ugh you piss me off so much, how can you stand in front of me and act completely like nothing has ever happend, just because im considering forgiving you for what you've done doesnt mean im ever gonna forget it. i told you nothing would ever be the same. This always happens every time i want to have a serious talk you're too busy with your current life to take the time to think "hey the guy i ignored for a couple years and scarred for life is standing in front of me, maybe he has something important to say". but none of that matters, cause i realize you'll never care.
Im way more freaked than i thought i was
K i just realized that 6 of my friends either had kids or are currently pregnant, and thats only since the year began, is it just me or does noboy know what a condom is -.-
if i made the right choice, or the worst mistake of my life
my heart wants to forgive
my brain wants to forget
Its 2:33 in the morning, i havnt slept or eaten yet, all im left with are my thoughts. Its scary, this week i shut myself out of the world and now am starting to realize my true dark personality, maybe ive changed, maybe everybody else changed, i dont know. It seems to be that no matter what my mind has turned sour, to poisen even, i find flaw in everything and everyone, i find hate where there once was love, rememberence when i should forget, disgust that was once tolerance. I write this not for others to judge, but as means to help me track the chaos that is my mind
Haha my buddy said something to me yesterday
"everybody is laughing at you because you still have your virginity"
"but you're laughing at everybody else cause you dont need to deal with pregnant sluts, and all the other problems in life sex causes"
Haha damn, he's right! I havnt stopped laughing! XD
ive been fucked in the head since 2012 began
ive had my feelings on everybody change, nothing is the same anymore
so many things to say to so many people:
- You are both fucking idiots
- You need to rethink you're life
- You need to get a life
- I feel completely betrayed by you
- If you dont get out of my head soon i probably will kill myself
- You can try all you want, it wont work
- The fact that you're so calm about everything is staggering, stop reading that bible shit and get back to reality you bastard!
- Im not dealing with your bullshit anymore
i finally got one of my questions answered, i wish we had a little more time, but i cant lie, this brings a sense of relief to my mind, for this part anyway
can life please stand still for one day, its becoming too much
between You not leaving my mind and fucking with my emotions, my best friend becoming a father to the kid of a whore, worrying about protecting you, worrying about her taking my virginity when i cant even tell if i like her or not.
i just want time to stop for a day so i can figure myself out and get some answers.
- phone screen cracked and shattered, needs to be replaced
- laptops fucked, needs to be replaced
- lost a lip ring
- broke my glasses
- dropping out of ACAD
- fuck you mom fuck you dad. all i want is to leave you assholes.
Happy 2 months (what would have been) ='[
I think im giving up completely
Its crazy in one week ive managed to lose a lip ring, break my glasses, lose my girlfriend (now ex i guess), and drop out of college! I've lost everything but my virginity lol. I really have no idea what im going to do ACAD is the only school that
i can major in glass art
At this point i wouldn't be surprised to wake up tomorrow tied to a chair with a gun to my head...actualy id probably beg to be shot
well its been once week since...
and i dont know whats going on with me, i barley sleep and today was the first time ive eaten a FULL meal in a week and now im on the edge of puking
someone tell me i'll be ok,
this cant be real, this cant be true, it feels like im in a nightmare i cant wake up from
fuck like i cant deal with this, i had a fucking panic attack lastnight and almost suffocated in my bed! where the fuck do i go, who the fuck do i talk to, and what the fuck do i say.
well for starters id say: no im not okay, no i wont be okay, no i'll never be okay
i cant just let go of someone who i've loved for almost 3 years now, i cant just let go of someone whos as kind and sweet as you (out of the 3ish years i've known you, this is the first time you've EVER hurt me), i cant just let go of our history,
I can honestly say... I am............. not ready to lose you to someone else!!!!!!!!!!
