying people or bands, it needs to be said that this night, this set, this song, was one of the most memorable, important experiences in our lives, at least in the band. We'll never forget it.

After the room had cleared and it was just the bands and a few friends we talked to Greg for a while and he informed us that, oddly enough, we had participated in a strange anomaly. The bands up until that point that he had played with doing Trial covers had, chronologically, covered the songs in the order they were arranged on the album “Are These Our Lives?” We asked him to play In The Balance as the lyrics made sense to us in relation to the event and, as it turns out, that was the next song on the list. This was a very strange coincidence we were happy to be a part of.

We gathered up our gear, still reeling from the experience, and Steve and Graham caught a ride with us back to Glenda. We hung out for a while before going to sleep and reluctantly prepared for our impending departure from Vancouver the next morning. We woke and lazily gathered our things, cleaned up our sleeping situations and Graham joined us for a delicious Bandidas breakfast before we left the city. It was, once again, mind blowing. We said our goodbyes to Graham and began our trek back home. We had heard there was a blizzard and really rough conditions on the Coquihalla but we had to risk it. It turned out to be much more than we bargained for.

We left Vancouver taking photos and final glances at the city we'd fallen in love with. The roads grew more and more icy and dangerous and our speed decreased. Robbie, white knuckled and forward hunched, guided us safely through mile after mile of increasingly risky conditions. Finally, the weather caught up with us. We came across a completely unsuspecting stretch of road with a sheet of black ice stretching at least a kilometre. We lost control and Robbie struggled with keeping us on the road. He did a great job of it but the ice was too slick and our momentum was too great. The front left fender connected with the meridian. The trailer shot to the right and towed our van a full 180 degrees before the corner of the trailer made its connection. We halted in that position. Everyone confirmed one another's health and safety and promptly filed out of the van to inspect the damage. The tires were inflated, the engine was still running and the headlights were intact. The fender was warped but the bumper did its job. Robbie tried to pull the van around, attempting a u-turn on the two lane stretch of highway, when headlights emerged from around the corner. With around fifteen to twenty seconds of visibility before these vehicles would reach us there was a serious risk of this turning in to a pileup, especially with the conditions of the road. As we attempted to turn around we lost friction and remained perpendicular to the oncoming traffic, which had now reached us and stopped. As we slipped and fell on the ice in our futile attempts to push and pull the van while Robbie accelerated, the van continued to slide toward the traffic. None of the other drivers attempted to help us. Ryan, Josh and Andrew finally, in an act of pure fear and adrenaline, lifted the back end of the trailer and walked with it as Robbie pulled around. We managed to reach the side of the road, out of the way of traffic, though not out of danger, and the traffic proceeded past us. Two people, after we had moved to a less dangerous location, left their vehicles to aid us in our effort, likely out of frustration with our taking up both lanes. We had done it on our own and jumped back in the van filled with a thick mixture of emotion.

The mountain air was still rather warm. It was only around 6:00PM but it was dark and the snow was falling pretty thick. Andrew went to see if the truck driver in front of the van, who had pulled over to apply the chains to the tires, needed any help and had any advice. He knew the route pretty well and suggested that we could expect the snow plows and sand trucks to arrive soon. Shortly after, we all helped a guy in a Hyundai try to exit the area. He didn't fare so well and decided to wait it out like we did. Eventually he hung out in our van for a while before he got restless and tried to leave again. Distracted by our conversation we didn't notice him actually successfully conquer that stretch of road. Ahead of us, all of the vehicles that had been pulled over to prepare for the conditions had left with him. It was just us left on the side of the road as cars whizzed past. Some of the drivers were so careless that they nearly caused more accidents as they accelerated through the area. Only Josh was receiving a signal on his cellphone so Ryan decided to take our powerful flashlight and go for a walk to see if he could pick a signal up on his. He returned after having a cigarette and a long walk without ever finding a signal. What he found, instead, was that the road ahead was virtually ice free. If we could get past our death trap we might be able to continue on without issue. We all decided to make a formation outside of the van and hold it on track as Robbie drove. Ryan, the strongest of the group, pushed the van forward at the passenger side door while also keeping it on track, Andrew positioned himself next to the rear axle and held the van in line and Josh kept the trailer from swaying. Once the van had clearly gained traction all three piled in and we were on their way again.

