Pick the month it is now: this is what i got I MADE OUT WITH A MEXICAN
because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
>
> January------I kicked
>
> February-----I loved
>
> March---------I smoked
>
> April-----------I murdered
>
> May-----------I choked on
>
> June----------I did the Macarena with
>
> July-----------I dry humped
>
> August-------I made out with
>
> September---I drank with
>
> October------I puked on
>
> November----I stole from
>
> December----I ran over
>
> Pick the day (number) it is now:
>
> 1-------a birdbath
>
> 2-------a monster
>
> 3-------a phone
>
> 4-------a fork
>
> 5-------a Mexican
>
> 6-------a gangster
>
> 7-------my cell phone
>
> 8-------my dog
>
> 9------- my neighbor
>
> 10------- my best friends' boyfriend
>
> 11-------my science teacher
>
> 12-------a banana
>
> 13-------a fireman
>
> 14-------a stuffed animal
>
> 15-------a goat
>
> 16-------a pickle
>
> 17-------your mom
>
> 18---- ---a spoon
>
> 19-------myself
>
> 20-------a baseball bat
>
> 21-------a ninja
>
> 22-------Chuck Norris
>
> 23-------a noodle
>
> 24-------a squirrel
>
> 25-------a football player
>
> 26-------my sister
>
> 27-------my brother
>
> 28-------an ipod
>
> 29-------a permanent marker
>
> 30-------a llama
>
> 31-------A homeless guy
>
> Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
>
> White--------because I'm cool like that.
>
> Black---------because I made love to a pie.
>
> Pink----------because I'm a homosexual.
>
> Red----------because the voices told me to.
>
> Blue----------because I’m bringing sexy back.
>
> Green---------because I touched myself at night.
>
> Purple--------because I served Voltron.
>
> Gray----------because I was drunk.
>
> Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
>
> Orange -------because I am a silly monkey.
>
> Brown--------because I was high.
>
> Other---------because I'm a ninja.
>
> None----------because I was horny.