Love is the issue on mind this evening, the fuck is it? Does it exist? Or is it just a fairy tale we tell our children and decide to live for ourselves?

I've certainly never felt love towards anyone, in the "true love" of Cinderella or Snow White sense in the friendship or family ways, nor in the relationships of the modern age, only the fondness and liking of the rare individual. Did we evolve beyond it or does it not exist at all? Animals don't feel love, they feel the need for survival and want of sex, they don't fall in love. They just fuck. What the hell makes humans so different? Why are we so much more emotionally driven and compassionate to one another that we develop a comparatively spiritual bond with one another, why do we need such bonds? Why do they fall apart so easily?

Am I just heartless and sealed off? Tainted beyond my years? Or too immature to understand the mindset of productive members of society? Maybe, but even if that is the case I'm still human, shouldn't I be entitled to the same feeling of devotion to one another as anyone else? Shouldn't I be capable of falling in love?
Does anyone actually fall in love? Or do we just settle with someone barely tolerable like my parents did?

I'm sick of being alone, sick of living without love, sick of being forced to live without that which I want and sick of being granted that which I need, apart from "Love."

I don't know anything anymore.

Just thinking out loud. ._.

Alrighty, then.

Here's my basic argument:

In 10 or 200 or 5,000 years, no one is going to remember your name. No one is going to know who you were, what you did, or how you lived. And if someone is forgotten, and no physical evidence of them remains, then in a conscious reality, they’ve never really existed.

It seems like humanity’s only real goal in this universe is to be able to accommodate every living being in comfort and peace (via our ever-expanding knowledge). Basically, eradicate all of the problems we've created. That’s great and all, but let’s consider for a moment that we succeed. We create a perfect society. Harmony with nature, happiness for all, no poverty or hunger, etc etc. A utopia, if you will.

…Then what?

Is our existence then rendered meaningless for lack of an objective?

And if, on the other hand, the goal is an unreachable one, then aren't our efforts rendered superfluous?

We advance our thought process and intelligence and reason as a species, but eventually, we’re all going to die out. That’s just the cycle of the universe. Life exists only to sustain itself, which seems like a pretty shitty reason to be. I exist to exist? If your goal is to exist, you’ve kind of reached it already.

Not to mention the fact that every single human being and every action is fueled by selfishness. For example, a kleptomaniac steals because it makes him feel good. A man who helps others, like a doctor or volunteer, also does it because it makes him feel good. The kleptomaniac, however, is frowned upon because society has deemed his behavior unacceptable, however natural it may be. Both men are simply acting on selfish impulses to attain the common goal of self-contentment.

By this token, the only drive or purpose in life seems to be to make oneself feel good; to grab as much happiness out of this world as we can before we die. I would try say procreation is a motivator, too, but with the Earth's population issues, even that's no longer necessary.

So for those of us who aren’t religious, who don’t have that metaphysical crutch, for those who don’t believe there are forces in the world or higher beings in the sky or a master plan or a place to go after death…

… What’s the point?