The conditions stayed as terrifying and unpredictable as before. We eventually came across a crashed pickup truck that had crossed the ditch and was nearly entering the lane travelling in the opposite direction. Next to it were a few people crowded around a body. We pulled over, jumped out and rushed to see if we could help. It turned out that the people already on the scene were very experienced in first aid and had already began covering the victim with blankets and were keeping him awake, aware and safe. We did what we could to help by donating a sleeping bag and tracking down his cell phone in the wreckage before we left it to those who were clearly better equipped to help the man. From that point on the roads gradually improved. After hours of driving through snow-covered roads the ground cleared up and the lines were visible again. That, however, didn't help the sheer darkness we faced. Even with our high-beams on we could barely see thirty feet in front of us. We made it through a large part of it before stopping at a gas station. We all jumped back in the van and Ryan took the driving duty. This would be the final technical issue the van would throw at us. The van and trailer's lights would not turn on. This meant no display lights inside and no high functioning driving lights outside. Ryan would, for the next three hours, use the hazard lights to notify the rest of the drivers on the road of our existence. When Robbie and Ryan finally swapped again, Robbie, frustrated with the conditions, fiddled with the light switch until it sparked back to life. It turns out, it is a common problem in Astro Vans of that year. From that point on we were in the clear and, as we drew closer to Edmonton, the temperature dropped. We finally arrived at Robbie's house, unloaded all of the gear and began to cope with everything we had just experienced. The risks we took were well worth the reward and we would do it all again in a heartbeat.


Amanda, Steve, Graham, James, Hunter, Chad, Colin, Katina, Greg, Rodney, Calgary hardcore, Vancouver hardcore and luck, thank you.

After watching a few Animaniacs reruns we left Josh’s house, ready and excited for the trip to come. I had packed a supply of shirts, pants and socks in to my backpack along with two handheld video game systems, my iPod and cell phone charger. My security blanket of electronics and clean clothes intact, I firmly planted my butt in the back seat of the car and began to stretch out. Brandon and Josh, being the only licensed drivers, sat up front and alternated while Anya and I remained in the back seat for the entire trip. This small Subaru Impreza would become our home for the next few days.

We left Edmonton wide-eyed, in good spirits and excited for the trip and the show to follow. Our friends Kevin, Durell and Travis piled in to Kevin’s truck and we made our way out of Edmonton together. Josh, in an attempt to make record time, maintained speeds of anywhere from 140km/h to 160km/h for nearly all of the highway miles leading to the mountains. The anticipation was palpable and we were going to get to Vancouver as fast as we could. For the most part, the trip was uneventful. We drove for hours before reaching the mountains. The higher we climbed the worse the snow fell. It became very difficult to see the road, let alone the vehicles in front of us but Josh and Brandon kept us safe and on the road until our first near-death-experience.

Brandon, cruising at around 90km/h, reached a fork in the snowy mountain road. The fork was barely visible through the falling barrage of snow and freezing rain. Brandon made a call and drove straight instead of fallowing the curve of the road, which he immediately knew was the wrong choice. Stomping the brakes, we slid down a narrow, fenced path for around a hundred feet before stopping a foot short of a thick-logged wooden fence. We all sat quiet for a moment before we burst out laughing. Grateful to have Josh’s car and our lives intact we turned the car around and continued on. Other than a few less-than-competent drivers nearly running in to us while switching lanes we had no real issues until we reached Vancouver.

During the drive we made several stops for gas, junk food and to pass the filth we had recently ingested out of our systems. Before we had reached the mountains, we were ahead of the guys in the truck so we stopped at a gas station to wait. While Josh pulled the car around and Anya commandeered the bathroom, Brandon swiped some Scope to freshen his breath and I bought refreshing drinks. We continued on, breaths smelling great, stopping only for gas and more snacks. Brandon, oblivious to the situation, managed to convince an obviously infatuated girl at a gas station in Kamloops to give us discounts on our purchases and give me a fresh bun for my gross hot dog. We made the final stretch to Vancouver in about four hours. For the remainder of that stretch Anya and I fell asleep on and off for short periods of time before waking up to passing streetlights or a gas-up.

We reached Vancouver and met up with our friend Leanna and my girlfriend Kayla who had flown in together that Friday morning. They had spent a comfortable night in a reasonably priced hostel in the downtown area. The six of us crammed in to Josh’s car and we drove to a parkade and left the car so we could wander around. Josh had been to Vancouver many times and had spent countless hours exploring the city in previous trips so he became our unofficial tour guide. He led us around the downtown area and we killed some time before the show. After a while a few of us went back to the car and napped until we left for the venue while the rest of the group shopped and explored a little more.

We arrived at the show to find a lengthy, ever-growing line extending from the door to the parking lot while the kids filed in to the hall. We made our way in to find a mixed assortment of people from all over the planet. I heard there were kids from Europe and the U.S. so I can only assume there may have been other continents that contributed some of their numbers to that show.

All of the bands put on great sets but Shook Ones, Verse and, obviously, Go It Alone were the stars of the night, for me at least. Shook Ones has long been a band I’ve wanted to see. I’d heard mixed reviews and wasn’t about to make any opinions about a band before I’d seen it for myself and I’m really glad I didn’t. Their set was more entertaining and full of energy than most of the bands’ sets I’ve seen before. I’m sure, due to this set, food has lost some of its flavor and colors are a little less vibrant, I just haven’t noticed.

Verse, who I’d seen once before, played flawlessly. The crowd erupted with excitement for every song as though it were the last Verse would ever play and, in return, the band went just as nuts. The only issue was the microphone cable detaching from one end or the other but even that wasn’t a problem as enough people were singing along to drown out the vocals in the first place. Something the singer mentioned between songs was the Verse Curse. This was a collection of unfortunate happenings that occurred on the various tours over the course of Verse’s existence. It’s said that those who come in contact with Verse may or may not be affected by the Verse Curse. Spooky.

Go It Alone’s set was one of the saddest and most memorable I’ve seen to date. The atmosphere it created and the fact that this was the last time any of us would see this band affected my mood, a lot. This wasn’t like saying great things about a bad person at their funeral. This set was legitimately astonishing. The intensity, sincerity and the appreciation shared between the kids and the band was undeniably real. In spite of the understood end of the line for Go It Alone, everyone went berserk. There was a mass of movement in what seemed like a last ditch-effort to trick the band in to sticking together and, when the music ended it was as though someone had pulled the plug on a dieing friend. To suggest that Go It Alone played “well” would be an understatement. They’ve never disappointed but this set was outrageous. I think they knew how much it meant to us and I think it meant just as much to them. This is probably the most enjoyable wound I’ll ever receive.

If this is how it felt for me, I hate to try to empathize with Vango. If you don’t know who that is, well, you should look in to that.

After all was said and done, we left to crash at Matt Bowen of Set Foot’s house. He bought Brandon, Josh and Anya beer, hung out with us and fed us a delicious meal before I passed out from exhaustion as Josh had not long before. We woke up that morning and were greeted with yet another meal, this time of delicious crêpe-like pancakes, made by Matt himself. Not only did he show us the best hospitality I’ve received in years, he helped us find the best route back to Edmonton through the mountains.

We left in pretty good spirits, still a little tired from the night before. On the way out of the city a person in a nice, new SUV attempted to switch lanes with their eyes closed, or that’s what it looked like at least. Following our allowing them in to the lane they didn’t increase in speed causing Brandon to lose control in the middle of the highway. We spun about a full 320 (or so) degrees before coming to a complete stop and, after nearly smashing in to three or so cars on the highway, we returned to the road and slipped back in to traffic a bit angry and confused. Brandon, with a reputation as a very violent guy, kept his cool a lot better than I did and kind of laughed it off. I guess it didn’t help that we had all-season tires during the beginning of a blizzard set to strike all through western Canada.

We drove on for hours, completely un-eventful and the guys in Kevin’s truck left a few hours after we did. We didn’t see them for a while and, under the circumstances, we really wished they’d left with us. Things were getting scary: The snow was blinding, the road was barely there and we were in the mountains with no supplies in a tiny two-wheel drive car with all-season tires. It was safe to say that we were out of our element. Eventually, our streak of luck ended with a sudden flurry of snow and mint coffee. Josh, attempting to drive through a mountain pass just outside of Revelstoke, which I now spitefully refer to as “Revelbroke”, was blinded by the trailer of a white semi truck with half working brake lights abruptly changing speed right in front of us. He attempted to veer out of the path that would have led us in to the trailer and, in doing so, we smashed nose first in to the ditch.

Imagine, before you consider what the potential damage inflicted totaled to, the conditions and setting we were in. A ditch full of snow, trees lining the snow bank and several other hazards, the likes of which could have proven fatal, all of which had little to no effect on Josh’s car. Brandon, in the hustle and bustle of nearly dieing, splashed hot mint-chocolate smoothie from a certain Canadian coffee franchise in his eyes and provided comic relief for everyone in the car. Josh sat silently. We were rescued by some of the wonderful people of Revelbroke that called for help and, shortly after, a large truck arrived to take us to a hotel and we were informed that our car would be towed and delivered to us as soon as possible.

We hit the hotel hard with showers and faux stage dives on to the bed. Eventually Kevin’s truck arrived to take Anya back to Edmonton and they made it out of the mountains unscathed, after a 24-hour drive. Kevin was tired.

We spent the night in the hotel and really enjoyed it. I took a soothing shower and scraped all of the greasy, filthy sweat and dirt I’d collected over the past three-or-so days. Brandon and Josh got comfy and, eventually, we engaged in a dangerous torrent of bed dives. Bed dives are a lot like stage dives only there are less people and, if you’re good at it, you can get flips in there. Josh and Brandon are really big dudes and flew off the other sides of the beds a bunch of times. It was funny.

We got up the next morning and it was worse than we had expected. It hadn’t stopped snowing all night and we really didn’t want to leave the room. We dragged our asses until we felt it was a good time to investigate when the checkout time was. Unfortunately, we should have evacuated about ten minutes before we checked. They didn’t charge us extra or anything, we were just cold and wanted to relax. We strolled about Revelbroke and stopped in various food and clothing stores to kill time. There was an odd snowboard and skate shop that did amateur body piercing and, I think, tattooing. It was sketchy and funny. Brandon absentmindedly flirted with the two girls in the shop, as he did with the gas station girl, before we left to eat at Emo’s diner. Emo’s makes the smelliest, hugest burgers ever. Brandon’s hands stank, bad. That burger smell didn’t come out for hours. Brandon, a man that weight trains, couldn’t even finish this burger so he stored the remainder in my backpack. I didn’t get the smell out until I washed the backpack. The upside was that these burgers smell awesome!

We finally got a call from the towing company to tell us that they had retrieved the car from the snow bank. After hours of waiting we really wanted out of the area so we rushed to the building where the car would be released. By then the snowdrifts were at my shoulders and I was wondering how the hell we were ever going to make it out. It turned out that one of our tires had blown out and we needed to fix it. The tire repair cost around $40.00. The towing, as it apparently required flagging and a large staff cost around $400.00. We were baffled but we just wanted out of that city.

Josh told us, on the way out, that in the process of that crash we had almost driven off a cliff. Brandon and I were kind of skeptical and thought that Josh might have just been exaggerating the risk but, as we approached the place we had crashed, we could see that he wasn’t kidding. We were about 15 feet from falling a solid hundred-foot drop in to a frozen river. Brandon laughed; I was speechless. I’m not the kind of guy that really cares, either way, but it was a pretty big stomach-punch to suddenly become aware of a near death experience.

We drove for hours until we reached Golden. This was probably the worst part. This city, as we entered, had avalanches on nearly every side. Trapped in this boring town, we had nothing to do but wait. It took an entire night and Josh woke from his uncomfortable slumber every 30 minutes or so to turn the car on and warm it up so-as to conserve gas. After repeated checks with the exit patrols, we eventually found a way out of the town. Not long after we became trapped again but this time at a roadblock. It turns out, a bunch of large trucks had crashed on the path and an avalanche was being cleaned out of the way. We waited for hours and Brandon played a bunch of Pokemon on the Gameboy I borrowed from Kayla. Once we were out of there we were pretty much home free.

I’d never been so happy to be in Edmonton, though it was really, really cold compared to everywhere else we’d been in the past number of days.

Robbie and I have been talking a lot about starting a new band. This is something we’re really excited about and plan to take seriously.

Before I continue, I need to ensure everyone that this will NOT be a repeat of What Counts or anything What Counts related. The lyrics are serious, the attitudes have changed and there will be no generic, boring breakdowns and mosh calls. I’ll be the first to admit that I still like boring breakdowns and mosh calls but I certainly don’t want to play that sort of music. What Counts was a learning experience and more of a hang-out with friends than a serious band.

We’re not 100% on the sound yet, and that’s a good thing, because we’d like to let it evolve on its own. I’ve been really in to a lot of Deathwish-like bands and will tend to lean toward stuff like Tragedy, Suicide File, The Hope Conspiracy, American Nightmare, Cursed, Integrity and a little bit of Trial, for flavor. Really, I don’t care to model a band after other bands, but the intense, dark, doomy, heavy sound mixed with a lot of melodic stuff is the intent, I suppose. I can’t speak for Robbie but I would assume, from the conversations we’ve had, that he’s on pretty much the same page. Even if there are separate influences, it will just create a more unique sound.

Keep in mind that we don’t want another “tough-guy” band. Regardless of the entertainment factor of playing in a band like that and seeing things like 8 or so of my friends tear a girl’s house apart during our set, it’s just not what Edmonton needs.

I’ve pulled my socks up and written, what I feel, are much better lyrics and we’re ready to put this together and make a band worth listening to.

There are things that it may be important that you do or don’t believe. This is not a straight edge band, though Robbie and I are both edge. The politics, however, are important. If you believe in god, the lyrics would probably offend you. Chances are, in most cases, if you’re the kind of guy (or girl) that’s down with exploitation or supports things like war or our current ‘free’ market, this band isn’t for you. I think it’s important to have like-minded band mates and I’m pretty vocal about my politics so it might not work well. This may sound kind of pretentious but, as many of you know, I don’t dislike anyone for his or her politics unless it’s really over the top. As long as you aren’t something extreme like a rapist or a neo-nazi, I don’t care. I have Christian friends, capitalist friends, right wing friends in general, and I love them just the same. I just thought I’d make that clear.



Assets:
· Practice gear, keeping in mind that you may need to upgrade when show-playing starts, but that’s a long way off.
· Experience. Not necessarily experience having been in bands, but an understanding of your instrument. This is a hardcore band, not Dream Theatre.
· Like-minded or similar politics.
· The ability to get to the West end. We jam at Robbie’s house near wedgewood, close to the YMCA.
· Commitment.
· Trustworthiness.
· Down for the clown. 420 Juggalo Love mothafacko.


Not required:
· Adulthood. Look at Troy. He puts many of us to shame.
· License. Though, I need to get my license. It might be a good idea but it isn’t necessary.
· An open schedule. We’re pretty flexible guys.



We’re looking for a drummer and a bassist. There’s a good chance we will be adding a second guitar but for now, just to get writing, that’s all we NEED. If you’re really stoked on playing guitar tell us anyway.

We store all of our gear at Robbie’s house and it’s optional. If you don’t want to keep it there, that’s perfectly fine, but it’s pretty convenient.

We have a LOT of gear down there but I’ll let Robbie compile that list as he knows what he’s got down there.

Ask us any questions here or in PM and if any of this is unclear we’d be willing to clarify. Edmonton’s making a bit of a comeback, band-wise, and I’d like to contribute to that instead of whatever the hell What Counts did.

I know nexopia’s not the best place to search for band members but we have to start somewhere.

Mark, Brandon, Durell, Kevin, Josh and I in a van to Vancouver.



Sick tunes, sweet friends, the open road, no snow disasters and a whole lot of meeting new people in Vancouver.

These kinds of trips don't happen very often, for me at least, and I can't thank L.I.B. enough for takin' my ass. This means a lot and I won't forget it.

The only downside is that Kayla won't be waiting for me in Vancouver like she was for Go It Alone.

Look at Kevin...


Laughin'...




















...Why aren't we laughing?

I claimed edge two days after this show.

That means I'm on year 3. I didn't celebrate this and I should have.

Whispered your name in a busy room,
And everyone stopped talking.
Brought you up in a confessional,
And all the grown men within earshot,
Lost their faith and walked away,
Walked away and walked away.
Lost their faith and walked away,
So what is it you're not telling me?
Oh yeah, this time around, i'm not asking.
And oh, how small this town gets,
When you start asking for too many names.
So where you've come from,
And where you're going,
i don't care and i'm not asking.
i'd hit the lights, touch your lips.
you'd turn to dust like all the rest.

I LOVE YOU, KAYLA!

This 'hypothetical situation' may have happened.

A young man, we'll call him Doug Shifty, is dating a pretty girl by the name of Kimberly Kabenowitz. She adores him and wishes nothing but his happiness. Doug, on the other hand, feels it necessary to control and moderate Kim's life. He demands to know her schedule and the names and genders of those she would be spending her time with. If the response threatened him in any way he would get angry or bitter or sometimes flat-out refuse to allow her to participate in the activities. She wasn't cheating, she'd never think of it. Having dealt with a cheating boyfriend previously she had learned that honesty and trust were important. It was Doug's insecurity that created this roadblock of mistrust and domination.

Kim continued on, hoping for the best. She spent days trying to satiate Doug's appetite for her time and attention. He, in return, would ignore her company as he was completely immersed in his leisure items and hobbies. This isn't to say that he showed no affection but it was much less than one would desire from their significant other.

Doug had grown tired of Kim, it seemed, and was now treating his relationship with little regard. Doug did, however, understand that fundamentals of a relationship and he stayed faithful for a time. Eventually, though, Doug met a new girl. This girl wanted to be with Doug. Knowing full-well that a mixture of intoxication and the company of another that may be romantically interested could lead to an undesirable situation, Doug chose to spend many hours of a weekend with her. In this time Doug did cheat on Kim.

Doug, attempting to scrape his relationship together from the mess he had made, confessed to Kim. Kim, being young and naive, stayed with Doug until she felt it was too hard to be with someone like that. Kim left Doug after a four-month stint that left her unsatisfied and hurt.

Another young man by the name of Anthony Edgeson, a friend of Kim's, began to spend time with her. He had just been in a two year relationship that ended quite dramatically and wasn't quite ready to move on. Kim and Anthony began to converse for around a month, more and more, to the point where they decided to spend some time together. They hit it off, almost immediately, and began dating.

Anthony and Doug were friends as well, but barely so and could have been considered more as acquaintances; they never saw each other outside of school and rarely talked to one another in school. Doug became very jealous. He claimed that Anthony had 'stabbed him in the back' and that he ‘Didn't expect something like this from him.’ Meanwhile he attempted to convince Kim to break off her new relationship with Anthony and get back together with him. He even went as far as telling her that, ‘If [he] couldn't be with [her] there was no use in being alive.’ This, as well as many other comments of the sort, led her to believe that he wanted to end his life. She told this to Anthony, explaining her feelings of fear and guilt. This enraged Anthony. He began to argue with Doug that his reaction to their dating was immature and juvenile. Doug and Anthony argued until Doug conceded and withdrew from Kim's life.

Shortly after Kim and Anthony had spent a year together Doug attempted to establish a romantic relationship with Kim again. Anthony, reading the private messages between the two was saddened by her response. She had been humoring Doug's attempts. She allowed Doug hope for their future together. Anthony discussed this with Kim and she, regretting having responded that way to Doug, apologized. Anthony, having stumbled upon these messages, but in doing so infringing on her privacy, felt equally as remorseful and apologized as well.

In the messages Doug suggested that Kim would be much better off with him and that she should leave Anthony. He also barraged her with questions like, "Do you miss me?" and "Promise me if you and Anthony separate that we can get back together?” Anthony felt as though someone were trying to take the most important thing to him away from him. He became angry as he did before and heatedly argued that if Doug wished to speak with her anymore that it be without romantic suggestion or not at all, followed by physical threats to cement his conviction. Though that is, in itself, juvenile Anthony felt in necessary to make it a point that this was a very serious issue to him.

Kim and Anthony are in love. There was no threat of Doug coming between them. Anthony has done his best to show Kim how much she means to him and Kim is the best thing to ever happen to Anthony. There is nothing Doug could do to pull them apart and it will only get harder for Doug as time goes on.


There are two responses past this point, both of which Kim has accepted and/or supported:

1. Beat the living hell out of the pecker-head to prevent his further attempts via physical punishment. (The drawback being that Doug would probably contact the authorities and have Anthony charged with assault.)

2. Let it go and forget about Doug's bullshit. (The drawback being the waiting on potentially having to worry about the shithead attempting the same thing again.)

What would you do?

This quote may seem a little angsty without the rest of the song. Regardless, this song has really had an impact tonight. Some religious folk claim to open a bible and find the answers they seek on any number of pages. I've found answers in words written by people far more worth my time than any monotheistic religious text.

After a terrible conversation with my wonderful girlfriend about my inability to do most anything well we settled at I'm pessimistic and am okay with expecting very little of myself. The argument, "With that kind of attitude what can you expect?" is retarded and I will not justify it with a response. There are limitations as to what people are capable of and I'm very limited, mostly by my lack of talent, skill, motivation and, well, luck - so to speak. These factors make it very hard when I look at the fact that I hate my physical appearance, personality, character traits and potential as far as achieving anything I can be proud of myself about.

Well I don't like that. It's time that I commit to potentially futile acts of self-improvement. I will work out as much as possible, even though I doubt I'll be getting any bigger. I will spend hours a day attempting to find things I really love; things I love enough to do until I die or retire. I will prove to my girlfriend, her family and everyone else I respect, or wish to be respected by, that I'm not a deadbeat. I need to know that I can take care of at least myself but I'd really love to be able to take care of another. That's not shooting too high, is it?

Thank -god- Modern Life Is War.

Fascism and communism aren't the same thing.

Fuck.

I'd go in to a long-winded political rant listing my many reasons for hating this stupid fucking holiday, but fuck that.

Screw Christmas.

In the words of James:



This is why you're my best friend.

Fuckin' kid jumped me and I beat him up. The aftermath:




Needless to say, he's worse off.

I just got a cat.

Some asshole threw this cat out of his car and my dad scooped it up.

She’s a wonderful little critter. I don’t have a name yet.